I'm Addicted to Joy. Is That Healthy?
by Paige Cohen, Senior Editor
Joy is my favorite emotion. Most of my choices are in service of spreading or feeling it: making a coworker laugh, doing a funny dance for my friends, kissing my dog behind his ear, or having a glass of wine at the end of a long day.
Other emotions? I find those a little more difficult. I’m not a big crier. I don’t get angry easily. I’m rarely resentful, grouchy, or disgusted. For most of my life, I thought this was a good thing. Who wouldn’t want to mute the hard stuff and focus on feeling up?
When I was in my early 20s, a friend encouraged me to dig deeper — with a therapist. It turns out that prioritizing positivity was a way of coping with my feelings of anxiety. My ceaseless search for joy was a way of masking depression. I had trouble sitting still and dealing with the thoughts that might come up in the quiet. My culture and upbringing taught me that to give into the harder things, to ask for help, would be “too needy.”
This isn’t something I came to immediately. It’s taken years of talk therapy, failed relationships, and poor work decisions. A decade later, I’ve found some balance, and my life is so much better for it.
I talk about this now because there is a lot of information published about the mental health stigma at work. But in my experience, understanding this is not enough. Even with the people who are the closest to us, having the self-awareness to describe our feelings clearly and work through them is a skill that takes time to develop. It’s not just about being vulnerable and it’s not just about feeling safe. It’s about education.
To confront our mental health needs at work and at home, and bring our best selves to both places, we need to be educated on how to turn inward and ask the right questions. To name our feelings and communicate our needs clearly, we need to learn new vocabulary.
For anyone interested in doing this work, here are a few articles to get you started.
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Toxic positivity is the assumption that despite experiencing emotional pain and turmoil, we should only have a positive mindset. Overdoing positive affirmations invalidates our feelings and harms our overall wellbeing.
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Co-Founder | Brain and Mental Wellness Coach
2 年Couldn't agree more. Awareness and acceptance is not enough. It is about looking inwards and making yourself accountable just as much. Thanks for sharing!
Mental Health and Wellbeing Consultant
2 年Wow, any addiction can be 'bad' for you. Finding a happy medium is essential. I know I feel uncomfortable when someone is over-the-top happy, so I can imagine how uncomfortable it may feel for a client. Therefore we need to build awareness about our emotions so that we are creating a safe and supportive environment to discuss mental health.
it depends on how you sing it.....
Future Primary/Junior Educator | Believer in Purposeful Learning | Creating Equitable, Engaging Classrooms for All Students | Empowering Students through Creativity, Play, and Community
2 年Such an important topic. Building emotional literacy is something that benefits people and organizations. Many people's emotional vocabulary is small though and talking emotions is still taboo in many organizations. Hopefully we see this improve in the future.