I'm In Love With Three Men at the Same Time, but One of Them Lives in a Different Country and One is Dead. Help.
Article and artwork by: Angelica Brown

I'm In Love With Three Men at the Same Time, but One of Them Lives in a Different Country and One is Dead. Help.

Navigating feelings of love for multiple individuals can be complex and emotionally challenging. Also, mourning the loss of a lover while moving on and dating is a hard thing to overcome. Throw a long-distance relationship, and that can be a recipe for a diverse love square. Here are a few suggestions to help you handle your situation:

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Understand your emotions and see where you are at while managing your relationships. Take the time to reflect on your feelings for each of these individuals. Evaluate the nature of your connection with each person and try to identify what draws you to them. This self-reflection can provide insights into your emotions and help you make decisions.

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Communication is key to healthy relationships and if you want to have an open relationship. If you are in a committed relationship with one of these men, it's essential to have open and honest communication with your partner. Discuss your feelings and concerns, expressing your need for clarity and understanding.

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See if an open relationship is for you if you have not discussed it yet. If the partner that you are with most is comfortable with it and so, are you, then you two should practice that. You should be able to enjoy your long-distance relationship if you wish. Your partner should also have the freedom to be with other people if that is what you both agree to and trust each other with.

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When it comes to your partner that has passed, there is no shame or harm in healing and mourning. Especially if it was out of nowhere, it is not that you stopped loving them at all. They were just taken from you, and you had to grow from that. While it is best to heal as much as you can before entering relationships, your partner should be understanding of the love you have for your past lover. The pain will never go away but it will subside, and you will love others. Your partners should be there to support you through this.

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Your long-distance relationship will have some emotional impact, as well. If you and your partner agree to an open relationship and are okay with your long-distance partner, that is still a difficult relationship to navigate. Especially if outside of the country. Make sure you communicate with them to see how things will go timing wise. When you can talk and how you can spend time with each other at such a great distance.

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Another thing that is necessary to do is to prioritize your commitments. Consider the commitments and responsibilities you have in each relationship. Assess whether these commitments align with your feelings and what you desire for your future. It is crucial to be fair to yourself and to all of those involved.

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Seek support when you are mourning or unsure of your situation. Sharing your thoughts and emotions with trusted friends, family, or a therapist can offer you guidance and a different perspective. They can provide emotional support and help you make sense of your feelings.

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Consider the practicalities of each relationship. Evaluate the feasibility and practical aspects of pursuing a relationship with each person. Factors such as geographic distance, the deceased person's unavailability, and compatibility should be considered when making decisions about the future.

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Focus on self-care to keep yourself sane and relaxed when stressed. Taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically is essential during this time. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-compassion, and seek personal growth. This will help you navigate your emotions and make decisions with clarity.

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Remember that ultimately, the decision is yours to make, and there might be no easy answers. Trust your instincts, be true to yourself, and consider what will bring you the most happiness and fulfillment in the long run.

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