The Impact of Social Distancing

The impact of social distancing goes far beyond not being able to go out on a date or meet up with friends.

But, it isn’t bad news that I’m sharing today.

I'm hearing directly from our clients and members at LEVEL Connections who are already experiencing social loneliness. This comes at a time when single people were already feeling a level of isolation that dating apps have caused. The fragmented conversations, the connections that never leave the app, the ghosting and confusion, just to name a few.

But, how does social distancing directly impact your dating life?

In every way possible. Both positively and negatively. It’s all how you look at it.

First of all, how will you date in this new world? Do you cancel the upcoming dates you have or simply put your personal life on hold until further notice? Your close friends are taking a break from getting together, so how are you supposed to feel about meeting a stranger? Even if you wanted to, where would you go? Everything is closed. You could go for a walk but you’d have to keep your distance.

Just two weeks ago, I read an article in a recent survey in U.S. News, that stated more than 90% of Americans were dating as normal despite Coronavirus. Clearly, all of that has dramatically shifted as we're all sheltering in place. Dating is probably the last thing on your mind. We're facing an unprecedented crisis and we're all feeling the chaos.

But, it got me thinking: Are love and connection cancelled?

Were the people in the survey ignoring the warnings and putting themselves at great risk for something as superficial as a date? Or, were they simply being human and seeking connection at a time when the world is upside down?

It’s been my experience that when a world crisis shuts us down, the need for love and companionship increases. I was working at a matchmaking company in 2001 and on 9/11, that horrific day when all I wanted to do was hide under the covers and cry, we had one of our biggest days for new membership.

We are human. We need connection. No matter what is going on.

Social People and Singles Will Feel This Much Deeper

If you’re a social person, someone who thrives on connection, this is going to be a challenging time. Social distancing will feel like someone has taken away your life raft.

Perhaps you run a business and you've sent your staff home to work remotely or you’re unable to perform your normal work activities. Much of our social outlet comes from our work environment. With this gone, we lose many of our day to day connections.

Normally, if you don’t have a date or someone to come home to, you’ve got your social activities, friends, gym classes, concerts, weekend getaways. So, therefore, the absence of a partner doesn’t seem as glaring. Right now, if you’re single you could be suffering in a different way than those who have partners.

It’s real, so if you’re feeling it, you’re not alone.

The important thing to remember is that the world will normalize again. There will be plenty of time to date, receive your future partner and plan your future. In the meantime, you could choose to use your time in the best way possible.

The Silver Lining Of Social Distancing

I don’t know about you, but my life moves like a fast train. I long for quiet time for reflection and it’s usually elusive.

You now have time to think, unpack old thoughts and behaviors that might have been holding you back in the past. This is a chance to clear the decks, clear your mind and your heart. Everything and everyone in your life should be put on the table for evaluation. Let go of the anger and sadness you’ve been harboring over an ex. Prepare for your next relationship by taking stock of your needs and values. You do this all the time in business. You're never afraid to confront what is holding you back and to strive for growth and excellence. Your personal life should be no different.

When we get through all of this, we're going to be better human beings. Perhaps we'll take a longer look at one another and appreciate the connections we create in a more profound and deeper way. Swiping left and right without thought or consideration? That too, could become a thing of the past. There will be a new appreciation for others going forward and a shared awareness.

Here are a few thoughts to keep you moving through this time with the right mindset.

Don’t isolate emotionally.

You may not be hugging and shaking hands, but meaningful communication will help you maintain a sense of support which is vital to your well-being. Reach out to friends and family members on a daily basis. Use this time to catch up with old friends you haven’t spoken to in years due to hectic schedules. If you're in a leadership position, the owner of a company or have people who rely on you for answers, recognize that you need support as well. Let people know how you're doing and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Consider virtual wine or coffee dates.

Most companies are working remotely for the foreseeable future. Why not try this for your dating life? Think of having a Facetime chat as an initial “get to know you” before or instead of planning a first date. You can make this fun and informal and a great way to connect if you’re unable to get together. Just met someone new? Go old school and talk on the phone to develop your connection. As the relationship deepens, chat via FaceTime. It’s a good way to not stop dating all together but rather reframe how you begin the process of getting to know someone new. We’ve been moving too fast. It’s time to slow down. The universe is screaming at us and we need to listen.

Call don’t text.

It’s more important than ever before to pick up the phone. Never underestimate the power of a real conversation and the tone of your voice.

Quality and depth wins.

It’s not how long you talk or how many calls or dates you have. It’s the depth of the conversation that matters most. This is what connects people and makes for a memorable and rewarding experience. Something we all need right now as much as we need to stock our refrigerators.

We all have an opportunity to find positive and proactive ways to utilize our time right now. I know it’s tough. I’m having my good and bad moments as well. But, try and consider what you can do to have a deeper connection with yourself and others. Make this a time for growth and self-knowledge. When life normalizes, you’ll be that much more ready to share your life with someone special.

Stay safe and healthy.