I'm in a fix!!!

Yes…. Let me start from the beginning…

I took my 8-year-old for a Christmas party at our local Club. There were many parents and kids at this do. The Club had made some lovely arrangements with multiple games, stalls for food, tattoos and loads of giveaways for the little ones. There was also this gentleman- the MC- with a loudspeaker in his fine attire of a red silk shirt, black waistcoat, sweating buckets (right occasion but just the wrong weather! Christmas in Mumbai ??) trying to keep the tempo of the evening going. His task was to keep the kids engaged with loads of games, quizzes and jokes. He was doing a fine job indeed.

All was well….until I started noticing some patterns… ok… so here’s the thing! Im more the exception to the rule (not necessarily a good thing)… My deal with my kids is, Im there for you when you need me (like for eg- if you are bleeding out or have been socked by someone double your size!), but otherwise you need to figure out your deal… sometimes I feel it’s a miracle, they are, the way they are!

Now, coming back to the patterns… as the games began, I saw parents egging their kids to do things beyond their natural comfort zone… telling their kids to jump more… dance more… grab more… whatever the game required… everyone wants to be a winner, wants their kids to be winners…well why not! But it left me a little unsettled…

Then came the little bending of rules…. A Clown was doing an act on stage & inviting kids selectively… so, not all kids could get on stage… this is when some parents started getting restless and I saw a few of them picking up their little ones & putting them on stage while the rest were being asked to sit in their spots. The ones who made it to the stage got some limelight, pictures and gifts while the others were asked to clap away. All this while I was standing at the sidelines and observing my son, the other kids, their parents and all this play out. Time and again, the MC (who was sweating even more now!) meaning to manage this chaos, kept asking all kids to wait their turn and promised ones who clapped the hardest would get called on stage next. So, while my kid was clapping away like his life depended on it, I saw some parents still nudging their kids towards the stage. This one kid kept telling his mom that he should not be going near the stage since the MC had asked not to crowd around the stage, but every time he came back, she kept sending him up front! Again… what is wrong some may ask… isnt that what we should do when we want something real bad!

I looked at my son again… he had kept one hand raised, in the hope to be called on stage & kept slapping his other hand on his thigh to keep the claps going! I felt a tug somewhere in my heart as I watched him, knowing he will sit in his spot and do what was asked of him… without getting his chance like many others… why? Because like many others, Im teaching him to be obedient, to be fair, to be considerate, to be correct! No prizes for that…

We see this all the time… people getting ahead by bending the rules here & there… good people…. Break the queue, jump the traffic light, push ahead to get a better seat… Im not one to judge… there have been times where I’ve picked to ask for forgiveness (never came to that thankfully) rather than permission!

My current conundrum is what should I inculcate in my kid… if I want him to be on that stage!

Leave me with your thoughts… and words of wisdom ??