I'm not popular but I know what I'm doing....

Do you care about being part of the cool crowd or are you happy to stand alone?

I've never really been a part of the coolest crowd either in school, college or work. Nothing changes, and it would appear to be the same in business. I guess it's just part of my personality. It doesn't bother me like it used to, in fact, I quite like it.

When you stand outside the coolest groups, the ones with all the noise, the voice, the opinions and the latest trends, you can take the outsider's perspective. You can wait and see whether something comes of whatever they've conjured up, which ones are worth listening to and which ones are nothing but noise.

You soon learn to be more discerning. I've been described as being intuitive and perceptive in the past by those I've worked with, but it's just years of being able to recognise patterns and detail - and from years of observing people from a safe distance.

I've always been a watcher, a listener, taking things in as an outsider, with the outsider's perspective. I think you can learn a lot about people, and this can be a distinct advantage when you run a business - who can you trust, who can you not?

Where once I would have craved popularity, I have now grown accustomed to my introverted personality, and my need to stand apart quietly rather than take centre stage. The question is - can this harm your business?

In Daniel Calciano's article "Introverts in Action: Harnessing Inner Strengths for Formative Business Relationships"

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/introverts-action-harnessing-inner-strengths-business-daniel-calciano/

He argues that although introverts can often struggle with networking and putting themselves out there, preferring to reflect and be alone, they can often thrive in business.

"Introversion: A Psychological Perspective

From a psychological standpoint, introversion is often misunderstood. The introvert-extrovert spectrum, introduced by Carl Jung, isn't about being shy or outgoing but about how individuals gain and spend energy. Introverts are energized by solitude, reflecting, and focusing on a single task, whereas extroverts are rejuvenated by socializing and variety[^1^]. This does not mean introverts are incapable of social interactions or leadership roles; they merely have different strategies and preferences."

I find that socialising and networking drain me of mental energy and can often leave me feeling overwhelmed, whereas someone more outgoing can do these things without too much concern. Naturally, when you socialise more, you gain in popularity and connections, and if you enjoy this, then all is well and good.

Calciano continues to argue that businesses need to recognise and foster this type of introversion and create a more inclusive environment. I do believe we're getting there slowly, but we still have a long way to go. Often on virtual freelancing work sessions, emphasis is given to what's known as "breakout rooms" with little choice to bail out of them. They're also often heavily subscribed with large crowds of people attending, and yes, the networking advantages probably far outweigh the cons, but I still find they're something I try to avoid unless absolutely necessary. The price I pay in overwhelm, loss of energy and fatigue is too much.

However, being more extroverted and outgoing is a little different to being popular and part of a crowd, but it does help if you know who to snuggle up to online. You do see people doing it, and it's a temptation for us all, but what you need to do is simply focus on your own business and not place too much emphasis on what other people are doing.

That's not to say you don't pay attention or listen, some communities are well worth being a part of, regardless of whether it's a closed group or an open one online where everyone can join in. Find your people. And people will always find you and want to work with you if you're a good fit.

So who are your good fit people? Or your target audience?

a) You need to define who your target audience is, so focusing on a niche is often a great way of doing this, whether it's an industry or a deliverable (web copy, emails etc.)

Know who your competition is (without being intimidated by it) and know what they offer in comparison to your offerings. Don't copy just make sure what you offer is different (what's your differentiation, your USP?).

And on the subject of uniqueness, find your unique 'thing' that speaks to your people so you're offering something different.

Always overdeliver on expectations and give them that little bit extra. They'll remember you for it.

Remember to build a brand that's as unique and as strong as you are, that is recognizable, unforgettable and trustworthy.

As far as being a part of the cool crowd is concerned, find your peers, find your people. Find those who share the same values, and similar personalities but who are different enough to pull you out of your comfort zone. Find those who have the same level of commitment and ambition to succeed and will pull you up rather than punch you down.

Yes, the cool crowd will always make their mark and be seen first, but those who like how you step up and present yourself, who love your work, and who appreciate your process and how you deliver on all your promises, will be there when it counts. Not everything that glitters is necessarily gold.

You can be golden without the shine.