THE IMPACT OF AN AVERAGE GUY: A Moment of Personal Reflection from over the years.

As I undertook the Master of Peace and Conflict Studies program at Conrad Grebel College University (University of Waterloo) at the time (2012 – 2017), one question I asked myself was what skills and knowledge would be transferable from my business experience and what “impact” might I have in applying this experience to my new learning. Here I am in 2024, working on my Professional Master of Education at Queen’s University and wondering about the same question.

As I wrote this reflection in 2018, there was U.S. President Donald Trump and fake news; we laid Senator John McCain, Neil Simon, and Aretha Franklin to rest, all of whom have had an impact, positive and negative, on the world. Justin Trudeau was (and still is) Prime Minister, and Doug Ford was the Premier of Ontario (and still is); my children were graduating from university and starting in the workforce. I had just left a long career in retail…….talk about change! In 2024, as I update this reflection, the US is heading into another election with former President Donald Trump and more fake news; we laid to rest Jimmy Buffett, Toby Keith, Willie Mays, Dr. Ruth and activist Faith Ringgold, all of whom had an impact; I am teaching at Conestoga College, still dealing with cancer, my uncle just passed away, my son just got married, and my daughter engaged…..talk about change! This proves that change is one constant in our lives and will happen with or without us.

Through this change, I have realized I will never make a great discovery, be a social entrepreneur, or even a politician. Maybe I listened to too many people telling me I was an average guy. In this moment of introspection, as I turn 65 years old, I decided to complete this reflection that I started six (6) years ago as, in my opinion, these reflections hold today and stand the test of time!

“Ask yourself how old you would be if you didn’t know the day you were born?" Toby Keith from the song “Don't Let the Old Man In.”

As part of knowledge sharing and having an impact, here are lessons learned that resonated with me: ten thoughts from an average guy; these may not be original thoughts, but nonetheless, they resonated with me, and I hope one may resonate with you and have an impact.

1.?As Mark Twain and Grant Allen posed, do not let your education get in the way of learning. Your education is just one story, and your life will be the whole of many stories. While education is necessary, the theory in books is simply someone’s story of how they view life. We must decide which lessons to preserve. The ability to learn from each story you are told from your education, your life's interactions, reactions, actions, and happy and sad moments is how we learn from life experiences. We will learn most things through experience. No one story is absolute. How you learn from and apply the experiences, knowledge, skills, and wisdom of your life stories will make an impact. Keep your mind open to everything and attached to nothing.

2. There is a saying, "Show me your friends, and I will tell you who you are.” Attributed most often to motivational speaker Jim Rohn, he suggests we are the average of the five (5) people we spend the most time with. Whether you believe this or not, I think the general message is to find mentors, coaches, professors & confidants; surround yourself with supporting family and friends who will drive you to be better than average, lift you up, not drag you down; fly with dreamers, not drainers. As Jim Collins said, “People are not your greatest asset; the right people are.” Raise your average.

3.?You will build a team by surrounding yourself with the right people (see point 2). Contrary to the idea that there is no “I” in the team, a team has many. You as an individual “I” and your life experience plus the “I” of many other individuals and their life experiences. The opportunity is to learn from and leverage the strength of each. Measure your team members by the size of their hearts, not the size of their heads and treat everyone you meet with respect regardless of their position, status, or lot in life.

4.?I have yet to see world domination come about as a team of one (1) and suspect it would be a short-lived experiment. You will have to swim with many sharks throughout your life. Stand your ground. Do not show weakness; stay positive, and do not back down. Stand your ground and remain true to your values!

5. If you reach your lowest point, what you think is your darkest day, there are clues to success all around you that will help provide the answers you need to break free. Look to your last hurdle and listen to your inner voice as an excellent place to start. You have surrounded yourself with the right people (see points 2 & 3), so do not be afraid to ask for help. This is not a sign of weakness but the strength of self-awareness. Ecclesiastes 3:1 explains it best, “There are times and seasons for everything. Wherever life puts you, plow the ground, plant the seed, water the seed, and wait for the harvest.”

6. Start your day with small wins and build on them throughout the day – the week – and the month. The small things matter; how will you handle the big things if you cannot get the small things right? ?Aristotle suggested, “We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” ?You do not need to focus on huge things; you need an eye on the big picture and build a habit of excellence.

?7.?Progress by failing forward. You do not need to worry so much about being a change agent, as change will happen with or without you; you only need to look at the world around you today. What you need to be is a leader who makes progress. If you progress and the world progresses around you, you have gone nowhere. Michelangelo said, “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.”

8.?To make progress, you will have to take risks, and risks can mean failure, and failure can mean learning, and learning can lead to leadership. Feel free to dive in headfirst. It is only possible to live by failing at something; if you have not failed, you have not lived.; if you do not take risks, you will fail by default. Being afraid is natural; do not let the fear stop you from breaking away from the safety of the average.

9. In our world of technological advances, machine learning, artificial intelligence, and what some refer to as the 4th industrial revolution, you need to be cautious of the seduction of technological changes. Oddly enough, our imagination is one of the tremendous human capacities above technology. Your innovation may come in the form of simply imagining that which is not today as a transformative tool that allows you the power to relate more with the human experience, your human friends and family,

10.?Finally, you will live your life story by the character you are and, more importantly, the character you build, which will be your personal legacy. Your reputation is someone else’s story of you. Your character you own, do not confuse the two. Trust information with imagination and ask questions to learn……to understand.

We all show up each day with purpose. The question is, what is the impact of our purpose? The impact is not defined by your gender, race, religious status, age, ethnicity, social status or orientation, and struggles apply equally to all. You can define impact as the power of one person, the power of what is possible.

As I consider my impact, I reflect on the people I have met over the years. I went to that reliable source of information, Google, and asked, “How many people do we influence in our lifetime?” Naturally, there was a range of answers, a high of 80,000 (https://everdays.com/blog/many-people-impact-lifetime/) to a low of 10,000 for an introvert like myself (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/artificial-maturity/201402/is-everyone-leader).

A Personal Vision Statement: “I dare to create a future where my family thrives; my collective efforts strengthen the communities I engage with, and I contribute to a better world for future generations. Through lifelong learning and knowledge sharing, I aspire to leave a lasting impact.”

I hope the sum of the 10,000 positive impacts and the interactions I have will be my greatest impact story of an average guy.

?Original draft September 10, 2018; Updated September 10, 2024