I’m better than no one, and NO ONE is better than me

"I'm better than no one, and NO ONE is better than me"

I added this line to me and my kids’ morning affirmation years ago, and it’s the crux of my approach to #networking and social interaction of all kind.

Let's start with the first half...

I’m better than no one.

This part is key to #relationshipdevelopment and must always come first.??I walk into rooms everyday, filled with people of all kinds.??Those who know me can attest, my favorite task in meeting new people is to uncover what makes them interesting, unique, and #successful .

In a sea of financial advisors, I’ve found a renowned artist who used trash to create masterpieces.

In a crowded room of accounting interns, I’ve found a 20 year-old who created a memorabilia business that paid his college tuition.

Rags-to-riches, beating chronic illness, overcoming massive adversity, selfless philanthropy, wild risk-takers, prodigies, musicians, artists, actors, athletes, politicians, entrepreneurs - I’ve found them all!??They’re literally everywhere.?

Every ?? Single ?? Person ?? I’ve ever met has something about them that makes them cool and interesting.

I take that investigative endeavor to an extreme, so for those who are more (I guess normal) I’d like to offer a glimpse of what this mindset creates.??

While I love myself and think I’m great, I don’t often need people to check my ego as a matter of course. I inadvertently do that to myself everyday by identifying what makes people so amazing, thus reiterating with every new relationship that I, Sean Hand, am better than no one.

From what I’ve found in my 15+ years of intensive networking, people enjoy being around people that make them feel both #equal and #unique .??That said, it's important to remind yourself...?

NO ONE is better than me.

Everyone, regardless of size, status, and stature, has a fragile ego. It's another universal trait we share in our common DNA. Because of this, we #social creatures won't survive very long on a steady diet of everyone else's greatness. We need to create and remind ourselves of our own. That's where this second statement comes in.

While it's true... I believe I'm better than no one... it's equally true that there isn't a person on this planet who's better than me.

Intimidation is often the paper tiger that patrols the jungles of our emotions. We feel its presence every time someone introduces themselves as "Chief this" or "honorable that". "Award-winning", "5-star", "best", "top", "premier". Firm grip, firm figure. Chic style, beautiful smile. Great hair, debonair. Wealth, health, affluence and influence.

You can feel it, can't you? The sweaty palms and heart palpitations as faces of people to whom we've ascribed these attributes flash through our minds. But why? They're just people. Not a single one of these people are better than you. You don't think a rich 70-year old billionaire envies your youth? You don't think the loveless real estate mogul looks past your department store gloves to see you holding hands with your spouse of 12 years?

Just as I look for what makes people amazing, I also recognize what makes me amazing. I reiterate them to myself, and if the time calls for it, I'll take a moment to think about them. What is it about me? What do I possess that those who seemingly hover over me would gladly descend to my level to possess? No one is a better version of me than me. They may have more money, better looks, greater fame, whatever. Check, check, and check. But it won't take long until I determine that unique thing I have that they don't.

Do I need to voice it? No. I simply need to know it. Knowing that no one in a room is better than you is all you'll need to conduct yourself with the confidence you deserve and the confidence they'll respect.

This exercise may seem narcissistic or at the very least self-centered, but it's really the opposite. It's the yang to balance the yin earlier. If you live your life knowing that you're better than no one, then there's no reason you can't live that same life knowing that no one is better than you. While it may take time to balance the weights of these two statements, once you do, you'll find comfort in living a social life that promises to be enriching and fulfilling.

About the Author

Sean is the author of?That Was Awkward: 7 Secrets of an Awkward Networker ?and the founder of?Awkward Networker , a professional development website focused on encouraging and mentoring networkers by providing his tips and techniques to avoid the natural awkwardness of networking. Sean created Awkward Networker as a platform to teach others the fast track to networking and professional success.