I’m A Stay-At-Home Mom With Dreams Of Consulting Again. Can I Do It?

A big disclaimer:

This article could be titled “A Man Mansplains How A Stay-At-Home Mom Can Return To Consulting.” I share this because I know how this advice might come across. I’ve tried to eliminate the mansplaining and point out where I may fall short. I’m not a working mom. So I don’t know the extent of the societal sh*t you must deal with every day. I considered not publishing this piece but ultimately decided to do so (with this disclaimer). I’m interested in your thoughts on the article.

I stumbled on a post over at PrepLounge that caught my attention. Check out this anonymous post .?

Anonymous A asks:

“Hi, I am a mother of two young kids and was previously working in consulting with one of the Big 4 (lots of change management work then).

I have been slowly working my way to getting more experience in strategy consulting, but had to halt plans due to birth of my second kid a year ago. Since then, I have been a stay home mom.

As I have two young kids and not much help in the way of parents or caregivers, I am thinking that I would have to put my dreams of consulting on hold for now.”

After contemplating her possible return, she asks how best to do it.

Before addressing the how, here’s my take on her bigger question: should she pursue her consulting dreams right now?

I will never fully understand the challenges a mom returning to work faces. I’m not a mom. But I do understand that pursuing your dream is a must. If you’re thinking about possibly doing it now, then now is precisely the time to do it.

So, I encourage you to do it now!

Do it. Consider your needs?first.

I offer three suggestions centered on your needs as a whole person. My advice: recognize who you want to be, highlight how you are different, and own your fate.

Recognize the?“abyss”

Recognize who you want to be, not what society expects you to be.

My wife introduced me to Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.’s book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle . In it, Emily introduces the concept of the abyss, the huge gap between you and expected you.

It’s not your fault that you don’t meet the world’s absurd expectations. But the abyss is real. And there is an emotional weight that comes with realizing who you are will never match who the world expects you to be.

The key is to recognize the abyss. You want to be an independent consultant who needs help with the kids. Society expects you to be an associate partner, chair the school PTA, have the perfect family, and keep the perfect home. You know the abyss exists. So try your best to be yourself and not your expected you.

I’m no expert on topics like the abyss. I urge you to read Emily’s book. She puts words to the everyday experiences that women endure.

Differentiate yourself

Embrace your uniqueness because it’s a good business strategy.

The real tragedy in business is sameness. A mom returning to work isn’t like every other consultant. You can’t do the same work or keep the same schedule. I say flip that on its head. Think in the inverse.

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Continue reading at choosyconsultant.com .

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Brian Herriot runs the risk of mansplaining from his home in Alameda, Califonia, and cabin in Hazelhurst, Wisconsin. He also prepares financial freedom plans for consultants and other mid-career professionals in one-week sprints. Check out his take on a new and different kind of retirement at choosyconsultant.com .