The Illusion of Fear: How We Think We’re Helping But Are Actually Holding Ourselves (And Others) Back

Fear is sneaky. It dresses up as love, protection, and wisdom. It whispers, “I just want what’s best for you.” But what it really means is: “I want you to do what makes me comfortable.”

I’ve seen it time and time again. People who “know better” try to project their fear onto those who are called to live differently. I’ve experienced it firsthand.

?? “Having a baby at home is dangerous.” ?? “Moving to Mexico? But is it safe?” ?? “Your kids won’t have high school diplomas? How will they survive?!”

And let’s be real—if you’re an entrepreneur or married to one, you know exactly how this goes. ?? “Starting a business is too risky. A stable job is safer.” ?? “Investing in yourself is reckless—you should save every penny.” ?? “Hiring someone? Do it yourself! You need to work harder.”

Here’s the truth: The only thing dangerous about living differently is the people who try to convince you not to.

?? The False Sense of Security: The Illusions We’ve Been Sold

?? The Illusion of the Hospital Being “Safer” ??

I birthed my babies at home. That scares some people. But I didn’t feel safe in a hospital. I didn’t want to be there. So for me, it wasn’t the safer option.

My mom, on the other hand, spent time in hospitals during her cancer journey—and some of her worst experiences were there. ?? Nurses who gave her the wrong medication. ?? Anesthesiologists who miscalculated dosages. ?? Life-or-death moments because she had to be her own advocate.

Meanwhile, my home birth experiences were incredible. My favorite part? Being in my own space, not having to move my body when I didn’t want to. But to some, that is terrifying.

So, who’s right?

The answer: Whoever trusts themselves enough to make the decision that’s right for them.

?? The Illusion of Safety in Staying Put ??

We moved to Mexico. People freaked out. ?? “Is it safe?” ?? “Aren’t you worried?”

Here’s what they don’t realize—I feel safer here than I ever did in our rural Wisconsin town. More than I’d feel in Chicago. More than a lot of places people never question.

Why? Because safety isn’t just about statistics. It’s about where you feel aligned.

?? The Illusion of Security in a High School Diploma ??

This one really sends people into a spiral. ?? “How will your kids get jobs without a diploma?” ?? “What if they want to go to college?”

And yet… what does a high school diploma actually do? ?? Teach kids they can only go to the bathroom twice per class? ?? Convince them that hiring help is “cheating” instead of one of the most valuable business skills on the planet?

Entrepreneurship is about unlearning the things that kept you “safe” in a system designed for employees. If my kids want to build something big, I’d rather they learn how to hire, delegate, and think for themselves.

I grew up watching my dad—a carpenter—walk across trusses effortlessly. To me (someone who gets sweaty palms just looking at a ladder), it was incredible. But it taught me something important:

?? What is terrifying for me might be effortless for someone else. ?? And I don’t want to limit my kids based on my fears.

So guess what? They’ve tested their own limits. ?? One jumps out of planes in the military. ?? One free solo rock climbs. ?? One is an aspiring author, pursuing his own creative path.

They don’t know they’re supposed to be afraid. Because they’ve been taught to find their own edges.

?? The Illusion of “Good” Parenting in Limiting Screen Time ??

A lot of people believe kids need to be protected from technology. They think screen time is dangerous. I don’t.

Why? Because Kevin and I are on our screens all day. ?? We work on them. ?? We grocery shop, book flights, research, and connect. ?? We run a business, create impact, and design our life with screens.

So why would I teach my kids that screens are “bad”?

If anything, I want them to master the tools of the world they’re actually living in. The same way I don’t limit books, I don’t limit tech. What I do encourage is intentionality.

?? Are you using this to learn, grow, connect, or create? ?? Or are you using this to numb out and avoid your own expansion?

The same question applies to every fear-based rule we follow.

?? The Real Question: Can You Trust Yourself?

Because this isn’t just about home births, Mexico, diplomas, or screen time.

?? This is about what YOU are doing because it actually feels right vs. what you’re doing because fear told you it’s the “safe” choice.

?? This is about where YOU are holding yourself back because someone else told you their version of safety.

?? This is about unlearning the rules that kept you comfortable but won’t serve you in expansion.

?? The Entrepreneurs Who Are Called to Big Things…

Our clients come to us because they’ve done the work—but they feel like they’re one inch away from a breakthrough.

But guess what? That next level you want?

It’s going to require letting go of everything that kept you “safe” up to this point.

?? The business owner who won’t delegate—because school taught them that hiring is “cheating.” ?? The leader who hesitates to invest—because they were taught that money = security. ?? The entrepreneur who stays small—because stepping fully into their power feels risky.

We help them unlearn all of it.

?? Because the version of you who will reach that next level is NOT the version that stayed safe before.

?? Because the life and business you’re called to create are NOT built on other people’s fears.

?? Because you already know what’s next—it’s just time to trust yourself enough to step into it.

?? Final Question: Where Are YOU Still Living In The Illusion of Fear?

?? What decisions are you making because they’re actually aligned? ?? And what decisions are you making just because fear is telling you to?

Be honest with yourself. Because the truth?

?? You’re one step away from expansion. ?? And the only thing in your way is the illusion of fear.

?? If this hit you, drop a ?? in the comments or DM me. Let’s talk about unlearning what’s holding you back.

#Entrepreneurship #Expansion #BelieveCrew #UnlearnFear #TrustYourself