"I'm fine..." Mental Health Awareness Week 2022

As we begin Mental Health Awareness Week, Karen Cross, Deputy Editor-In Chief Magazines & Supplements and the recently appointed Co-Chair of our new mental health wellbeing network ReachMind, shares her experiences and looks at what we can all do to support each other.

“I’m fine…” 

This is the stock answer so many of us give when someone asks how we are. But do we mean we are “good” fine or “not so good” fine? Or really, “not good at all” fine?

Even if the person asking is a close friend or family member, often we still hesitate to reveal if we are going through a period of poor mental wellbeing. And in the workplace we are even less likely to open up about how we genuinely feel. 

It seems that, although these days there are far more conversations around mental wellbeing, many of us still feel unable to open up about our mood in the way we would if we had any other illness. 

In a conversation at work recently, some of the reasons people voiced for this included a fear of being perceived as “weak” or not being able to cope with their work, that managers and/or colleagues wouldn’t have empathy or even that it could rule them out for future promotion. 

And yet statistics show that one in four of us will experience a mental health issue in any given year and that, at any one time, one in six working age adults are experiencing depression, anxiety or stress-related health issues. 

So if poor mental wellbeing touches most of our lives at some point, why are we reluctant to talk about it, particularly in the workplace?

I speak from experience. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since early childhood, often manageable, sometimes definitely not. Insomnia is a constant bedfellow. 

A perfect storm of events in my early thirties sent me into my darkest period. I fiercely attempted to hide it at work, not even confiding in those I was so close to that I considered them dear friends rather than colleagues. I was desperately afraid of bringing my personal demons - as I saw them - into work, the only thing that was “right” in my world at the time. 

Eventually it became impossible for those around me not to notice how unwell I had become and my manager started the conversation - and was, to my surprise, unbelievably caring and understanding. While she couldn’t heal the issues I was dealing with, having hers and the company’s support helped make my road to recovery a little less bumpy. I was lucky - at that time, almost twenty years ago now, not all businesses were so enlightened. 

I am also fortunate because I am still here; I have lost several friends.

We can all help to open discussion around mental wellbeing. Roman Kemp put it so well when he advocated the “two OK rule” when talking about mental health: “So how are you doing? But how are you doing really?” I also read - and forgive me for forgetting where - that it can help to ask people to map their mood as a weather report. Are things sunny, drizzly, cloudy, stormy, dark? Even a simple check asking someone to mark their mood on a scale of one to ten can open the conversation - and help make talking about our mental health an everyday discussion.

This was a suggestion from one of my colleagues on Reach’s newly formed mental wellbeing network, ReachMind, and our committee members now begin each meeting with a mood check-in. We have all come together from different parts of the business and it’s quickly helped us to have a closer affinity and understanding of one another. It’s a cliche, but it’s good to talk.

ReachMind launches next month, but wellbeing has long been central to employee support at Reach. Our new employee network is another pillar to add to the help already in place within the business, which includes a 24-hour helpline, one-to-one sessions with our mental health coaching partner Sanctus, Headspace subscriptions, tea and talk sessions and a team of trained mental health first aiders - all free. From our CEO Jim Mullen down, it’s made clear that employee wellbeing is at the heart of Reach, which is one of the reasons I am proud - and thankful - to work here.

While not all businesses have the scale and resources to put similar support in place - and I am painfully aware that not every person can be reached when they are in crisis - checking in on friends and colleagues can help to open conversations and ease the pathway to help and support. 

So while I’m writing this piece for Mental Health Awareness Week, my hope is we get to a place where we think and talk about our mental wellbeing every day - that of our friends, our families, our colleagues and - most importantly - our own. 

If you need to talk and don't know where to turn to, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively you can email [email protected] or visit the website to find your local branch.