I'm concerned about my friend's business, but he hasn't sought my wisdom. Do I tell him the truth?
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I'm concerned about my friend's business, but he hasn't sought my wisdom. Do I tell him the truth?



I’m watching a friend invest a lot into his business, which I invested in. I perceive that it’s not going well but I’m not sure he sees it yet. Is it my responsibility to tell him? How do I bring it up?

-Friend and investor

Dear Friend,

It’s amazing how often we struggle to see what’s going on in front of us. I believe it’s a symptom of being so close that we don’t get perspective. But someone from the outside can come along and see it another way.

I believe you have a responsibility to share your concerns, but instead of talking at your friend and risking he may not be open to listening, focus on starting a dialogue. Using the Socratic method could be very helpful here.

Some thought-provoking questions you can ask:

  1. Is this going as you thought it would?
  2. Are you ahead or behind on your plan? Why? If you don’t know why, find out.
  3. If you are not progressing as planned, is the idea not resonating? Or is something else is holding you back from getting traction?
  4. How big is the potential market you’re addressing?
  5. Are you the first in the market? (If so, the market isn’t well developed or understood.) If not, how many other people are in that market?
  6. Is anyone a breakout already and why?
  7. How big do you think the business will get if you do everything well?
  8. Now that you are further along in building the company, is your conviction growing? Do you still believe this is what you are intended to do?

If this founder remains convicted, encourage him to double down and make it happen. Of course, the goal is to stay focused and make sure it lives up to his dreams. Since he has taken outside money, he also has an obligation to his investors and should be doing his best to get a return for them.

Finally, as both a friend and an investor, you are looking for a good outcome all around. I would ask how you can be of service. Ask him if there is anything he's struggling with and what you can do to help. See what you can offer, which will feel much better and be much more useful than just worrying.

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Every week I respond to a new question. Ask me your question in the comments section.

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Delfina Oviedo

IT Projects | DevOps | Staff Augmentation | Nearshore Outsourcing Specialist at Ancient

9 个月

??????

回复
Daniel Sibanda

Graduate Assistant @ La Salle University | Business Systems Analytics

9 个月

Yeah, yeah you must

Vivek Sundaram

Motorcycle Adventurer | Leadership & Career Coach | Empowering Individuals to Become Better Professionals and Leaders | Creating Positive Cultures & Communities

9 个月

I feel the best way to help someone is to be critical in sharing your honest observations. For example: you see your friend investing a huge amount and being stressed that he/she hasn’t seen profits- let them know “I’ve seen you in stressed and looking for lenders, with the amount of money you’ve borrowed, will you be able to repay them? What are your alternatives?” I feel most friends I’ve seen recommend options, have never gone ahead with their own dreams of doing business. Most people who advice don’t have a great reputation or a success story that precedes them. I guess where I’m going with this is - be direct in asking questions to lead your friend to think for themselves, offer advice through someone who has credibility in business and always be supportive, not necessarily optimistic in their venture. You never know when the tides turn and they become an overnight success.

Natalie C.

Leadership is more than just giving orders.

9 个月

Great advice. Not sure how the friend will respond to the conversation but it needs to be addressed. If the business is in trouble the stress of keeping quiet could cause his friend health issues. Communication is the key to helping brain storm ideas help the business owner sort out any problems in the financial plan.

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