The impact of showing interest in a job interview (and in life)

One day I decided to apply the seduction tactic of the forbidden fruit.

I played the card of not showing interest in order to look more interesting. It was an interview for a position I dreamed of, and I wanted to make sure they didn't detect my anxiety and expectation to be considered.

I answered all the questions, was fluent in my interventions and shared relevant experiences. I offered ideas of how I would handle multiple situations and what I would do differently.

I left everything on the court, however, I made sure my attitude was neutral, if not slightly grim. The faint frown and a cold "see you later" at the end – without asking next steps – were my definitive seal for the company to want me in its team.

The logic of the strategy was obvious: my perceived lack of interest would not only increase their desire to select me but would raise the level of the offer to arouse my enthusiasm and increase my chances of accepting.

That night I slept peacefully. The next day I was unable to hide my Machiavellian smile. I made sure I had my cell phone available to receive at any time the call from the Headhunter letting me know what was next or, more likely, the direct call from the company with a job offer.

I began to plan my letter of resignation and farewell speech as an artist who goes to an award ceremony to accept a recognition that has not yet been announced would.

That day, interestingly, they didn't call me. I understood that there could be administrative procedures that took additional time. As the days passed and my mind dove into the new opportunity, my heart longed for that role with greater intensity. Of course, it was not in my plans to call to find out about the process because it would go in direct conflict with my brilliant strategy of getting them enamored of my mysterious indifference.

Showing desire and uncovering my interest would make my aspiration fall like a house of cards.

Three weeks later the silence was killing me. Had there been an error? Had something happened to the supervisor of the position? Had they stopped the process or selected an internal candidate?

Had they lost my contact number, name, email and Linkedin profile?

I stripped myself of all dignity and called the Headhunter Analyst who had coordinated the process. I asked her if there were any news. With a slow voice and a hint of surprise she told me: "The process has not been closed yet, Juan Pablo. The plan is to make the offer to the last candidate tomorrow." She paused and while I was still recovering, she said something even more disconcerting: "To be frank, I am very struck by your call. The VP really liked your profile and experience, but she discarded you because of your evident lack of interest."

My performance in the interview had been a masterpiece. My strategy, a resounding failure.

At that moment I passed the helm from the brain to the heart and from the depths of my soul I said: "I only ask you for one big favor: let her know that I am very interested and that I would love to work with her. Please help me send her this message before it's too late."

The drama was Hollywoodesque. But the situation warranted it.

"I will do my best, although you have to know that there is only one opportunity for a first impression," she told me with an air of discouragement...

With my heart still beating rapidly for having self-sabotaged my opportunity, after 15 minutes I received a call that gave me back a dash of hope. It was the Headhunter Partner who spoke to me with a different tone: "Juan Pablo, we are glad that your interest in the position has been clarified. We have spoken to our client and – as an exception – she is interested in meeting you again early tomorrow."

This was a second chance that is very rarely granted.

The next day's conversation lasted minutes. I hardly let the VP speak because I took the time to be explicit in my interest in the role and my desire to seize the opportunity. My attitude was warm, nervous, enthusiastic, and perhaps a little clumsy. But above all, it was authentic and reflected what my heart felt.

That same afternoon I received an offer.

Although in my days of arrogance I had planned a whole strategy to negotiate the salary, the offer and specific benefits became secondary. I was happy to have been selected for a challenge that would make me grow and learn, as indeed it did.

This is how life taught me that when we want something we must play to win, showing our desire explicitly, with pride and dignity. With verbal and non-verbal language. With words, emotions, and actions. Showing interest not only ensures that an opportunity is not lost due to apathy, but, on the contrary, creates the conditions to connect on an emotional level and give visibility of our energy and passion.

The best tactic of seduction when we want something is not to make ourselves desired. It is to desire that something and communicate it with authenticity and clarity.

Do you agree? ??