Im not brave I’m a female who has been classed as having a disability working in the media industry that not doing enough to change hidden biases

fact one I don’t see myself as disabled however I do believe that the media industry is not doing enough and they can do more I’m not saying give a job to someone who has a disability If they meet the skills then give them an interview do allow them to complete all I’m meaning by that bring in support to allow them do the job ie access to work if they need special software etc . This not a cause it’s about doing the right thing this article is about much more then that it’s about many things such as being brave can be hard I had to place a brave face the last couple of years have been so so tough . Im so thankful to the azaming Vicci Green the CEO of Gold Crown Productions ltd whomI have the pleasure to worth . Her start up production company is female orientated disabled friendly 99 % of the staff have a disability 75 % of the crew are female she based in Glasgow she super talented very bright . I’m a production manager there and co producer development and part of the management team. I found others production companies did not care that my mum was ill, I’m coming back after I took some off when my mum became terminal ill . This month will be really tough. Vicci has been right by my side . I lost my dad on the 9th of March 2005 and last year I lost my mum to a battle of smotach cancer her death falls on mother day she was an ex nun a former orphan she taught me kindness morals and values over the last period I have been through tough times it has been one of the most devastating period of my life . In the last week of her life she could not talk she also had dementia my mum was an ex nun she went back to her native language Italian . The hospital asked me to explain to my mum that she was dying in Italian that broke me . I had to keep repeating it . One day one of the nurse came up to me and told me that my mum did not want to die she was scared about leaving me and her family that broke me writing this has brought tears to my eyes . I don’t think I ever get over my parents death I learn to cope and life with it .I was taken to an office with my brother and told that cancer had spread all over her body that she had months not years . I was fighting to get her laser treatment she was meant to get every month she only got it twice. I had it written on a sheet signed by her consultant they tired to denied it was there in front of me . I kept ringing up to try to see what was happening there was over a 3 month delay . I was being past to pillar it was a lovely women at the beatson centre who found that my mum consultant had change my mum former consultant failed to tell me and sent my call to ct instead . What yes you read right !!,. My mum so called district nurse failed to turn up 7 times canceled appointments on me and other people . In her words and without looking at my mum did she did not fit the cretica. My mum was given the wrong pads it took me 5 months to fix it this district nurse decided to past it on to the north glasgow rehab centre which was not their Job as I quote the district nurse would not be written in any letters to get bigger pads she wasn’t wasting her time she told this to the rehab nurse and told she can do it she wasn’t doing it I was in shock this is her job not the rehab nurse. This district nurse comes into people houses who need care why is she a nurse get out of the job you don’t belong she I kept asking her to come out and access my mum and check on her she refused often and l would change work schedules I lodged a formal complaint at the time My mind was frazzled . She told to me face to face claim down when I asked why she was refusing a hospital bed to my mum who dying of terminal cancer she told me she didn’t meet the criteria ?. What are you joking me I said to her face my family pays taxes etc . We need help . I’m only 5 foot my mum was 15 stone. It’s laughable now in not in a nice way the hospitals tried the doctors other services tried for 17 months I was fighting for a hospital bed for my dying mum that lead me to effect my mental health . We managed to get a mattress with out the hospital bed lol . I kid you not .In the end we bought our own she lasted another 5 months she was misdiagnosed from the start back in 20I5 I keep thinking if I fought more would she still be here that will never go away that guilt .I was told the care home that she was moving too had a consultant a doctor I was told to my face that she could get blood transfusions there and drips to keep her alive that was a lie .I asked them to call me when they were moving her as she was scared they didn’t call my friend was there went with her as she was crying . I turned up that night and slept in a chair a few days later I found out she had signed an dnr form my mum would never sign that it was day that she moved she could not even write she wasn’t lucid I was so angry I felt I let her down . I found out that she been moved into a plalitive Care ward she been sent there to die she lasted a week oh my god I can’t thank them enough what beautiful people they were angels . I would go to work then go back at night the day she died my cousin and I had stayed over night my cousin had stayed with me she couldn’t speak she lost her voice I could not lip read I could not film it it would have been too Painful for me . The last three days I found an Italian women who husband knew my dad she read the bible in Italian she smiled the night before she died I put in lots of her favourite movies of saints . I was at the doctors I should have been there I wasn’t there for my mum and dad they died without me . This then had taken its toil I suffer from a bone disorder that effect one in 50000 I don’t let that affect me . I have dyslexia that has made me made by dyslexia . Last year and the year before last I kept on getting abscesses I had ct scan 3 mri scans 2 ultra sounds A pet scan an endoscopy which was the day before my mum first birthday since she passed away they found tumours they took 4 bioscopies from me that was such a tough day it give me flashback to the day that I brought my mum in she had the procedure and then we were taken to another room and told that the consultant had suspected cancer I had to go a film a shoot for the Maggie centre the day after I find out its terminal my mind was muss A week later it was confirmed I had numerous surgeries I now found out that they have found something after two clear mri results I had an exam today under general . They were surprised to find this growth Last year in July I had walked into hospital felling unwell little did I know I had sepsis it’s so dangerous . I spent nights in hospital trying to stop the poisoned blood effecting my system I had so many drips and mask on I kept on getting noise bleeds my arm was on fire flash forward too today I havre now found out that they had to cut some tissue out they sending for bioscopy two years ago I was in a dark place I’m waiting for the results . I continue to work you know your own body fight for what your rights if you feel something is not right ask for second opinion it can be hard be brave stand up stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. I’m going make a documentary about my story . and of others I hope it will help, others be kind to everyone we all have mental health issues during our period .There nothing to be ashamed about I’m always trying to better myself we are all a global family all of us we all the same. We speak for those who can’t speak for themselves . We have a duty of care to those around me as a producer my first thought the health and safety of my crew and cast making sure they have mental health support when needed if they don’t feel comfortable give them the options and take a step back but watch from a distance and step when you need yourself can save lives . Speak use Bectu don’t let bully’s win . If you can’t handle it pass your concerns on further up the chain it can be hard .Im a former door supervisor I’m firm but fair. I will try to help as many as I can . I don’t understand people who hate someone for colour greed religion race ethnic or from the lgbt community non binary etc . I don’t like or support the far right etc or the left anyone who undermines someone .Im all for woman rights every single woman and every single man has the right to read and write . I can’t stand anyone who stop that when you educate someone you given them power. I love my past work with working with young kids and young people they can be brutally honest . I love that I want their voice to be heard and listen too. I love Greta Turnbill I cant stand who troll her she speaking the truth . We need stand up for former sex slave and human trafficked be it make or female those who have seen abuse touture etc we must protect. We as woman must unite please become part of women in film and tv We have to protect women children men who work in this industry to stop sexual harassment help the vulnerable stop being rude to one and other stop let’s support let’s collaborate encourage to make this a better world let make content that inspire and uplifting let’s not forget the story and the audience . We need more content writers bring talent in doesn’t matter what age they are they are Many that are in a position of power to make change let’s make it happen if the independent industry joined all together we can make a change . I love develop new content shows entertainment ndocumentaries film drama kids tv show theatre quiz shows art etc .Producing saved me I write my new book s develop tv treatments for one that have been published I draw etc . I now working on a scfi film an environment feature an animation . I’m going develop my career and move forward it will be hard . I have to believe .if anyone has lost a love one or going through grief or depression or thoughts of self harm to yourself and others etc please pick up the phone you are not alone there help out there doesn’t make you weak it make you you . As long as yiu not hurting yourself or anyone else This is what I do it may not work for all don’t get me wrong I do get down Im learning to have a tougher skin now learnt bounce back not given up for me success is looking in the mirror and smiling back that one thing stand my own ground . Have a code of ethics on set which I had for years . I try to crack jokes about myself to put others at ease listen to their issues but make sometime for you you need to make sure you ok your health is important you matter if anyone is rude or mean in a nasty way raise above it .It can be hard very taken the higher ground is good for your soul my best friend said this know your battles Fight what you can win let go of hate I have let go of hate it was killing me it was changing me to someone I did not lime .I’m not prefect for me inner beauty counts more how you act with the others I used linkden learning courses to help me to be the best version of me . I feel that there can be gatekeepers who hopefully will retire soon in this industry and place rocks in your path step over them around them . I meet some really rude people who told me I would never make it etc. yes it hurt my cv has been crushed saying it’s all wrong . I want to help grew vicci company’s and gain more freelance work hopefully reopen my production company and other creative adventures .Companies need to embrace dyslexia thinking and understand their employees look at non profit organisation made by dyslexia 99% of future leaders have that trait . We need more support for adhd Autism etc . There Are NHS websites that educate you on there about dyeslixa . More dyeslixa awareness training .I always believe in karma I always seem have the knack of understanding why certain people behave a certain way have the knack of empathy and leading with kindness . I was bullied for a long time you not anyone punching bag both psychical and emotionally that goes for all sexes . when you keep something buried it’s effects you and when you unburden it can be very helpful only do it if you are comfortable speak to someone you trust sometime a stranger . my motto treat everyone like how you want to be treated yourself and teach others . If you have a story about cancer mental health and sepsis please message me this needs to come out I hope it will safe lives hugs and peace .I now mental health first aid trained we work all hours we work in a stressful environment let’s make stress free Peace and hugs to you all xx I say again we all family love to you all and may you all have success in life work love and happiness.I don’t know what the outcome will be As a development producer I’m creating content right now in my hospital bed. I don’t see I’m myself as disabled never never never say that you are sorry I’m not disabled in my eyes or any other eyes to say that can be seen to be offence over 700 million people who have dyeslixa one in four of the world have a disability