But, I'm a Cheerleader!

As the calendar flips to June and the streets start to bristle with the colors of Pride Month, I'm moved to share my own kaleidoscopic journey. I am bi or pan sexual, not a choice, not a phase, but an intrinsic part of who I am, as inherent to my identity as my love for wine and pesto charcoal fired pizza on a rainy Friday night, watching a true crime documentary and solving the case before the first commercial break (and then, cannoli).

My dance with the nuances of my sexuality began early. As the other girls giggled and gossiped about the boys they were hoping to dance with at our first school dance, my eyes were drawn elsewhere. I was captivated not by the boys, but by a girl with a shy smile and twinkling eyes. That night, as we swayed timidly to the music, I realized that my heart didn't discriminate based on gender. It sought connection, kindness, and shared laughter, and it didn't care where these came from.

However, understanding my sexuality was not a swift, one-time revelation. It was an expedition through a jungle of societal expectations and misconceptions, where stereotypes sought to pigeonhole me into the typical 'lesbian' mold. But I didn't fit neatly into that box, nor did I want to.

I was always "educating" others, not just about my personal experiences, but about the vast, beautifully complex spectrum of human sexuality. In a society that likes to color within the lines, my sexuality colorfully spilled over, confounding some, but eventually opening up dialogue and understanding.

This exploration of my sexual identity was brilliantly mirrored in the cult classic, "But, I'm a Cheerleader". The film resonated with me on a profoundly personal level, and I had a crush on Melanie Lynskey. While the film's theme of a cheerleader sent off to conversion camp was more extreme than my own story, it echoed my sentiments: the struggle of coming to terms with my sexuality while trying to resist the conventional pigeonholes of 'normal'.

The movie highlighted how society is often too keen to make us choose sides, to fit into preconceived boxes. It reminded me of my own battle against these limiting labels. The common assumption is binary: you're either straight or gay, no gray areas. But my sexuality taught me the existence of these gray areas, or rather, the existence of a spectrum bursting with every color you can think of.

Today, I am an advocate, an educator, and an unapologetic queer person. My journey hasn't always been a parade. It's been a labyrinth of confusion, a treasure hunt of self-discovery, a saga of acceptance and affirmation. It's been studded with moments of both bravery and fear. It's been deeply personal, yet universal in its longing for acceptance.

As we celebrate Pride Month, I want to remind everyone that it's okay not to fit into societal molds. It's okay to be who you are and love who you love. And most importantly, it's okay to educate others about your experiences, to challenge stereotypes, and to be a proud, radiant part of the rainbow in our beautifully diverse world.

After all, when it comes to love and sexuality, we are not bound by societal rules or norms. We are not just colors, we are the entire spectrum. We are the embodiment of the very essence of Pride. And, to quote the film that captured my journey so aptly, "But, I am a cheerleader"...

Yes, I was and I still am... I'm a cheerleader for love and love of self! Happy Pride!

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