Immigration

Immigration, especially for someone in their mid-40s with children, is far more than just a geographical change—it’s a transformative life experience. Uprooting your family and stepping away from well-established connections into unfamiliar terrain requires tremendous resilience. Adjusting to a new country, grappling with its unique gestures, slang, and cultural nuances can be disorienting. For someone who has led with confidence in their own environment, entering the unknown feels like an enormous gamble. It’s not merely about relocation; it’s about relinquishing relationships, networks, and the comfort built over years, all for a fresh start.

I’ve navigated this path several times—moving cities within a country, relocating internationally twice—each time balancing professional responsibilities with personal needs. One moment remains etched in my memory: I had to fly back overnight from the Philippines to care for my father after he suffered a brain hemorrhage. Life’s most critical decisions are often made without the luxury of rational planning.

Starting afresh in a new country comes with challenges—understanding entrenched norms, adapting to different social codes, and embracing a new reality. Ultimately, though, success is defined by relationships. Some will embrace and support you, while others may, perhaps out of ignorance, reject you because you don’t fit their mold. In those moments, it’s essential to show up daily, become a better version of yourself, and set an example for your children. It’s about tackling the obstacles as a family, letting them witness and contribute to the journey.

Relocating to the U.S. at this stage in life, with children transitioning through crucial phases, has brought its own set of hurdles. I vividly remember a heated exchange with my elder son that revealed much more than I anticipated. We’ve always been strict about screen time, and he had exceeded his limit. Frustrated, I called him out, only to be met with a response that stopped me in my tracks: “Dad, do you realize I left all my friends behind? It’s been hard making new ones. I don’t fully understand the ‘brown boys club,’ but that’s where I’ve ended up.” It was a stark reminder of how deeply our move impacted him. That conversation led us, as a family, to revisit the ‘why’ behind our decision. Instead of assigning blame, understanding our shared purpose became the foundation that strengthened us.

I’m fortunate to have a solid network of friends who regularly check in—not just on work but on how my family is adjusting. For first-generation immigrants, the struggle to adapt, fit in, and continuously prove oneself can be exhausting. But it’s okay to stumble. What truly matters is showing up consistently for those who believe in you—your family, your mentors, and the purpose driving you forward. Even a simple, thoughtful check-in can have an incredible impact. Instead of judgment, empathy and understanding go a long way. I am deeply grateful to the mentors, peers, and team members who extend this support, knowingly or unknowingly.

In my previous role at Optum India, I led the sports committee, driving collaboration and team spirit, and spearheading the Hyderabad sports committee and marathon participation with India team for six consecutive years. After relocating to the U.S., balancing family demands made it challenging to maintain that routine. However, after four years, I’ve reconnected with my passion for running. I cherish my solo long runs—sessions that now stretch up to 2.5 to 3 hours. What’s most rewarding is that my heart is in sync with me; I can maintain my MAF rate at 9:30 with a 135 HRM, and my resting heart rate is back to 38-45 bpm. I can breathe deeply again, a testament to the discipline and perseverance that guide me.

Now, I’m eager to pay it forward. It’s often in the darkest moments that the brightest stars emerge. I’m here to help, to listen, and to support in any way I can.