The impact of stalking on victim-survivors

Often, we’ll hear the word stalking used as a throwaway term, in almost a joking way. “Oh, I stalked you on social media…”.

In the case of Nicole Madigan, our guest for the latest episode of our GET REAL: Talking mental health and disability, she was relentlessly stalked online for three years by a woman who had briefly dated her new partner, now her husband.

Nicole, a Queensland-based journalist, joined us to talk about her book Obsession , which details her lived experience, the psychology behind stalking behaviours and the impact on victim-survivors.

The book is gripping and so informative. I read it cover to cover within 24 hours.

Nicole’s book has many powerful aspects including the lived experience of other victim-survivors of this crime (stalking is a crime in all states and territories of Australia), her descriptions of the mental health impacts of stalking, and her victim impact statement (Nicole’s stalker was eventually charged and convicted).

The first impact is straight up fear, because you don't know where this is coming from,” Nicole said.

“And in this particular case, the ongoing theme was that something was about to happen all the time, like something was about to happen to blow up my life even further.”

I admitted to Nicole that despite my decades of working in mental health and community services, I was surprised that her stalker was a woman.

“It makes sense that you would think that, the vast majority of stalking perpetrators are men,” Nicole said.

“That's possibly why it took me basically the entire three years, until a charge was laid, to even label what was happening to me as stalking.”

Nicole said talking to other people who’ve experienced stalking was useful, made her feel less alone and she noticed common themes in their shared experiences.

“The biggest one was minimising your own experience,” Nicole said.

“In every case it was a terrible, horrible ordeal that those people were going through. “

A gripping blend of memoir, investigation and expert analysis, Obsession takes a deep dive into the disturbing phenomenon of stalking. Nicole uses her own story as an entry point to examine the psychology behind stalking behaviours and their impact on victim-survivors. Whether by a stranger, acquaintance or former partner, stalking can have a devastating effect on a victim-survivor's mental, social and financial wellbeing. At its worst, it can lead to physical violence, even death.

You can buy the book from all retailers in Australia.