I'm Miserable In My Marriage (How To Overcome Loneliness In Marriage)
I'm miserable in my marriage - How to overcome loneliness in marriage.?
In an unhappy marriage you'll discover that the husband, the wife, or even both aren't happy about staying married to their partner. One example would be a couple in a high conflict relationship. Another sort of unhappy marriage can be when the couple is emotionally detached from each other. If you discover yourself in a position when the marriage isn't really satisfying you might end up feeling like there's no hope for saving your relationship. Continue reading because there is always hope.
A healthy and balanced marriage has conflict. Both verbal conflict and even physical conflict may harm the marriage. Verbal expressions of conflict can include nagging, yelling, screaming, berating, and humiliating your partner. When verbal conflict gets excessive or possibly abusive it can bring about an unhappy marriage. If conflict within an unhappy marriage escalates to physical abuse, the injured person needs to immediately inform another person and look for help. There's no excuse for physical violence in a marriage.
There is generally not much conflict within an emotionally detached relationship. The husband and wife keep to themselves and don't interact with each other. You may find some nagging, but there won't be horrible arguments that you might find within a high conflict relationship. They may not even speak with each other on most days. Considering that their sex life is a reflection of the relationship, they most likely don't make love together any more.
Would you like to enjoy a happy marriage? Start by creating a list of whatever you think a happy marriage might look like. You can create a list of personality traits like faithfulness, integrity, honesty, trust, and patience. Put every last thing you desire in your relationship. Be sure you write the list on paper. The next step is to improve you. Yes, you. Are you currently the type of person who deserves and attracts somebody with all the characteristics that are on your list? For instance if you included trust in the list (and you should have), are you the kind of individual who could attract trusting individuals? One that's open, kind, and considerate of another person's feelings so that the person is comfortable being truthful with you? If you're not that type of person, it would not be unexpected if your spouse isn't also. If you appreciate this process, come up with a new list that compares to your initial list. This time, make a list of the characteristics that someone will need to ATTRACT somebody with the characteristics from the first list. Once it's done, discover ways to turn into that person.
As you make the list of how you want your relationship to be, remember these things.
Intimacy isn't about being nice to each other at all times. You do really need to share the good times and the bad times while working with problems that could cause an unhappy marriage. You'll find mountains of books that have been written about how to have a happy marriage. Why is it so tough for all of us to work it out? Marriage isn't easy, but there's plenty of advice that people can apply to our own circumstances. It's going to require a lot of effort on your part.
Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now. To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your spouse loves and adores you more than they ever has before, visit this Helpful Site.
Do You Have What it Takes to Have A Happy Marriage?
In my job as a counselor, I deal with many unhappy marriages. On average, the husband is usually reluctant to admit that he needs help while the wife is trying to drag him into my office. The male ego takes a blow when he must admit that he has a problem, that there might be something that he can't handle or hasn't the ability to deal with.
But this thinking is all wrong! There is no particular skill set one must have in order to have a happy marriage. It's not about money, talent, or intelligence. A happy marriage does not depend upon these things.
I believe that everyone is capable of having a good marriage. In fact, in the ten years I've counseled and dealt with marriages, I have yet to see one that doesn't have the potential to be happy. It is not a lack of skills, talent, or intelligence that is causing your marriage problems. It may not even be a lack of love.
The problem is that you may not have the necessary tools or knowledge to build a happy marriage. Everyone is capable! It is merely a lack of tools and knowledge. Give a couple the right knowledge and tools, and they can fix most of the issues in their marriage.
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For example, let's take a car that needs the engine overhauled. If you have neither the tools nor the knowledge, you personally can't fix it. If you have all the tools, but not the knowledge, you still can't fix it. If you have the knowledge and only a screwdriver, you won't be able to overhaul the engine. It takes both.
As a counselor and Pastor, I try to give people both the knowledge of how a happy marriage is supposed to be and the tools to achieve it. I don't think that I can actually fix anyone's marriage. I just provide the means for them to do it themselves.
You're capable, but you might just be lacking in some tools and knowledge.
GO TO A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR
Naturally I'm a bit biased in this area. And I prefer a Christian counselor over a secular one. The secular philosophy on a happy marriage is different than a Christian's. That being said, you ought to choose someone that both you and your spouse can trust and allow them to give you the right tools and knowledge.
Don't think that you'll never need advice or help. When you have an emotional stake in a marriage problem you'll not have the aptitude to see the problem clearly. It takes someone who doesn't have an emotional stake in it to give you the right perspective and direction.
Don't fear advice! The Bible teaches us that in the multitude of counselors there is safety (Proverbs 11:14). There is no shame in it and you don't have to feel inadequate or incapable. After all, if you had the right knowledge and tools, you could fix the problem yourself.
STUDY MARRIAGE
At some point, you must believe that marriage is important enough to study. I study marriage. I read books. I listen to sermons on it. I listen to lectures on it. I observe. I ask questions. I want all the resources at my disposal as possible to build my marriage.
The common mistake that most couples make is when things are going good. It is here that they relax, drop their guard, and begin to ignore the marriage. Be on a constant hunt to gain knowledge and tools.
Knowledge brings understanding and understanding brings wisdom. You don't have to be intelligent to get this. In fact, most people confuse knowledge for intelligence. If you want wisdom in your marriage, it starts with knowledge.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.
If you’re on the verge of divorce… Or if your spouse is cheating on you… Or if your marriage JUST PLAIN ISN’T WORKING… I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here