I'm on Time!

So I walked into the office of my #lifecoach - exactly on time.

4:00pm (he opens the door and invites me in…)

Him: “Hey - good to see you!”

Me: “Thanks! Sorry I’m late - oh wait, I’m right on time - it’s 4:00. So good to be here!” I walk in, moving towards my usual chair. Bag on arm, juggling notebook and water cup in one hand, using the hand with the arm holding the bag to try to pull my sunglasses off of my face. No luck, I smack myself in the face with the bag.

As I do this, I explain that, as I was getting ready to head over, a principal had called needing something right away. I knew it wouldn’t take too long, so I’d taken care of it before I left.?

Him: “Ah, I see, but did they?”

Me: “Did they, what?”?

Him: “Did they need whatever it was right away?”

Me: “Well, they said they did, so I just assumed…”

I drop my bag next to the chair and set my water down on the coffee table.

Him: “Ok, but could they maybe have waited?”

Me: “Well, maybe, but we’re work friends, so I wanted to make sure they had it right away.”

Him: “Ah - but are you?”

I turn to look at him for the first time, bag hand now free to pull off my sunglasses and put them on top of my head.?

Me: “What?”

Him: “Are you? Are you really friends? Or are you a great colleague, someone so helpful that they keep you close because they know you’ll drop everything if they ask? There’s a difference.”

I roll my eyes a bit thinking “He doesn’t get it.” He moves back to more neutral territory.

Him: “What would have happened if you’d not been there to say yes? Would they still have gotten what they needed?”?

Me: “Probably - it just would have been a bit more complicated.”

Him: “Complicated for… them?”

Me: “Yes - I can do it more easily.”

I drop keys, glasses, and notebook on the chair next to me. I turn to sit.

Him: “Ok - but you seem a bit stressed - that must not feel really good.”

Me: “True, but it wasn’t a big deal for me to do it.”?

Him: “Ah - I see…. why would it have been more complicated for them to do it?”

Me: “Well, the way the system is it's just hard for the admins to get the information they need - I know how to get to it, so it’s just easier if I do it.”

Him: “Easier for…. them?”

Me: “Yes.”

Him: “Got it.”?

As I sit I “organize” myself…. find the right page in our meeting notes, reach into my bag for my pen, put on my reading glasses. As he sits, he catches my teetering water cup as it threatens to tip off the edge of his coffee table.

Him: “You know, I’ll never be upset if you are late for our time - but I do plan for us to start at the time we have scheduled.”

Me: “Right - I know that and so work really hard to make sure I’m here on time.”

4:03 We start discussing our planned topic of the day.?

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Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about “busy as a badge of honor,” so much so that I and some amazing people are actually doing a webinar on it next month (with those who are joining me, it's going to be well worth the watch). It was when I was doing a bit of planning for it that I remembered this exchange….

And FINALLY viscerally understood one of the many messages that my coach had planted during that three minute exchange.?(We can discuss some of the others in later articles.)

There’s a world of difference between “Start” and “Here.” I thought (after thousands of meetings where I've been the waiting host or the attendee skittering in at the last possible second...) of these as descriptors:

Start: Aligned word could be "Present." Collaborative Focus. One is present, prepared, focused, attentive, respectfully recognizing the time of the other person is hugely valuable.

Here: Aligned word could be "Arrived." Self Focus. Possibly present, maybe prepared, sort of focused, intending to be attentive, unintentionally messaging that the time of the person in front of them is NOT as valuable as whatever led to showing up "on time."

That conversation was four years ago. I was today years old when I finally “got it.” Just thought you should know Kenny Weiss. I guess that sometimes it takes awhile for those we coach to stick the landing.

#leadbyexample #leadership #iwastodayyearsold #liveleadamplify #structuredshifts