I'm Back 'In A Relationship' With Facebook

On June 29, 2022, I used this space to explain why, after 15 years, I was finally ready to break up with Facebook. But today, exactly one year later, I'm coming back to the controversial social media juggernaut.

What happened in between the two June 29's to drive this decision? Well, it just so happens I kept a journal of sorts while on Facebookation (Facebook Vacation). Here are the highlights:

Thursday, June 30, 2022: I've done it! I've successfully disconnected my Facebook account. I feel so.... free! Finally, I'll have time to pursue some of my other interests, such as Instagram and Twitter.

Wednesday, July 6, 2022: Whoops! It just dawned on me that, while I'm on my Facebookation, I won't have access to the trillions of pictures I've posted over the years. How else will I be able to remember which celebrities I've photoshopped my heads onto? Thankfully, Facebook has a workaround to help me download everything to the Cloud drive of my choice.

Thursday, July 7, 2022: It took forever, but I've downloaded all of my pictures and organized them into albums. Farewell, Facebook!

Tuesday, July 26, 2022: I was surprised to learn that, despite signing off of Facebook more than a month ago, someone just tagged me in their post. How is this possible? Apparently, my disconnection was only temporary and FB conveniently "reconnected" my account without my knowledge or blessing. To the untrained eye, it would appear as though I came crawling back. But I've fixed the settings so that this will be a permanent disconnection... or at least until I get bored.

Monday, August 15, 2022: Better Call Saul, one of my all-time favorite television shows, has just aired its final episode on AMC. Good thing I'm not on Facebook any more, because I probably would have commemorated the moment by photoshopping my head onto his or something. Oh wait... I did just that in 2015:

Monday, August 22, 2022: I just returned from an amazing vacation with my wife, and for the first time in a dozen or so years, I've only posted vacation pics on my Instagram. I know - who on earth would even care? But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted a little bit.

Tuesday, September 13, 2022: Yesterday was my first birthday in 15 years without receiving dozens upon dozens of birthday wishes via Facebook. Do people not keep track of birthdays on other devices such as calendars any more? Wow. Just a little bit hurt, guys... At least my kids remembered!

Thursday, September 15, 2022: Would it be considered "cheating" if I went through my wife's Facebook account to check up on things?

Monday, September 19, 2022: Rest in Peace, Queen Elizabeth. Good thing I'm not on Facebook any more, because I probably would have commemorated the moment by photoshopping my head onto hers or something. Oh wait... I did just that in 2011:

Thursday, October 27, 2022: It's official - Elon Musk has purchased Twitter. I'm sure nothing bad could possibly come from this development. Maybe he'll buy Facebook next, and then I'll be forced to return to the platform? Just saying is all.

Thursday, November 3, 2022: I haven't made a journal entry in a while because honestly, I've forgotten about Facebook for a while now. Is it possible I'm over my FB addiction? Or maybe I've just been keeping busy the last while...

Saturday, December 31, 2022: Should I start the new year off back on Facebook? I think I've spent enough time away from the platform where I could return now and save face. Either that, or no one really gives a shit what I do on social media, and it won't make difference. Hmmmm....

Wednesday, January 4, 2023: I decided not to give into temptation and I'm still Facebookless for the moment. But for the life of me, I can't remember why I left in the first place.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023: I almost went back to Facebook today, largely because I was trying to remember something (hilarious) that I wrote there years ago. Thankfully, I decided at the last second not to log on and check. Still, would anyone honestly have noticed had I logged on for a few minutes? I seriously doubt it. And even if they did, who cares?

Wednesday, February 15, 2023: I finally have a Verified Twitter account! Even though I had to pay for it and stuff! Maybe this will replace my Facebook addiction?

Thursday, February 16, 2023: Nope.

Monday, February 27, 2023: I looked at Facebook through my wife's account again. Listen, I am NOT addicted! I can quit any time I want! I only "Facebook" in social situations, or to celebrate special occasions!

Friday, March 3, 2023: Not sure how this happened, but once again, I've been reconnected to Facebook without my knowledge. I had to go in and change the settings again, but I resisted the urge to start checking on everyone's profiles.

Tuesday, March 7, 2023: What if someone died during my Facebook sabbatical and I didn't know about because it was listed on Facebook? Yes, that's a truly morbid thought, but it's possible, right? And would anyone think less of me if I didn't send condolences? I suppose if it was someone I actually knew and not a "friend of a friend of a friend," it wouldn't matter that much anyways. Still....

Saturday, April 22, 2023: Barry Humphries, the Australian actor known as playing Dame Edna Everage, has just passed away. Good thing I'm not on Facebook any more, because I probably would have commemorated the moment by photoshopping my head onto his or something. Oh wait... I did just that in 2013:

Thursday, April 27, 2023: How long has it been since I quit Facebook again? I'm only holding out until the one-year mark. This kid has his principles!

Tuesday, May 16, 2023: Went through the wife's Facebook account again. At this point, it is what it is.

Sunday, June 11, 2023: Why the hell is June such a long f*cking month?!?! I demand answers! Maybe Facebook has them?

And now.... it's finally June 29th, and I can resume my habit of stalking my friends and family via social media.

The entire year just flew by. I can't believe how painless it was!

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