The Illusion of Freedom: Your Choices That Set You Free

When you ask most people what they value most in their career and lifestyle, the answer usually leads back to freedom. Money for freedom, time for freedom, or to be their own boss for freedom. Freedom gives choices, autonomy and control. It feels empowering. It is the ultimate panacea. But it is mostly an illusion.

In the world of lifestyle business, wealth creation and setting up your own business, the allure and illusion is that you don’t have to answer to anyone. You don’t have a boss telling you what to do, and as such you can do what you want, where you want, when you want and with who you want. Whilst this seems like the ultimate goal, here’s a dose of reality: this destination does. not. exist.

In fact, holding onto this illusion will only make you feel more trapped and frustrated, the very feelings you are trying to avoid in your quest for freedom.

Before you think I am stealing dreams here, stay with me. More so than a destination or outcome, freedom is a perception.

You see, nearly 20 years ago I worked for my Dad in his pub. I thought I’d be free, working for my family and not having a ‘real’ boss. But I was not free, because this wasn’t my life’s calling. Being told what to do by my Dad, even though it was only occasional, was a reminder that I was not in control and he could say or do anything to take my freedom away.

So after a few years and plucking up the courage, I set up as an artist running my own business. now I would have the ultimate freedom. Wrong.

Now I was answerable to gallery owners who would reject my work, customers who were very fussy about commissions, and even harder, myself to be committed and accountable. The irony was it was kind of easier when you have a structure of when to open and when to close the pub, and someone to tell you what to do. But when you had to motivate yourself, it felt stifling.

Then I was also struggling for money, and that can give you the greatest sense of vulnerability and lack of freedom. I could not really do anything because I couldn’t afford it.

So then property was going to save my life and set me free. It was going to make me passive income and my portfolio was going to be my pension so I could retire young and retire rich. But then you are beholden and responsible for tenants, accountants, solicitors and agents. And the bigger your portfolio, the more responsibility. The more you have to lose. The more vulnerable you are in a recession. Then you hire staff, and now you have an even bigger responsibility.

And then you have kids!

So how then do you achieve freedom, if through all these stages of my career freedom is elusive?

Well the answer is your perception of freedom, rather than the destination of freedom.

What most people want when they search for freedom and autonomy is to actually run away from something; being controlled, being bullied, feeling weak and powerless, suppressed and stifled. They want to free themselves from the control of a boss or partner or kids for staff or customers or suppliers or bullies. The pain is the driver, but it also creates the illusion that once you get rid of it, you have your ultimate goal. All that happens in fact is your accountability and service moves from one person or form to another.

When running his pub, my Dad you to say “son, the two worst things about business are staff and customers”! But imagine him, taking another vocation or business, you don’t ever get rid of that responsibility, it simply takes another form.

Imagine for a moment this hypothetical: you have freedom, choice, passive income, retirement and you answer to no one but yourself. Then you also have boredom, monotony, lack of drive and ambition,no growth and therefore a slow decay. and guilt about all of these feeling to add to them. Even if you think you won’t, try it and see.

So the illusion/delusion is that you can have total freedom, when in fact we are all interdependent. We all serve each other in some way. We are all accountable in some way.

And that is actually a great gift to drive growth. And in turn you feel as free as you could feel. but only if you change your perception of freedom from a destination to a perception, a result to a journey and feeling of service, accountability and gratitude. You can have more choices by choosing to accept accountability and vulnerability, by accepting responsibility, rather than running away from it.

If you have your own business, you are accountable to suppliers and customers. The responsibility has simply moved and changed form from you old boss, who protected you from all of that.

If you have passive income from property and tenants, now you are accountable to the lender and the tenants and the suppliers. Again, the responsibility has simply changed form.

So, stop running away from something in your life and start making better choices.

You can choose to have freedom, in your mind, by serving. By enjoying and stepping up to accountability. By knowing that accountability is great, the you need it to grow, and in turn you get more of what you perceive gives you freedom. Freedom really is a state of mind rather than a new lifestyle you are chasing. And as soon as you see this, you in turn get more freedom. That is the paradox.

Choose who you most want to be accountable to. Choose the trade off to feel the freedom you crave. You could be accountable to business partners, staff, customers, suppliers, kids, partners, followers and fans. in choosing these people to hold in their hands my freedom, I am the most FREE I’ve ever been. And you can be too.

Any comments or questions, please post below!

Rob