I'm Becoming the Advocate I Needed, by William Hughes

I could start by writing about what happened one year ago today (March 31st), but you wouldn’t be getting the full story. To really understand my story this year for World Autism Acceptance Month, I need to write about things that happened more than 40 years ago.

In the fall of 1977, I was in 6th grade at PS 122 in The Bronx. I was overweight, wore glasses, was short-tempered, and didn’t realize I was very unpopular, but I was still one of the top three students in the school. The top students entering 6th grade based on the 5th grade reading and math scores were invited to take the entrance exam for Hunter College Junior High School, which was a program for gifted students throughout New York City. This led to Hunter College High School, which is a similar program for grades 9-12. I was advised by my teacher, Ms. Trotsky I was going to be among the invitees., but it the school made a clerical error, which meant I was denied the chance to take the exam, but I was promised as soon as that happened that I would be in the Enhanced Program in JHS 143.

Two years later, I was in 8th grade at JHS 143. I was overweight, wore glasses, was short-tempered, was by far the most unpopular student in the school, was beginning to suffer from depression, and yet, I was among the top five students in the entire school. Most people who knew me throughout my life up to then had me passing the entrance exam for The Bronx High School of Science, one of the top schools in New York City, which was a short commute or a long walk from my house. I asked myself “Do I want to deal with the same people who’ve been making fun of you for the last year and more for another four years?”. I made the decision to put Stuyvesant High School as my first choice as it was in Manhattan and the commute was going to be over an hour from my house to East 15th Street (the school has since moved to Chambers Street in lower Manhattan).?I planned to study hard for the exam, and if I missed the cutoff, then I almost certainly would get into Bronx Science. Well, I passed for Stuyvesant and suddenly, people were saying it was the better school. That only egged the rest of the students to bully me further, with some teachers also participating, I ended up getting even more depressed and feeling suicidal, which led to a hospitalization in 1980. The only good thing to come out of this was that none of the bullies passed the exam.

I went through the four years of high school, but it was not easy. I had two more hospital stays and the discussion at 18 turned towards my applying for Social Security Disability (SSDI) benefits. I didn’t succeed there, but I decided to go to Hunter College, thanks in no small part to being the closest school to the hospital in case I needed to go back. I stayed there for a year and a half and transferred to SUNY-Buffalo, where I had what I called a “lost semester” since it took until half-way through the semester to be recognized in the system as a student. I took classes with several hundred people in them and since I wasn’t making any social progress, I decided to return home.

I’ve written about the next part of my life before, but in short, I was able to get on disability benefits (SSDI), and lived a very simple life until I got a PC and Internet access. I learned Microsoft Office enough to start working as a temporary administrative assistant, then a PC Tech, then an Information Security Analyst. In 2003, I found out I was autistic, but didn’t really disclose it to a lot of people. Then came the job loss and years of difficulty in finding another job. I went back to Hunter College and earned my BA in Political Science, followed by a MA in Political Science In 2013. A few months later, I found out through my therapist at the time about Specialisterne, a job placement program for autistic people. I thrived there and was hired by Towers Watson, where I stayed for seven and a half years. I went back to school and earned a MS in Data Analytics in December of 2021, which turned out to be towards the end of my tenure at Willis Towers Watson. I really thought I should have been offered an expansion of my role and a promotion, but that was to no avail.

While that was going on, I had been thinking about applying for doctoral programs in Data Science. I then realized that I didn’t have a passion for that and thought about where my opportunities were and how I could make an impact. I chose to pursue a doctorate in Global Leadership at Indiana Institute of Technology , where I am today.

As for the job, one year ago today, I was offered a position with Prolink , a company based in Cincinnati, OH. I accepted whole-heartedly and left Willis Towers Watson two weeks later. That job was short-lived, so I needed to find another one, however, I wish them all the success in the world as they are a great place to work. I found out about a law firm called Stradley Ronon and applied for a data steward position. I remember this being the one time I had to do an interview in the master bedroom since my wife was using the home office and the housecleaners were downstairs. It took a few weeks, but I was offered the job and have been there ever since.

Now that I’ve written more than 900 words about my life, how about I talk about the reason for this article. If you read the first part, you’ll notice that I was in situations where I was by myself and thanks to undiagnosed autism, a hormone imbalance in my adolescence and my not understanding what was going on, I didn’t have the ability to act on my own behalf. This included school politics, office politics, multiple therapists without a clue, medications that were so bad that I was told several times in the 1980’s that I was better off without taking anything (Pro Tip: Don’t put a 13-year-old on Thorazine. It really sets a bad tone for medications in the future.). Those two years of middle school left emotional scars that still haven’t healed more than 40 years later. I needed someone to get me accepted in school, at work and in life. I was told by many people that I deserved better, but I needed someone to fight for me, to act on my behalf and make things better. I needed someone to take away the pain I was in and in many ways still to this day.

I finally got to meet that person when I was in the final few months with Willis Towers Watson. He is going to develop a new concept that will help first autistic people, then other neurodivergent people, then any population that is marginalized. He is going to research an idea that has never been researched before. He is going to promote self-advocacy as well as advocating on a community level for people like himself.

That person is me. I will not only do the research that is needed to make things happen for the autistic community, but I will also act on their behalf and educate those gatekeepers who try to deny us opportunities as to why it benefits everyone when everyone gets the same chance for better employment, better careers and better lives. I will fight for anyone who has clear and obvious talent but is kept down because they don’t know how to play the corporate game. I will speak for those who may not have a clear and obvious talent but has a hidden one that they can benefit from. I’ll work for a focus on the spectrum of talents autistic people possess and how we can benefit from better job matching and placement services. I will do so not wearing a mask but instead wearing armor. I will speak not from weakness, but from strength.

I learned last year that this isn’t about me, it’s about something bigger, something that can change how autistic and neurodivergent people are seen in the world. ?It’s proving how resilient we are and how we can persevere in the face of adversity after adversity. It’s showing how we can work together to help one another grow our talents and our strengths. It’s allowing us how to manage our careers and our lives with dignity and respect. It’s how we can help one another by showing throughout the world that autistic people are capable and possess many talents.?It’s designing goals we can reach and improve on daily. We are stronger together than we are separately.

I’m working in combination with a leadership coach, therapist and psychiatrist who all understand autism and can understand where I am coming from when I am discussing a topic. I discuss ideas involving living with autism and my intended research initiatives, which I am happy to announce will start in the second half of 2023. I also have the support of my wife and two cats, the wife encouraging me to bring out the best I can offer and my cats encouraging me to be silly. I am part of a community on LinkedIn that supports one another and encourages each other to succeed in whatever manner they choose. I feel respected for how I speak about the topics of interest to me, and I respect those who speak for the advancement of autistic and neurodivergent people. I’ve connected with people in different parts of the world, who don’t see me as I was in the 1970’s and 1980’s, but as who I am today. I also see that in my firm, as those who know me respect me for what I can do, not for the condition I live with. I don’t have any connections in my life with anyone from more than 10 years ago, and when I thought about it a while back, I could only come up with four or five people I would really want to connect with again.

It's ironic that I now work at a law firm ( Stradley Ronon ), considering lawyers have a skill for crafting and developing arguments for clients on a wide variety of topics. At one point when I younger, I wanted to use my political science degree to go to law school, but I realized at that point that I was struggling socially. When I went back to finish my undergraduate degree, I thought about law school again, this time considering intellectual property law, but I realized that it would have been a large financial gamble with no guarantee of success that I could not afford to take. I’m thrilled that there is an openly autistic attorney in the United States who regularly is on the American Bar Association website, but I realized that it’s not for me.

Instead, I’ve decided to become the advocate I needed.