The Illusion of Effort: Why Ego Keeps Us Stuck

This morning, while out for a walk with our Bernese Mountain Dog, Charlie, and our Golden Retriever, Jack, I found myself reflecting on a conversation I had yesterday with an incredible woman.

She owns a consulting firm—a business she once loved—but lately, she’s been feeling drained.

“I just don’t love it anymore,” she admitted.

Not because she isn’t good at what she does. Not because her clients don’t see value in her work. But because she’s exhausted from the chase. The constant cycle of feast or famine. The unpredictable revenue. The endless effort to bring in new clients, only to start the process all over again.

We talked through her situation, laid out a strategy to stabilize her revenue, and identified clear steps to shift from chasing opportunities to attracting them. She knew what she needed to do.

But she hesitated.

Her real challenge wasn’t a lack of opportunity—it was ego.

Struggle is Safer Than Change

Because here’s the thing about the ego: It convinces us that struggle is safer than change. It whispers, You’ve worked so hard to get here—what if you throw it all away? It keeps us in motion, even in the wrong direction, because stopping to recalibrate feels like failure.

As I listened to her, I could almost feel her frustration—like a bird repeatedly flying into a glass window. Bang. Bang. Bang. She could sense the fresh air from an open door just a few feet away, yet she wouldn’t turn around and walk through it.

The chase—exhausting as it is—had become familiar. And the ego thrives in familiarity, even when it’s painful.

"The ego thrives in familiarity, even when it’s painful"

It tells us that if we just try harder, we’ll eventually break through. That if we just keep grinding, success will come.

But breakthroughs don’t happen by force. They happen when we pause, step back, and finally challenge the voice that says, this is just the way things are.

So if you’ve been feeling stuck in the chase, ask yourself:

Is this really the only way? Or is there a door I’ve been too afraid to walk through?

Let’s talk—drop a comment below with your thoughts.

And if this resonates with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it today.

Who and How I Help

I help consultants escape the exhausting feast-or-famine cycle, reclaim their love for their work, and build a business that brings both financial success and peace of mind—without the endless chase.

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