Immeasurable Motivation

I remember getting frustrated while at the same time amazed while playing tops because of the kinds of tops my friends used and spinned. They all came in almost the same sizes but their toy's performance varies widely. Some tops could turn so serenely that someone might wonder how they were able to made it while my top which was made by my father looks chaotic when it spins, earning the nickname "Karag" (chaos). Me and my friends during our elementary days used to play tops against each other and compete who could hit someone's top and punch a deep hole into the enemy's toy. There was a forbidden top dubbed the golf top because the body of this top is made of golf ball and it's nail is forcefully hammered toward its center, making it virtually unbreakable and impossible to land a hole in it. Moreover, this golf ball top could still spin even if it hits a wall many times or the soil is fine enough that most ordinary wooded tops would cease to turn immediately and get burried in the soil and the things that could make these hardy golf tops spins are its great angular momentum and its smooth surface (even if it has tiny depressions on it). I remember seeing somebody made the mistake of spinning these demons and instead it was accidentally thown while he was preparing to spin it but still his golf ball top managed to spin even if it has hit the house's wall many time already, leaving us in amusement.

All of us wanted to be that golf ball top. All of us wanted to be that resilient in the?midst of calamities we face physically or psychologically, reliable even if we got battered by different circumstances and people and become strong because we need to defeat those problems that ordinarily would put us into miserability and despondence if we didn't act in the right time. But most of us are just like the ordinary wooden tops because we crack ourselves when we encounter problems that are very tough to crack and instead, we're the ones who would crack due to pressure; we could barely function if we are surrounded be challenging problems just like a wooden top that get buried in soil and get stuck. We are also not as resilient as we thought to be because we often ended up blaming ourselves whatever the circumstances that put us into our knees.

No matter how hard we try to avoid those problems but we often ended up facing them head - on just like those concrete walls that our tops would hit if we start spinning and moving into directions toward potential success. Either we the top ourselves are the problem because we try to act in unnatural and uncomfortable way that eventually we will face such obstacles in life. If you want to have something you never had, you have to do something you've never done. But it isn't that easy or straightforward as changing yourself in order to attain your goals. It is even perfectly fine if you don't have any plan in your head because pretty sure yuo could still achieve it even if you are barely thinking about your strategies and you just work on what you could find there along the way. Who knows, you might have been able to attain your goals even if you didn't focused on them. I barely strategize on how I would reach my goals and oftentimes I don't have a plan on how I would achieve them but still I have achieved them through brute force and a bit amount of deliberate practices, even if it means undergoing ourselves in in some weird, uncomfortable and sometimes frustrating actions that no wonder I could share something about my experiences that would make whoever listening to me to scratch their heads and offer me painfully obvious solutions to my problems, which is becoming more frustrating when you realize that those straightforward solutions wouldn't cut it for me. Perhaps it might be the norm to receive and earful from different people when you will do something weird, unusual or getting yourself hurt physically or mentally in order to rise ourselves from the bottoms of despair and just let those hurts barrage into you and get used to it. Even if we fail to achieve something, at least we are more than willing to share about our experiences and frustrations that would make them laugh. At least we tried and have those weird experiences that we are proud to share to others and be the life of the party. Whenever I would try my best to get something or achieve a goal, too many weird things would happen with too many failures too! On the other hand, I wanna see those weird moments that will come to me when I will straighten up.

And that is some sort of immeasurable motivation!