I’m a newbie sailor and I don’t care

“We are finally here,” I cried out to Gordon as I hauled myself aboard our Beneteau 423 sailboat.?Imagine the moment when you watch your husband realizing his lifelong dream of owning his own sailboat. I feel a knot in my throat and tears sting my eyes as I become aware of the vastness of time, energy, and sheer determination that brought us to this moment.

But then reality sets in.?A dream is a beautiful picture in your head but actually living it is another thing all together.?

We are in a small town on the Connecticut River called Essex.?Gordon flew here two weeks ago to take delivery of the boat.?It’s been out of the water all winter, and Gordon needed to be onsite to supervise every step of the repairs and preparation needed to get “Mesmee*” ready to sail.?Raise the mast, tune the engine, and check the water, electrical, and navigation systems.?When the expert crew of Dauntless Shipyard wasn’t coming and going, Gordon was deep cleaning the kitchen, bedrooms, and heads (bathrooms), sprucing it up for my arrival.?

Our initial plan was for Gordon to sail from Essex to Sag Harbor in The Hamptons where I was spending three days with daughter Gina and her husband Art.?The three of us enjoyed hiking to Cedar Point, climbing the stairs to the top of Montauk Point lighthouse, built in 1792 and now the fourth oldest working lighthouse in the country.?We savored the delicious lobster salad at the famous LUNCH in Amagansett and treated ourselves to the unusual Mediterranean flavors at Si Si in East Hampton.?When I initially arrived at our Airbnb in The Hamptons, Gordon called to regretfully tell us that the weather was expected to degrade into rain and wind over the next four days so he would have to stay put in Essex.

That was last Thursday, now it’s the following Tuesday.?What is the first reality of living our sailing dream??The weather.?It decides whether you come or go.?It decides whether you put the sails up or just motor. Safety first is the name of the game.?So on Sunday, I take the Jitney from Sag Harbor to New York City and Gordon boards Amtrak south from Essex.?We meet on 42nd street and I throw myself into his arms.?He took a two-hour train ride just to help me with my bags and be with me on the two-hour trip back to Essex.?That’s how my husband rolls.?That’s why I call our marriage a romance novel relationship.?We do the hard things for each other.

Sailing is in Gordon’s blood, but not in mine.?I’ve been sailing exactly four times, and I’d say those experiences were both tremendous and terrible.?I grew up hiking in the mountains, and the water isn’t a place I’ve spent much time. I get seasick on cruise ships, so you can imagine the terrible part of my past sailing trips.?I wore the patch, took the pills, and put on the Sea Bands––and still spent three days either passed out or hugging the…well you know.?And then there are my overwhelming fears.?Of falling in the water, of falling over something on the dock, of being boarded by pirates, of disappointing the love of my life.?Oh, and my fear of dying, there is that one too!

Good thing I know that fear is only fantasized experiences appearing real. [At least, I’m still convincing myself of that!]

This time I’m committed to toughness, to being with my husband and watching the look of bliss on his face as he turns off the motor and raises the sail.?Of listening to nothing but the wind and turning off time.?Of responding to events as they happen, of visiting little towns and big cities along our route, of tasting the salt air and the local cuisine.?Of meeting the people who live their life by the sea.

“Why is he doing this?” my friends and family ask me.?“Don’t you know a boat is a hole in the water you throw money into?” or “The two happiest days in a sailor's life are the day he buys a boat and the day he sells it?” Like we haven’t heard this 1000 times before.?

But it doesn’t matter.?Gordon LOVES sailing, at least as much as he loves me and our family.?Why am I here, risking seasickness and facing my fears??Because it matters.?More than anything else.?And I don’t want to miss it.

We are leaving tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m.?The weather gods say calm seas and good weather conditions for the next seven days. First, we head to Port Jefferson, New York,?and then on to Manhattan, Atlantic City, and Philadelphia.?

Are we crazy??Maybe.?Scopolamine patch on, galley stocked, diesel fuel and water on board.?And an extra pound of coffee.?Cabin secure.?What do you need me to do next, Captain?

*Our boat is named Mesmee because that is how Gordon’s brother Paul, who had Downs and lived with us for ten years, pronounced Family.?When Gordon and I married, I had two children and Gordon had a daughter and Paul. We all attribute Paul for bonding six individuals into one loving connected family. Our boat is all about Mesmee.