I’m only loved when I’m achieving

I’m only loved when I’m achieving

Have you ever wondered what makes it so important for you to be always achieving? I have.


Growing up, the way I knew how to get attention growing up is to be great in my studies. Bringing back good results means I see the proud faces of my parents. Their smiles and acknowledgment warmed my young heart. I liked that feeling and I was determined to not let them down. It was a simple mission. Get good results, parents will be happy, I feel great.


I pushed myself very hard academically and at work. My identity is closely tied to achievement. I wasn’t aware then, that ?? ???????? ?????????? ???????????? ???????? ?? ?????? ??????????????????. I projected this upon others too. I believed that I am loved, when I am achieving.


However, this belief pushed me to do more, achieve more, and constantly fill things up on my plate. I was restless. It was never enough. No one expects this from me. It was me.


One day, I asked my husband. Will you still love me as much if I am not as successful? He looked at me dearly and say, “I did not fall for you because of your achievement. In fact, your ???????????? ?????????? attitude was what turned me off in the beginning.” It gave us a good laugh.


Since I became aware of my attachment towards achievement, I am slowly letting the ropes loosen. I start to see that this story I subconsciously carried around with me for years wasn't true. I allowed myself to be loved regardless of my achievements.


Can you take this moment to fully love yourself? Not when you get the next promotion, not when you achieve your ideal weight, not when you are doing something more meaningful for the world. Right here, right now.


You don’t have to be able to love all of yourself now. ?????? ???????? ??????? ???? ???? ?????????????? ????.

No alt text provided for this image

要查看或添加评论,请登录

TJ Lew的更多文章

  • Do you have hidden perfectionism?

    Do you have hidden perfectionism?

    Do you know what perfectionism looks like? Contrary to popular belief, perfectionism doesn’t always look like having an…

    2 条评论
  • Are you just belonging or just fitting in?

    Are you just belonging or just fitting in?

    How did you seek love and respect when you were a child? How did you make friends back then? I remember a time when I…

  • Missing something from the past?

    Missing something from the past?

    I looked at the happy faces in the convention photo of my ex-colleagues. Immediately, I feel a pang of nostalgia.

    2 条评论
  • Hack of decision making

    Hack of decision making

    I was afraid of making a few key decisions in my life. I was afraid to get pregnant, because I was concerned about…

  • How to worry less and hope more

    How to worry less and hope more

    My muscles in anticipating joy and hope are extremely weak. It’s so much easier for me to prepare for the worst.

    1 条评论
  • LinkedIn Post got viral

    LinkedIn Post got viral

    One of my LinkedIn post became viral last week. Am I surprised? Yes.

    9 条评论
  • How not to be intimidated by successful people

    How not to be intimidated by successful people

    Have you ever felt intimidated by very smart, very beautiful, very successful people who seem to be very well-spoken? I…

    2 条评论
  • Where are you in your Book?

    Where are you in your Book?

    if your life is a book, what kind of genre will you be? Are you an adventure book, a self-help book, a finance book, a…

    1 条评论
  • The secret to turning off the negative voices in your head

    The secret to turning off the negative voices in your head

    This is the secret to turning off the negative voices in your head. .

    1 条评论
  • This will help you be bold

    This will help you be bold

    I feel uncomfortable when I see people unsubscribe from my email list. Even if it’s just 1 unsubscribe.

    2 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了