"I’m good thanks...". My reflections on mental wellbeing and 3 simple habits I’m actively practicing

October was mental health awareness month. It got me reflecting on how well I was feeling.?How many times a day do you give the answer, ‘I’m good thanks’, when people ask? Some things have been bothering me, worrying me – some big macro things like the feeling of uncertainty with world events, and their knock-on effect; the approaching winter and people affording to keep their families warm; the impact on mortgages with interest rate increases – it's scary stuff.

On a business level I’m fortunate to talk to business leaders of most industries – banks, retailers, construction, telco’s – and listen to what's going on. How macroeconomics is impacting global supply chain, inflation, energy costs, labour shortages which is creating uncertainty and anxiety, and companies facing some big decisions. And then at home. There are always things to deal with – the different stages my kids are going through, parents getting older and there’s always jobs around the house I need to do!

So, am I really, ok? This got me thinking and reflecting. I summarise my thoughts as 3 simple things I’m actively practicing (some I’ve written about before).

The first one is optimism. I think this is such a powerful thing, such a powerful mindset to have. As an Everton fan you need it! We talk about resilience and perseverance, but I think optimism comes before both. Some people are natural optimists, I think I am some of that, I’m certainly not a pessimist. But I’ve found recently I’ve been practicing optimism – with myself, with my team at work, and with my family and friends. Optimism plays a crucial role in keeping teams motivated and on track towards a company's purpose, even when patience wears thin, and times are tough.

Gratitude. I’m talking about giving gratitude. As we look forward to Christmas, I see gratitude like presents – giving feels better than receiving presents – well it does for me. But why wait for Christmas? Think about it. Everyday someone likely does something for you - to help you. That’s teamwork. At work we have a tool where you can send someone a note of praise (Microsoft Viva Insights??). We have quarterly ‘Connects’ with your boss (think appraisals), sometimes these conversations can be robust, even tough. My boss sent me a thank you note the evening of our Connect saying ‘thank you for all your hard work and for the great conversation’. It made me feel great even though a relatively small thing. I think saying thank you, saying how much you appreciate someone for what they do or for who they are is super powerful and impactful. Just stop for a second and look around you …. family, friends work colleges, tell them how much you appreciate them, how much you love them, give more hugs, send notes and texts. Gratitude is powerful – yet often underappreciated and underutilised. When gratitude comes not only from leaders but also from team members and colleagues, it fosters teamwork and cooperation and promotes empathy and compassion. Your team are no longer just out for themselves; they instead gain a personal stake in the success of others and the team as a whole. In other posts I’ve talked about kindness and small acts of kindness, something I felt the pandemic encouraged, this is similar.

The final one is building connection, transparency, and particularly the power of checking-in. In times of uncertainty and pressure, this is important. I think about this as something you work at. It’s lifting your head up and looking around. Thinking less about yourself and thinking about others. Lead with empathy and build relationships based on trust, consistency and accountability. It’s as simple as a check-in activity at the start of a meeting to know where every member of your teams stands on an emotional level before diving into the work and helps to strengthen connection between your team. Or sometimes scrap the agenda completely and just have a check-in. You know when something is wrong or not right. You’re worried about a situation or a friend, you want to pick up the phone, but you don’t for some reason, or you’re too busy. Sound familiar? Have you ever been called by someone and they have said, “I have been thinking about you”, or, “I’m worried about you”, or just, “hey, just checking in” …how did it make you feel?

So, let’s bring it back round to mental health awareness month. I love the focus, the fact we have a whole month dedicated to it, but it should be a daily focus. In our fast-paced, high-demand environment, it’s vital we think about our own wellbeing - I love the saying ‘its ok to not be ok’. Check in with yourself and do it properly. And then look around you.

My highlight in October (apart from my birthday??), was a trip to Disneyland Paris with my wife and two girls (elder brother was on rugby tour so he escaped it) …. but I admit, I needed some optimism to go! The result was a ton of gratitude, and I found some check-in time with Tigger and Mickey! It’s okay to take a break and disconnect, even for a little while. Whether it’s a walk in a park, a gym session, laughing with friends or loved ones, or listening to your favourite music, be sure to take a few moments each day to prioritise mental health.