I'm coming out - Working through cancer

In June 2019 I was officially diagnosed with stage 3 ( stage 4 is completely advanced), triple negative breast cancer with full node involvement. If you've had cancer or know of someone who has gone through the barbaric ritual of cancer treatment then you will probably understand what all that means, for those of you lucky enough to have avoided being touched by cancer then don't worry, I'll explain later but basically was bad. 

I had just pitched and landed my dream role with Gleeson recruitment group as a partnership manager having decided 15 years in Education recruitment was enough. Smile had been good to me and Katy Rees had given me more opportunities and rewards than I could have ever hoped for and when she suggested supporting me in setting up a partnership brand SLT I had grabbed the opportunity with both hands and went for it, networking with the most elite and well known people the West Midlands have to offer.

Below: Katy Rees - Director of Smile Education and Business partner, Tracy Ruddle - Director of Continuous School Improvement: BEP and me.

Meeting new inspirational people helped

However, as time went on I found myself feeling bored and exasperated by the industry itself and though SLT was going well, Education recruitment was not engaging me any more but I wanted it to be more successful before handing it back over so I kept going regardless, meeting some extremely inspirational people along the way:

The wonderfully kind Mick Waters who wrote a top selling book on Educating children in a more hands on and interesting way and had a huge impact on Education in the Midlands.

In the meantime I had met @Jason Blakey from Gleeson recruitment via the recruitment canaries, a fantastic network of local recruitment business owners set up by Dal Shoker @nayya people and Matt Collingwood @Vique and I hit it off with Jason immediately. We had a similar sense of humor and shared the same values and as time went on having attended the launch of the new offices and met and loved the other Directors I was sold that this is where I would want to work if SLT didn't pan out. 

Jason Blakey having accepted the award for recruitment Business of the year 2018 and a picture of thier newley refurbished beautiful offices. 

I needed a change

Within a few months I had decided that I needed a change and that doing something. I had fallen out of love with Education and it was affecting my mental health so I spoke with Katy about my feelings and we parted ways amicably. 

This gave me time to explore my options but I already knew where I wanted to be and after some casual chats with Jason and the other directors we identified a potential need for a business development manager but I would need to pitch the idea to the board of directors. 

And this was only half of them! The presentation could definitely have gone better but I executed it with every bit of charm, confidence and energy I could and I think for that reason I was offered an initial 6 month contract to see if the business would benefit from having someone in this role or not. There was some reservation around my coming from a public sector recruitment into private and of course I was going to have to educate myself very quickly on the inns and outs of 7 new areas of recruitment if I was going to be able to identify cross selling opportunities across the business but I didn't care, I was over the moon, excited, ecstatic. I knew that I had enough experience in relationship building and cross selling to do a decent job so I got to work immediately getting to know each division, the clients and the consultants. It was exciting and in May 2019 I bounded into work with the excitement of a student who had landed a place at the university of their choice. I loved the people who worked at Gleeson the down to earth and approachable directors, the Heads of division, the consultants and the support team were exactly my kind of people. The culture at Gleeson is amazing with a huge focus on well-being and community spirit. The offices are really impressive with creative and beautiful breakout areas and days where teams are encouraged to hot desk and mix with other divisions. I was the happiest I had been in a long time and I was starting to get some small wins and prove my ROI when it happened. 

I had previously booked a long weekend at the end of June with my partner and son and our friend and her son down in Cornwall. I remember I hadn't been feeling brilliant on the last day of our holiday and we were spending the day at Digger land ( highly recommended if you're ever down that way). The boys were on a crane being spun around and I remember my breast feeling a bit tender. I leaned in to touch it and found a lump on the upper part of my left breast and after casually mentioning it to my friend I told her I would get it checked out. 

On the journey home I got a fever and started shivering - I had to go straight to bed and the next day it was also tender under my arm. I went to the doctor the next day and within two weeks I was diagnosed with cancer. 

When I first got my diagnosis the hilariously energetic oncology surgeon told me that not only did I have an aggressive form of cancer in my left breast but that the lymph nodes under my arm were also infected. Of course the first thought that enters your head is...'if its in my lymphatic system its probably spread'. 

The oncologist then went on to explain the significance of a localised cancer which they believed mine was and a secondary cancer and all I remember was him using a map of the world to describe how the lymphatic system worked and that it was unlikely my cancer had travelled to France which was apparently good news ( there is a book in some of these anecdotes I'm sure - but I digress) but in the thick haze of all the information all I could think about thereafter was a hot baguette dipped in brie. Yum...but not.

I was to start treatment effective immediately and there were a number of appointments booked in so I would have to tell work. After telling my family this was probably the most difficult one. I was on a contract so they really had no obligation to pay me for work if I wasn't actually working and I had no income protection having recently started a new role and not sorted it out 

I had faith that they wouldn't just drop me and I knew they would be understanding as they had unfortunately recently lost one of their consultants to cancer so not only would it be hard to tell them about my diagnosis but it would be a very sensitive subject to bring up fellow work colleagues . Although I had only been there a few months I had as already build some strong relationships - especially with the operations manager @suziehughes and although she wasn't my line manager she was on the board of directors and a friend so I felt I could confide in her and she would be able to liaise with the right people - which I was glad about as at this point I was having emotional outbursts every time I told someone. Suzie was fantastic. She was understanding and asked me what I needed and how Gleeson could support me. I could have never in my wildest dreams imagined how much support I would be given. I was on a temp contract so by rights if I didn't work, then I guessed they weren't legally obliged to pay me. Without any insurance in place mine and my families fin it would have been horrendous. On the same day I was told that the Directors had decided I would continue to be paid in full until the end of my contract regardless of whether or not I was in work. I cried a lot that day mainly out of relief but also because of the kindness from 3 men I had worked with with for merely 2 months.

But I would not lie down and let cancer take over. I would start 6 months of chemotherapy through an IV once every 2 weeks and then have a week off treatment and I was told that everyone reacts differently to chemotherapy and because I was triple negative I would need maximum blasts of chemo every time and was told that most people if they can generally wont work. But that was not me. I had just landed the job of a lifetime and I wasn't giving up without a fight.

I had my hair cut short ready for the inevitable hair loss and told work I would be in the office when I could and on tired days I would be working from home which Gleeson were perfectly fine with. tried something called a cold cap which would in theory freeze the hair follicles whilst being blasted by poisen and would prevent complete hair loss. It feels like having an extremely tight freezing hat on that is pulsing through your hair. I lasted about 3 mins 10 seconds so.....I braved the shave.

Once all the main friends, family and work were told I was constantly inundated by calls, questions etc so instead I decided to start up a youtube page where I would basically log each major turning point, meds, anything medical, how I was coping so that people didnt feel worried or out of the loop. It became a bit of a wonderful thing for me as I was allowed ro just say i t once, cry about it and not repeat the same conversation over and over.

I've logged all the important moments of my journey and I've been very honest and open about how I felt through that. You'll probably get to know the real me - but be warned - there are 20 min ranting ones and 10 minute emotional ones so I wont be offended in your selection - however, I would be really grateful if you could point anyone you know going through this in the right direction the the vlog as I have had a number of positive messages telling me how helpful the videos are. By the way there are ones where I swear I'm losing my mind which should be fun.

By January 2020 Chemo was over, I had still managed to work through - Gleeson had extended my contract up until this point but I still had the next part of my journey to go. The chemo had almost eradicated the original tumor but there was still a lump to removed and I had to have a full underarm node removal which was heavy surgery. In addition I had contracted neutropenic sepsis over Christmas which meant my body had taken a real blow and was about to have to have 20 rounds of radiotherapy so Gleeson and I parted ways for now. I knew I had to focus on getting through this second part of my recovery if I was ever going to be on top form. This made me feel sad as I already felt part of the Gleeson family. I knew the business inside out and had a lot of love for the people and what they do there. They told me to get better and go back to them for possible further opportunities when I was ready. They even paid me an extra 2 months salary to keep me going. Seriously, if you ever want to work for a company that appreciates and cares about you as a person then this is the company to aim for.

Come July 2020 I was ready to get back to work. I was nearly over all treatment and this was the part where I would sell the advantage of hiring someone like me. I started getting back on LinkedIn - refreshing my skills by connecting with recruiters who have lived through the recruitment pandemic, I had really positive and uplifting conversations with @Gleesonrecruitment and my other Recruitment canary friends of course @katyrees and @steveguest who was going to help me with a plan to get back into work. I was so ready so had listed a number of amazing new skills and reasons to hire me ready to launch a huge appeal about how I had undergone serious surgery, treatment and managed to homeschool my lovely 6 year old boy during lock down.

I had come this far in a year and I lterally couldnt wait to get back to work.

I had decided that as I was coming to the end of my cancer challenge I would start up my own Instagram page dedicated to helping and supporting others going through cancer themselves or with loved ones. So I did an online course, used the contacts I already had and built my following from 103 to almost 600 in over a month and it was the best thing I ever did. Such a wonderfully supportive community out there was what I would need to give me hope it could be done. I wasn't the same person any more so a new perspective on life was needed and learnt some pretty cool marketing and online tricks along the way. I was given the all clear on the 27th July 2020 - almost a year to the day of being given my very first diagnosis. As a family we were overjoyed. Despite having some severe pain in my lower back and a shadow that had been on the base of my spine since Jan 2019 - I was told there had been no changes and as far as my oncologist was concerned, we were all clear which was a fantastic result.

Of course we had a hot tub party with wine to celebrate and I was loving being an Instagram Queen.

And then it happened. A week later I was told to go to A&E with a highs temp and pains in my legs and after a further MRI scan was told the cancer had spread to my spine. I now have stage 4 Metastatic cancer in my spine and further investigations revealed that it was actually top tp bottom and that as my cancer didn't possess a protein that allows for me to have immunotherapy to extend my life. The only options I have now is to have radiotherapy to reduce the pain in my back and chemotherapy to stop the cancer from spreading further. But its basically a life sentence. My original prognosis is 3 - 18 months but that all depends on my reaction to the treatment.

I am currently temporarily residing in a Marie Curie hospice where they are to trying to find a way to manage the pain in my back and legs. There are nights where I can barely move and until the treatment starts next week then all I can do is wait but in the meantime I refuse to allow this illness to be terminal and with me having not worked since January, we wouldn't be able to afford any clinical or revolutionary treatment that may come up our mission to go viral with this. I have a 6 year old who has the most special bond with me, a partner who loves me more than he could ever tell me and friends and family who know I have more to give.

So I'm asking this of you - my powerful, knowledgeable and well connected friends - can you help me get this viral? I know there is a Tony Stark (sorry if you are a marvel unknown/novice) or a friend of Richard Branson, who I expect has some sort of experimental lab somewhere hidden on his out there on his private island who is waiting to experiment on someone like me and I am willing if it means I can spend just a few more years with my son and of course my many supportive and caring friends and family. I want my nieces to remember me, friends to share more hilarity with and I want to make a change for others like me without the knowledge or courage to reach out like this.

The link for the Go fund me

I thought you might be interested in supporting this GoFundMe, https://www.gofundme.com/f/leasa-clark-treatment-fund?um_source=customer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet.

Even a small donation could help Victoria Breheny Smith and Leasa Carke reach their fundraising goal. And if you can't make a donation, it would be great if you could share the fundraiser to help spread the word then just as great.Thanks for taking a look. the just giving page is here: Hello thought you might be interested in supporting this GoFundMe, https://www.gofundme.com/f/leasa-clark-treatment-fund?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign

OTHER WAYS TO HELP

* Message me with words of support

* Share my story with others who seem like they are giving up

* Send words/hopeful stories

* Help me do some amazing things with the ones I love in case by any weird chance I can fight this

* @Jamesosborne is running a fitness challenge around 20th September and he is looking for fitness challengers to join in the fundraiser

* Introduce me to the most innovative triple negative breast cancer teams you know of and ill take it from there

* Very importantly - remember to try and find at least one thing in every day you appreciate or cherish. Please. life is indeed as short as you bloody think it is.

THANKS FOR READING AND I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS