The Impact of a Compliment

Shared in the Georgia Senior Living Association weekly Connect e/m 3/3/23

This week someone sent me a text that I wasn’t expecting. It had one purpose:

A compliment.

That’s it. It was nothing more than digital words to tell me that they noticed something about me, appreciated it, and wanted me to know too.?It MADE. MY. DAY. The power of words is far greater than the credit we give it.?

And compliments? They go much further than you know.

The words I read gave me a moment to capture joy and shifted my momentary perspective of myself and my abilities. It had nothing to do with my physical being (although someone at the Capitol complimented my eyeshadow yesterday, which also gave me joy). This compliment had everything to do with my ability. And do you know what? I needed that shift – at that moment, I needed to hear that someone saw what I was doing and appreciated it – appreciated me.??

Please do not read this email as me fishing for compliments. This email is me here reminding you that you can pour into the people around you just by noticing them. It’s easy to walk our halls and see people doing their jobs and not be phased one bit. Seriously, they’re doing their job – why compliment them? Let me tell you why.

First, compliments tell the receiver that not only do you see them but that the work they do is valued.?Research published in the Journal of Hospitality Management indicates that positive feedback mitigates the adverse effects of stress on employee performance.?Something we are all trying to overcome.?Words as simple as, “this looks really nice” about a flyer, or. . .??

“I appreciate how you handled that situation.”

“You have the best tone when talking to Mr. Smith.”

“You carry yourself with confidence.”

“The team thrives on your jovial attitude after 3 PM.”

“I know cleaning that room is not always easy, but when you’re done, I always feel like it looks like the model.”

. . .can make a big difference. These are surface-level, but you get the gist. As a leader, just by saying something, you give value to an employee and the work that they are doing.??

This is true about complimenting “up” too. Try it out. Tell your upline how much you value the work they put into something – it will shock their socks off, but it will also translate into “I value the work that you do.”

Research in behavior sciences spends a lot of time in the world of ownership. Current conversations indicate that receiving compliments encourages employees to dig in and become owners of their environments. We know that when someone identifies as a valued group member, when they are an owner, their confidence and commitment level change. Employees that feel they are contributing to and are part of something bigger have a lower turnover rate than those just showing up for work, no matter how good they are at it. A National Institute for Physiological Sciences professor found that receiving a compliment can produce the same effect in your brain as receiving unexpected money. So, your compliment may not receive the same reaction that Oprah did when “You get a car.?And you get a car!” was offered; however, it can create joy, ownership, and trust. “Wow, good job.” It can go far for a person and for your company.

Speaking of trust, compliments can change an employee’s perception of YOU. You change from an observer to an active participant when you tell someone you see them, recognize what they do, and value it.?They trust you have their best in mind.?They trust that you may listen when they have more to say and believe you are FOR them (flashback to the 2022 GSLA Conference Keynote, Jeff Henderson). By appreciating and respecting others, we become agents of their reciprocated appreciation. Your quick compliment aids in establishing an organizational culture in which employees and managers support one another.

Finally, complimenting others makes you feel good. If nothing else, be selfish. Let the endorphins from complimenting others drive you to be a better leader. You will feel better and leave a positive impact on others. You have practiced noticing details and thinking on your feet. And in some cases, you are experiencing leadership growth because you have been pulled far out of your comfort zone.

You may think that none of this was for you – but it all was. Why? Because research released in Harvard Business Review (Feb 2021) indicates that nearly 90% of people believe they should complement each other more often, yet only about 50% of people will act on it.??

What a different world this would be if more text messages were sent just to say?I notice you, I appreciate you, and I wanted you to know.