"I'm All Set, I'm All Good!"... But Are You?

The default answer is the most acceptable answer.

One small default answer has many levels of connotations that run miles deep.

Fear has many wonderful, sexy, appealing disguises. It shows up as bravado. It shows up as status. It shows up as "Everything is great!" It presents itself as many different forms of success. It often plays a role that looks like strength.

It's cultural, societal, and familiar to never show any "weakness." Weakness means to never reveal something that won't make you look good to others. There is a risk of not being liked, the risk of not being celebrated.

(If my article already bothers you, you need this more than anyone).

When someone asks you if you're really happy with where you are, the loud default answer is always "yes."

There are always two answers to a question. There is the answer that comes to you immediately that you feel confident and comfortable to share with the public. Then, there is another answer that is a quiet whisper in the deepest corner of your chest, usually right behind your heart (the organ), or at the furthest back part of your head, close to the nape of your neck. That whisper is the real answer.

The obvious answer that you speak out by default is the conditioned answer. It is what is expected, and what you want to believe. It is the answer designed for autopilot that is far from looking after your real best interest. Instead, it is designed to protect the fa?ade of "all is well," and the status quo that has been such a priority in life.

Most people ignore their quiet whisper because they are afraid to let go of what has allowed them to feel significant.

Noticing a different answer inside your body is only the first step. Acknowledging that whisper is a dramatic step. And the most courageous step? Taking action according to that whisper. In the end, action is the only thing that moves the needle.

This is why everything that you truly want is deep inside you, and the only way to turn them to reality is to face the fear of "loss" of what you already have, and the uncertainty that lies ahead.

Most people hear the whisper and learn to shun it because it makes things complicated. The quiet whispers also tend to hit at the most inconvenient times, such as, when you're about to be promoted, when you're about to propose, or to be proposed to, when you're about to make another major decision that seems so perfectly fitting from the outside as the next grand step. The quiet voice will then ramp up, kick and scream like a giant squid being seared on red hot coal.

Please, do not take me even deeper into this. Do not make me do this again. I don't know why, but I don't want it.

Then you're faced with a choice to murder that voice in total silence and privacy, and move on as you always have.

Or choose not to ignore. Because you're really courageous.

Ignoring that quiet whisper is like ignoring your best advisors.

The only difference between those who have an incredible life, and those who find themselves unfulfilled, comes down to courage. It takes courage to acknowledge, face, and it takes even greater courage to put it into action.

How do you acknowledge such a heavy realization that will make you "lose" everything that you've poured so much into?

How do you suddenly allow yourself to even explore the idea that the direction you're heading towards is perhaps not what you really want to achieve in the long-term?

How do you allow yourself to let go of the one thing that you've lived for, that has allowed you to get to where you are today?

What else do you need that will break the camel's back?

This is the question I ask my clients when they sign up to work with me. It takes deep realization and acceptance that you are unhappy where you are, and have done everything in your own power to fix this, to start considering coaching help.

The point that breaks the camel's back comes down to certain forms of tangible success that rapidly crumbles and goes down the drain. It's the nasty feeling of being out of control: troubled children, a rocky marriage, deep depression and anxiety. It may also mean the point where you feel you're choosing between life and death. It could be a breaking point of struggles with mental, emotional, physical health. All critical, catalytic points, however, no matter how different they may seem from the outside, all fall under the category of severe existential crisis.

"Why am I doing this, and what is it all for?"

The other requirement? Lack of satisfaction, fulfilment, and the inability to do it without professional help has to have been in their mind for some time.

Our minds work like a broken record. We have this internal background music that repeats the same thoughts and beliefs over and over again, which plays continuously during our waking and sleeping life. The more we listen to the same thought, the more so it takes shape to become a reality. We drive towards the instructions we hear in our heads.

Change doesn't mean you strip to nothing to start over. Sometimes change just means that you just need new perspectives and make strategic tweaks.

When people say they don't know what they want in their life, they don't believe something is possible, they don't believe that they have or need a life purpose... as well, when they convince themselves that they are happy and perfectly good where they are... it means they stopped hearing that whisper, because they repeatedly killed it many times over. That voice is so mangled that it can no longer speak out. This can all be turned around.

The more a person is in touch with their true calling and take action every day to live it, the faster and more ways they find to upgrade their current situation. Then your mindset changes to...

"Now that I've experienced what's possible, I need to find out what else is possible. What else I can make it happen?"

It's a life of rapid, constant growth and creation. It's exciting. It's like a fun game to find out what else is possible. Experiencing one incredible milestone leads to another impossible achievement. Real success is a chain reaction. It takes the experience of seeing and living a possibility that sparks to open up widely to what else is possible. Imagine you could create everything you can think of. How amazing and fun life would be?

About the Author:

Julia Cha is a best-selling author and a success coach for women leaders ready to shatter glass ceilings. With her expertise in subconscious transformation, she guides her clients to create their dream life in all aspects: a thriving career, financial abundance, and supportive relationships.

Learn more: www.juliacha.com

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