I'm Wild Again... Beguiled Again...

A simpering, whimpering child again -
Bewitched, bothered & bewildered am I...

Do other people get that song stuck in their heads? The song, perfected by Ella Fitzgerald, refers to that feeling when you meet someone who makes your legs feel like jelly with the first kiss*. I especially like the beginning of the song, the introduction that few newer versions include:

After one whole quart of brandy, like a daisy I'm awake!
With no Bromo Seltzer handy, I don't even shake.
Men are not a new sensation, I've done pretty well I think.
But this half-pint imitation put me on the blink!

I'm feeling like that today but it has nothing to do with a first kiss. It's the feeling like I'm just on the edge of something new, an adventure I can't possibly predict. It started a few days ago when I took our older son out driving. He has to have a certain number of hours of accompanied driving time before he can take the driver's license test. We decided to make a marathon event out of the day, cramming in at least six hours of drive time.

As he down-shifted (yes, we own a standard) to push our little Subaru up MacDonald Pass in central Montana, I could see he was holding his breath. I reminded him to breathe - and realized I was pretty tense and doing some breath-holding myself. We turned a wide curve and the view opened up to the left, an incredible look back down toward our little city, through the canyon and dense forest, reminding me why they call this Big Sky Country. When we were almost to the top, he relaxed enough to string a sentence together to describe his thoughts.

This makes me nervous, mom. Driving on the highway over a mountain pass is pretty scary.

Suddenly, detailed memories of youthful road trips flashed through my mind. A celebratory unplanned drive from Colorado Springs to Mesquite, Nevada with my younger sister after my graduation from CSU Fort Collins, and then the harrowing return trip through Richmond, Utah in a blizzard. Driving like a wild thing on a whim from Fort Collins to Albuquerque for the International Balloon Fiesta; I had so many of these memories, it was hard to separate one trip from another.  I vividly remember the euphoric feeling of independence, freedom, and responsibility that came with a wide open road and me behind the wheel.

Isn't it cool, though, that this is the beginning of your adult independence? It's not like your bike that you can ride anywhere in town. This privilege offers you opportunities to go SO. MUCH. FARTHER.

That was the moment I felt my heart start to beat harder and faster; my knees went a little weak, just like the feelings in that song. I realized that I, too, am on the cusp of a new kind of independence, a new adventure.

As my friend Whitney Johnson said: "Disruption and desperation are closer than you think." I wouldn't say that I'm desperate, not yet anyway. But I am hitting a point when I'm ready for change. It looks like I'm heading for some changes now, thanks to a couple of my generous connections on LinkedIn. It's the feeling of wanting more, and being a little afraid of what that means; it makes me feel giddy. I can't wait to see what's next. I don't have any expectations because I don't know where this ride is going. And as another wise person wrote:

I can't say it enough: when I have zero expectations, I am always surprised how they are exceeded.

Are you feeling that giddiness in your stomach? Do you have something you are excited about - excited enough to jump in? Do you like that feeling, or does that feeling make you want to close the drapes and crawl back into bed?

*If you want to keep the positive feeling of that song in your head, don't look up the rest of the lyrics.

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About me:

I teach people how to find their stories, organize them, and share them across platforms. Learning to tell your story is the key to your success. Learning to understand your audience and make your story effective is the key to storytelling. I love people, which is why I'm devoted to helping people find better ways to connect and improve their lives by improving their storytelling skills. A skilled teacher and entertaining speaker, I offer storytelling and customer service trainings and workshops and one-to-one coaching for job seekers.