I'm a creature of habit
Wednesday 7/17/19...
I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday when I realized I haven't called home as much recently. I used to call my parents every week on my ride home from work. But now that I don't have a commute, It easily slips my mind. And it's not that I don't want to call or that I have nothing to say, my brain is just wired that way.
There are 2 main reasons for this. The first is that I overthink things and often get caught up in my own mind. It distracts me from what's going on around me or causes me to overlook things that otherwise shouldn't go unnoticed. The second is that my memory is shit. But over the years, I've learned to compensate by finding ways to overcome these challenges.
It's one of the main reasons I'm so obsessive over my morning routine - it helps keep me on track. If you go back and look at my post from last week, you can see how badly not having a typical morning fucked me up. I literally had to wash the entire day. Which means this has a significant impact on my mental and emotional state.
Another fairly obvious symptom is that I write everything down. It's the reason I have a million to-do lists all over the place. If I think of something, I write it down or else it will be forgotten.
Unless it's something I obsess over. Then I won't be able to get it out of my head until it's done. And that's where my OCD comes into play. If things aren't a certain way, it drives me bonkers. But it's always such a minor detail that serves no other purpose other than to satisfy the urge that comes over me to do something that way.
I've got problems, I know. But who doesn't? More and more I've been trying to work through these issues, but I know I can only get so far. The best thing I can do is play the cards I've been dealt.
It's the reason I've built these systems into my life or that I got through the trouble to write things down and set myself reminders. And I've even used these ticks to my advantage. You can't change who you are, but with self-awareness, you can turn weakness into strength.
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This is an entry from my personal daily journal. I recently left the 9-5 to work for myself - something I've dreamed of for as long as I can remember. It's my hope that these posts inspire anyone looking to do the same or shed some light on what this journey is really like.
- Check out my first post for more: This is for you (but mostly for me)
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Thanks for reading!
- DM