I'm sorry.

Today is International Women's Day; a brief hiccup amidst the other 364 days of the year when much of the world marches forth without stopping to examine or challenge the inequities that still affect many women on a local and global scale.

Normally, I leverage the unique platform presented by this 100-year-old day of recognition to celebrate the phenomenal women, in my life, whose brains, beauty and brain deserve to be honoured. But, today, I'm going to do the exact opposite of celebrate; I am going to apologize.

First, and very nearly foremost, I am sorry there is significant statistical and anecdotal evidence that demonstrates women still feel compelled to excuse themselves for sharing their opinions and "taking up space".

I'm sorry that, despite our collective successes, women still see one another as direct competition for the economic, emotive and cultural security that society continues to identify with securing a masculine counterpart.

And, I am even more sorry this archaic concept of intra-sexual competition has caused me to be jealous of or hateful towards faceless, nameless and blameless women who would otherwise very likely have contributed to my life in a positive way.

I'm sorry for all the times I've apologized for being bossy or tentatively "stepped on toes" when really I've just been doing my job (rather well, if I do say so myself).

I am truly sorry for the times I haven't admitted I'm a feminist for fear it wouldn't sound sexy. And, I'm even more sorry for letting other people smear the blood, sweat and tears of a movement that earned my personhood and continues to push me forward -because I felt that correcting their prejudices would make me seem like I burn my bras.

I'm sorry to any survivor whose story I have ever doubted - even for a second - because I've allowed the fear-mongering of unfounded narratives to cloud my judgement, which is otherwise, fully informed by facts that prove false accusations are absolutely the exception and not some wicked weapon women wield against the men who have scorned them.

I am truly sorry to all the men I've wounded and failed by perpetuating really harmful stereotypes that have made it nearly impossible for you to seek the support you need to be the best versions of yourselves and contribute to humanity in the amazing ways you're absolutely capable of.

With that said, I also want to apologize, to every woman and to myself, for the times we've kept our mouths shut when we've been made to feel uncomfortable or scared because one of these broken men felt that hurting us was the best way to heal themselves.

I'm sorry to the women, young and old, who I haven't taken enough time to uplift - those who may be silently struggling with the unique stresses and pressures that shape our senses of self - or even those who just need a kind word, an opportunity to showcase their talents or a safe place to share their thoughts. I know I can and should do more because I wouldn't be half the woman I am today, if others hadn't stopped to help me along the way.

Last, but definitely not least, I am sorry that I don't understand the nuances (and big, massive differences) that differentiate my experiences from other women's. My feminism has always been one that prioritized unity, above all else, and it has taken me years to recognize that my privilege makes it nearly impossible for me to fully grasp the trials still faced by women around the world.

I am sorry that I, very frequently, rest on the laurels of, "how far we've come," when I cannot even imagine how far so many women would still have to go to access even one nth of the safety, freedom and opportunity that I operate within every single day.

Despite all these failures - of society and myself - that I am either sincerely or sarcastically sorry about, one thing I will absolutely never apologize for is being a woman. So, in honour of that, I want to wish a very hopeful and pride-filled Happy International Women's Day to all the humans whose triumphs and tribulations deserve so much more than just, "I'm sorry."

#IWD2019