But I'm the boss, this was supposed to be easier!
Lia Garvin
"Team Whisperer" doing workshops, trainings, & keynotes to help companies build better teams | Ex-Google, Microsoft, Apple | 2x Bestselling Author & TEDx Speaker | Host of the Managing Made Simple podcast
Stepping into a new leadership role can feel like walking a tightrope—you're excited, maybe even a little nervous, but you’re ready to lead. Then reality sets in: the respect you expected doesn’t just come with the title. In episode 137 of Managing Made Simple, I share why this happens and how you can navigate these tricky dynamics to build genuine respect and authority with your team.
The Expectation vs. Reality of Leadership
Whether you’re managing former colleagues, stepping into an executive role, or leading a brand-new team, the transition isn’t always smooth. You might think your new title should naturally come with respect, but that’s usually not what happens. It’s not about them ignoring you—it’s about building the right kind of connection and showing up as a leader they can trust, instead of a new boss they resent.?
Step 1: Build Genuine Relationships
The first step to gaining respect is to invest time in your team members. Get to know them, their goals, and how they like to work. This isn’t just about having coffee chats; it’s about showing them that you’re in their corner and genuinely interested in helping them succeed. Remember, respect is a two-way street—if they feel seen and valued by you, they’re a lot more likely to reciprocate.
Step 2: Assert Your Authority with Confidence
It’s tempting to downplay your authority to seem more approachable, especially if you’re managing former friends or peers. But don’t fall into the trap of undermining your own position. Be clear about your role and what you bring to the table. Share your leadership style and process, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Your team needs to know you’re in charge—not just as a title, but as someone who can guide them effectively.
Step 3: Set Clear Communication Expectations
Changing your role from colleague to leader, or from outsider to team head, takes open communication. Don’t assume your old ways will smoothly transition you into this new setup. Have direct conversations about how you’ll handle feedback, how you expect tasks to be managed, and how you can support each other. This is even more important when managing former peers or friends—you need to redefine how you work together in this new context.
Stepping into a leadership role doesn’t come with a free pass to respect and authority—you have to earn it. By building genuine connections, confidently asserting your position, and setting clear communication expectations, you can turn this challenging transition into a successful leadership journey. Ready to lead with confidence? Let’s get started.
If you want more personalized guidance on stepping into your leadership role, let’s connect. Email me at [email protected] to find out how I can help make leading your team fun and successful.