The impact of Long Covid .

The little line in this photo was anything but positive, instead it heralded a change in my life that I could never have envisaged.

In December 2021 I tested positive for Covid.?I contracted the virus while caring for my elderly Mum who also had it.?By New Years Day I had lost smell and taste, I was overwhelmed with fatigue, had a low oxygen count, low blood pressure, double vision, migraine intensity headaches and loss of executive function (brain fog), loss of short term memory and zero concentration.?I stopped working and rested waiting for the storm to pass.?I thought I’d be back in work within the month.?Yet by the end of the month I couldn’t drive a car. From there symptoms intensified and I stopped eating and functioning, losing some 22Kg in weight.?My work (my business) was my life, but by that stage I couldn’t even complete the basics of everyday living as the fatigue and brain fog were crippling and I went on sick leave.

In Mid-March 2022 my mother and I caught the virus again and she passed away two weeks later.?

I then thought, right, that’s it, it's time to fight my way back. I’ve always been a fighter.?I pushed myself further every day in April - in every way.?Walking further and faster each day - even if it was only 200m.?Taking on more tasks at work - still a very small part of what I normally would have done.?I tried doing more - like reading books or articles each day.?And I learned a very hard lesson.?You can’t exercise, work or think your way out of Long Covid.?You make everything worse.?By May I had a total collapse and fully stepped away from the business, from life.?It was the hardest thing I have ever done.?But it was the only thing I could do.

I reduced my horizons to my home and family.?I thought only of the here and now and let each day take care of itself.?I forced myself to rest. Not read, not think, not do. Just be.?And there you sit.?Life goes on around you while you live it with the volume turned way down. Doctor visits, hospital appointments and CT scans come and go.?

In July I caught the virus for the 3rd time in 6 months and given the state of my immune system it was hardly a surprise, but it did push any hope for recovery further back. I realised then that there is no magic pill, no switch that will be found and flicked, no wishful thinking would solve it. It was a lonely place and a solitary realisation. It was going to be a grind.?It was going to take much longer than I imagined. And the illness itself had changed me.?I just knew then that I would never be the same person again.

When not working in the creative industries I have been a volunteer crewman on a Lifeboat for 20 years.?We are taught to look out for ‘warning waves’ - that wave in a set that is different than the rest.?It is generally a harbinger of a deteriorating change in conditions. When you experience it you know you need to adjust your course and speed.?Long Covid was my warning wave.?I therefore took the decision to step down from the industry, business and work that I love to focus on recovery first, then chart a new course thereafter.?

For 25 years the business has been my life and what has defined me as a person; I will be forever grateful for all of the experiences I have had and the people I have worked alongside, the brightest and the best, but I was in no condition to carry on.

Long Covid is a twilight zone of ill-defined physiological symptoms that can have a massive impact on your physical and mental wellbeing. According to the ONS & The Lancet (Sept 2022) there are more than 2 million people in the UK & Ireland currently suffering Long Covid - and it's a huge spectrum of conditions and ages impacted.?It looks to be a chronic condition for some and others will have a complete recovery.?I started to recover in October - ten months from initial infection.?Progress is slow, but it is progress.?It isn’t linear and there are days that morphs into weeks where you are pulled down by inflammation and infection.?But I have now what I lost sight of mid year - hope. I believe it is the only medicine any of us need in difficult times.?

I’ve therefore written this post for two reasons. Firstly, to reach out to my network, and by extension into yours, to anyone that is suffering from Long Covid and just needs someone to talk to, some support, or guidance. Long Covid is a lonely place - you can’t really comprehend it unless you are in it, or been through it. I’ve been there and truly know how you feel and know the importance of HOPE in recovery.?Direct message me if you’d just like to chat, or if you believe I can help.?

Secondly, due to the nature of the illness I never got to say goodbye or thank you to so many people.?To colleagues and clients, past and present, thank you for your support, for your guidance, for your friendship.?It was one hell of a ride. You are very special people, brilliant at what you do, and I’ve had the absolute privilege of getting to know each of you and being part of your lives. I will never forget you and I hope to see you sometime soon.

Until then I wish you all a happy and healthy Christmas and a joyous New Year.?