I'm Not Fearless; I'm Decisive.

You've played rock, paper, scissors before, right? It's a little game people play when they can't decide on something. One or the other combination will trump the others and then the one remaining has to do "the thing" whatever "the thing" is. It's the perfect solution when you can't decide, but why leave your decisions up to chance by letting "eenie meenie miney mo" decide?

A lot of people who follow me on social media or hear me speak live will sometimes comment, "Wow, you are so fearless." The truth is, I'm not. I'm just as afraid as anyone else trying to grow a business as an entrepreneur. There are moments I'm terrified when my lead list is lean and wonder how I'll keep everything moving forward. I'm the only bread winner in my house, self-insured with a ridiculously high deductible like many of you and solely responsible for helping my son get through college without being riddled in debt as he starts his very first "real" job. And, I've got mouths to feed at my agency. People who rely on me to give them a paycheck. Believe it or not, I've had a few legitimate panic attacks... for real. When the first one happened, I thought I was having a heart attack and it scared the crap out of me. But, so is being an entrepreneur. It's scary... even for the people who appear fearless. Honestly, I don't think entrepreneurs can truly escape fear. I think it's part of the deal.

But with fear comes the ability to overcome some of it or at least, figure out workarounds that help you maneuver the fear. One of the ways I do this is by being decisive. It's something that's been part of my DNA since I was a young girl, so my workaround has been there without much effort. When I was young, I always wondered why people took so long to make decisions about things. Like whether or not to buy this car or that car... or any car for that matter. Or if they should try something, create something... even think about how much time they should give said "something" thought. I have friends today who take forever and a day to make decisions. Drives me crazy, but as an adult I understand that we are all very different including the ways in which we operate. I have found that for me, making a decision and doing it (even if it's wrong) gives me a sense of progress and accomplishment. My fear is not in whether or not my decision was the right choice. My feelings are that if it was the wrong decision, I can change it and make a different one. I am completely fine with the occasional pivot and I'm okay with being wrong. The feeling I get when I take action helps fuel my choice to decide.

Being decisive is kind of a cool and empowering trait to have. For me, it allows me to cross things off my list and as an achiever, that's critical to my everyday. I think it helps that my top three strengths in StrengthsFinder 2.0 is ACHIEVER, STRATEGIC, and ACTIVATOR. Those three are the perfect storm for decisive action. Achievers need to have a daily list of lofty goals and they have to cross them off every day. Strategics tend to find the shortest distance to the answer with little effort and Activators are just that... action takers. The kiss of death for an Activator would be a work environment where they go from meeting to meeting without time to implement. Do you know your Top 5 Strengths? If not, I encourage you to get the book. Great self-insight.

Did you know that one of the common threads with successful people, regardless of their story, is their ability to be decisive? I recently read, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. He said that after studying over 500 millionaires, including Andrew Carnegie, Henry Ford, and Charles M. Schwab, he found that they shared a single quality: decisiveness. He even went so far to say that decisiveness is one of the 13 steps towards becoming rich. What?! Yep.

I don't discriminate between my personal life and my business life when it comes to being decisive. In my personal life, being a single parent forces me to stay in the decisive zone because there is no one else to bounce decisions off of when decisions need to be made. In business, not only am I decisive in my own business growth, but also with my clients. My clients need someone who is capable of making decisions because leadership and collaboration that is strong and bold ultimately keeps them moving forward at a decent pace and in the right direction. They look to me to decide, so I do because it's a way of life for me and I know they need it.

So here's the reality... sometimes you will have all the facts and sometimes you won’t, but if you are able to assess a situation and make a decision while others stand idle, you are light years ahead of those that can't decide. At the very least, you're the first out of the gate and closer to the finish line than the others waiting for the absolute right moment when the moon and stars align for them to take a step. If you are afraid of being decisive, consider this... what should set you apart is the courage to make a decision as decision is always better than indecision. Just decide. Nike had it right... Just do it! The fear will be there and I'm not sure it ever goes away. Often, you'll question whether it was the right choice, but have faith in yourself, decide, and get ready to make another decision accordingly.

Most indecision is caused by a fear of failure and uncertainty, so it requires courage to become more decisive. Courage is all about knowing our fears, placing them in an appropriate role and increasing our capability to act, all at the same time. You keep so many plates spinning already, add a courage plate! Perpetuating the crazy idea that we are supposed to remove fear from our lives can often do more harm than good, so let's accept it will be there lingering and gently move it over and make some decisions.

I'll give you a fun example of a time I was decisive MULTIPLE TIMES in a very short period of time. I'll call them out throughout the story. It was in 2011 and I was exhibiting Bye Bye Monster at the ABC Kid's Expo in Las Vegas. It was my first time at an event of that size and I felt like such a fish out of water looking down the sea of booths at all of the MAJOR brands exhibiting, too. (#1) I heard Jenny McCarthy was in the building getting ready to launch a new organic product line for children and thought to myself, "You've got one shot to get your product in front of her. Figure it out." And, that's what I did. (#2) When I found my way to where she was presenting, I didn’t realize it was for media only until I arrived, but I made the decision to walk past security as though I was a member of the media. Obviously, that decision could have gone bad. I could have been escorted out by security. Fortunately, nobody stopped me... I think due to the fact that the presentation already had started and I was last to the party. (#3) And of course... the only seat remaining was in the front row, so I took it—even though the presentation had already begun and I had to walk past all the seated listeners who stared at me as I walked by. Even Jenny looked and nodded her head as I took my seat. So embarrassing, but, I stayed focused on my goal and once the presentation wrapped and the Q&A session was over, Jenny agreed to take pictures with a handful of people. I had no idea that was an option. I figured it was a win when I made eye contact with her, but the icing on the cake was the announcement of a meet and greet and I was seated in the front row. (#4) So, I made my move and as it turned out, I was third in line. Make no mistake—I seized the moment and handed her a sample of my product. It made an impression with her and I was flown out to Los Angeles, met with her and her team, and was asked to create a private label, anti-viral spray which was included in her trade show event swag the following year. None of this would have happened if I hadn't seized the moment which required decisive action. I was sweating bullets... fear-a-blazin', but I did it... the whole time saying to myself, "What's the worst thing that could happen? Her team will throw you out?" I could deal with that.

That event was one decision after another and some risky to take (like taking the empty seat in the front versus standing in the back), but I did it and the outcome was worth all of the nausea of the moment! LOL

You've heard so many people speak of fear... how to lean into it and overcome it. But here's the deal, fear serves as a barometer as feelings and emotions are messengers; they ask for our attention and bring us information about ourselves, our world and how things are going in it... and it isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Fear educates us. It can help us find what we believe in and what we do or don’t want for ourselves or our businesses. Fear in and of itself is not a problem, but letting it rule you is. Or worse, letting it cripple you from making a move and being decisive. I mean, at some point you've got to make some decisions, so let's start now!

Running a boutique branding firm, I find that my clients gravitate towards those who provide clarity and direction. Many of the business owners who find their way to me wind up working with me because they know I will take action and get things done. They have confidence I will do what I say. Why the immediate buy in? Because they see me being decisive every day. They see me making progress and progress is growth.

Let me be clear about one very important thing. Being decisive doesn't necessarily mean that I make quick decisions. It does mean that I can structure dialogue to logically arrive at a consensus. By communicating and focusing on specific personal or business priorities no decision comes out of left field. This might sound obvious, but often lofty strategic objectives get lost in the trenches; it is not uncommon for work to stagnate or grind to a halt because no one is willing to make an important decision... again, speaking to both personal and professional decisions that need to be made!

When things get tough... and they do, I try channeling some of my early entrepreneurial spirit. However, I am a bit more seasoned now and I know you can't grow a business without taking risks and sometimes that means it is a leap of faith when I have to make a decision either on my behalf or that of my client. Does that cause my fear factor to rise? Are you kidding me?! Um, yeah. As a true Minnesotan would say, You betcha!” But here's the thing... I’m not fearless, I’m decisive.

But, what happens if you don't feel comfortable being decisive? You need to surround yourself with people who are and resources that assist you in making decisions by giving you solid black and white choices. In business, you need to decide and I get that it can be hard to know what to do especially when you get conflicting information from multiple sources. I can tell you this... I've been doing what I do for 30 years. I'm very clear on where I can be helpful and where I can't. And, one thing I'm very certain about is my ability to help small business owners create a brand for themselves that WILL set them apart from the competition.

You know your gifts so find your confidence in that knowing and continue to persevere by making decisions and don't beat yourself up if the choice was wrong. There's lots of time to change course! You've got this!!

PS - Is one of the things holding you back related to investing in your brand? Sometimes having very little budget can hold you back. If this applies to you, I might have a solution. If so, read on.

I created a digital brand school for early stage businesses to help them not only gain context so they can make informed decisions, but a platform to offer DIY solutions for many of the pieces related to creating a relevant brand. If you can't hire the swanky agency, brand school is the alternative.

You can learn more here: BRANDING FOR MOO-LAH. And I'll tell you a little secret. If in your decisive state of mind you decide to sign up, email me at [email protected] and I'll give you 50% off the retail price as my gift to you for stepping out there and gently nudging the fear that lingers. Just say, "LET'S DO THIS" in the subject line and reference this article and you'll be well on your way. See you in brand school.

“It’s better to be boldly decisive and risk being wrong than to agonize at length and be right too late.” ~Marylin Moats Kennedy