Impact & Leadership: You’re forgetting your power

I have something to confess… my life buckets have never felt so full.

It’s absolutely fucking joyous that I can finally say – after so, so, so many years – that I’m more capable of setting the boundaries I need, to give myself the time and space necessary to lead a life I’m proud of.

Am I getting ahead of myself here? Maybe a little.

What the hell even is a life bucket? Glad you asked.

Let me take you on a quick run-through of how re-allocating my energy has led me to having so much more of it…?

And how, hopefully, all of this talking and learning and sharing can push another boundary-phobic, burnt-out workaholic, someone who’s in a situation like I was, to do the same.

The “5 Life Buckets” and the dangers of running on empty

It’s nothing new for me to tell you that I was on the brink of a collapse before I took my time off.?

Exhausted, irritable, taking on more projects than I could handle: work had become the only thing I focused my attention, energy, and care on.

And it was starting to take a toll on all of the other aspects of my life that needed a little TLC but were being left all the way in the back of my mind.

• “I just don’t have time!”
• “Sorry, I need to cancel our dinner…”
• “If I don’t take this project on, they’ll never call me again…”
• “I haven’t texted them in a while, but they understand I’m just too busy…”

I kept making excuses for myself and my shitty behavior. And I kept emptying my buckets, only to keep my “work bucket” full.

I’ve talked about the idea of “life buckets” in the past, but here’s a quick refresher for those new enquiring minds…

Our life is made up of 5 distinct buckets (at least that’s how I categorize them): a personal life bucket, an emotional life bucket, a mental life bucket, a social life bucket, a general life bucket, and a work-life bucket.

The idea is that all of these buckets should be filled in a way that makes a person happy and balanced.?

The trouble – especially for people like me – is that asking us to fill our buckets accordingly is a tough fucking job. And it lead me to overfill my work bucket while I ignored everything else… and that shit took a toll on me.

I was taught at a young age that my “work bucket” was the most important bucket in my life and needed to be prioritized above all else. This belief was then reinforced in all jobs that I had, carried into my business and consulting work, and in Western work culture and you bet… capitalism.

It was only until I “forcefully” detached myself, my identity, and my worth from the work that I do, that I could finally see how horribly I’d been neglecting all my other buckets.?

I knew then that something had to change.

So I carved out time and space – two months of it, to be exact – to fill up all of my other life buckets until I felt happy again, well-rested again, joyful again. I saw friends, I took trips, I spent time with my partner, I studied for my Spanish citizenship exam…

Slowly, things started to fall into place. This helped me realize that I could still maintain a full-enough work bucket without the need to sacrifice everything else in its place.

And that has made all the difference.

But I’m not writing this to simply gloat about how good it felt to pause, reflect, and prioritize – that’s not what this is about.

I understand the privilege behind this “experiment” and the fact that not everyone can take two months off from work. I’m fully aware of that.

However, the important thing here is understanding the importance of being a leader – like myself, and like some of you reading this – and having this space and time to analyze what I can do to lead, train, and teach better.

“Power is all about impact…”

I’m not going to be shy about it: the work I do is about creating impact.

But this can’t be any type of impact… I have to be intentional about it.?

For me, intentional impact is about creating spaces for myself where I have more access to systemic power. I want to use that power to reduce harm and create substantial change -this looks like being a program director, orchestrator, or program designer.

This impact (or change) can’t be achieved if I don’t set boundaries for my time, energy, and efforts.

Maintaining my “new” boundaries, however, allows me to do exactly that.?

It gives me…?

• Time to process what I’m working through
• Space to take a step back and see what that impact might look like to others
• And energy to keep going

But only after taking time to NOT “go, go, go”.

Maintenance and boundaries also mean that I get to do more (read deeper)? work with an even bigger impact. Sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out…

Staying firm within my boundaries helps me choose projects more carefully – dare I say… better? – and it has granted me the opportunity to not just use my voice in individual training interventions, but it’s also given me access to influence the system in a much bigger, broader, and, hopefully, more powerful way.

And why do I even want this access and influence??

Because having a platform means I get to bring different voices, perspectives, and realities that we – as a collective society, led blindly by patriarchal, Western-centric views – have been unconsciously ignoring for way too fucking long.

With this access to power, I get to be loud.?

I get to say shit when I want to say it.?

And I get to make people think, look within themselves, and try again.

In short, I get to influence systems so that they finally begin to distribute power and resources better and reduce harm.

And here’s a little message for the folx who are reading this and are leaders - people who also have access to this power - YOU can influence systems, distribute power, and reduce harm, too. Sometimes, we forget about the power that we also hold (or sometimes we shy away from and neglect that power).

Are you aware of the power you hold?

Here’s a hard truth: one of the biggest ways we all usually fuck up is often by not recognizing or accepting the power that we hold and have access to.

We try to “do it all” instead of being intentional with the spaces and places where our power and influence are most needed.

And we try our hand at everything, instead of focusing on where we can use our power better for the greater good of ourselves and all those around us.

Next time you feel like this is happening, take a moment to stop, think, and answer the question:

“I’m in this space at the moment… what can I do with it?”

If you’re looking for actionable steps, here’s an activity I recommend to help you shift your focus:

This week – or whenever, really – try removing something from your plate that you believe isn’t making the biggest impact. Personal or professional, choose something and either hand it off or simply stop doing it.

Then, look to add something else to your plate that requires quality and attention – and can make the most impact in your life and/or the life of others.

Then, if you’re comfortable, come back and share your experience with me. I’m always eager to read how my community on LinkedIn is taking steps to be more intentional and impactful.

After all, it helps me continue to do the same, too.

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