I'll have a Dignity-Rich latte, please? Make that a large.

Gazing away from my laptop screen for a moment, in mindfulness about my work at hand, my attention breaks as I notice an elderly lady sitting at the table beside me. She looked a little confused, and a little agitated, as she looked down from the menu and up again, searching for a waiter. Eventually her gaze met mine, when I asked, "Is everything okay?"

She glanced at me nervously and then finally asked, "Would you know if they provide table service here?". Hand over heart I replied, "I'm so sorry, you will need to order at the counter first... however I can place my bag here to save your spot so you don't lose the table?" She thanked me with a mixture of frustration of there not being clear communication of no table service, and also gratitude at my offer to save her spot - which she accepted.

After returning to her table, she was about to sit down, and I stopped her. (because I recall wanting to sit at that very table when I had arrived myself, but the couch seating was not clean and needed a wipe. Hence why I chose the adjoining table to set-up base, and she hadn't noticed this when she sat down initially. "Um, Ms., that spot does need a clean, give me one moment and I can grab someone to wipe that down for you?" In her delicately aged voice she replied, "Oh, yes, it does need a wipe doesn't it?", her voice also smiling this time, with the feeling of knowing that... somebody...cares enough. So up I get, making my way to the counter, requesting for help, and finally her table is ready for her to enjoy her order. With dignity. Just as she sits down she turns to me, "Oh, it's a bit wet now, I'll need to wait a minute for it to dry...", she lightly giggles with exasperation from the experience of this café thus far.

My heart felt equally exasperated, so I pulled out the un-used serviette under my empty latte glass, leant over and gave her seat a quick wipe. Such a simple act. She was glowing. Finally, she was able to sit down in the company of her solitude and begin the anticipation of when her food will arrive. I return to my laptop and my work.

As I sat there, I just could not help but checking in on her, purely as a well-intentioned onlooker. Just when we both thought she'll now enjoy the rest of her meal, the young woman bringing out her plate took it to the wrong table. This lady was well and truly upset now, as she called out to her in disappointment to redirect the meal. She looks at me, and I look at her, and we gave each what I would term an empathy-eye-hug.

So I'm here, tick-tacking away at the keys on my laptop, and again, was drawn to look over. This woman was feeling sadness, I could sense it. She was not in solitude, she. was. lonely. If we talk about social-emotional wellbeing as part of wellness, this opportunity was looking at me right in the face. I close my laptop, turn to her, and in good-faith start conversing with her to connect with her, but being so careful as to ensure she does not feel I am taking pity. No one wants pity. We all seek genuine connections of empathy and compassion, that maintain our dignity.

Oh gosh oh gosh, only the most cliché opening questions are springing to mind, and then I take a mindfulness moment of breathing and finally settle for this classic, "So, what do you have planned for the day?" "Oh not much, just here, feeling a bit lonely really... you know your kids and grandchildren get busy in their own lives..." her hands tremble as she adjusts the fork in her plate.

"Hm... I can understand. What age are your grandchildren?" Before I knew it, the conversation developed into hobbies about her grandchildren, their ages, habits, quirks and more. Then a tired silence. "What are some of your hobbies?" I interpret, "Oh I'm not really good at doing much..." to which I respond bewildered, "Oh I don't believe that for one. single. moment." I ensure I am applying full body language etiquette, turning my body to her, open-inviting posture to show her she has my full attention and I sincerely wish to indulge in conversation with her. She giggles with sweet flattery and a hint of embarrassment.

Then her whole face changes form. Sadness. Hurt. She proceeds to open up to me with the most intimate revelation... "Well... well..." she breaks our gaze of eye-contact,"...this year has been... has been... a little bit difficult..." her voice sobbing... "I lost my elder brother and my elder sister, and well... it just gets a bit lonely"...at this point my heart has sunk to the bottom of the ocean. "I'm so sorry..." , "...you know I'm one of 9 siblings, and 5 have moved on... I'm the youngest"

Conversation now, is at the heart of her loneliness and frustration. Like a rock being moved so that the water can flow, this lady began sharing her deepest feelings around injustices in the healthcare system, how she feels her sister's life could have been, how she could have and should have been treated better in the hospital she had been admitted to, the times they spent together, memories of laughter, of how she supported her, the family dynamics, the moment she spent with her sister right up until her dying breathe...

We would have spent almost a half hour chatting, and the whole time my intention was to listen with mindfulness. Listen to her feelings. Her thoughts. Her expression. Her pains. Her joys. Her sadness... Her self-criticism... Her self-compassion... To listen to... Her. Non-judgementally, with acceptance of what can be changed and what can't, with curiosity of her story, with gentleness for her words and feelings, with openness of what she had to share.

By the end of our conversation, she had nailed the source of her pain and was able to verbalise it in summary, "You know what bothers me, it's that... it's that..." She searches carefully for the word... "Dignity. She didn't die with dignity!" she exclaims disgustedly.

"Oh look I didn't mean to bore you with this story, but thank you for the chat." she smiles at me like a gracious queen. "It was my pleasure, thank you so much for indulging me into such a special part of your heart and life..."... "Yes, well I better get going now..." she says, "Yes, me too" I reply. As I finish saying that, one of the wait staff approach us to request if we could please sit on the same table as they had become quite busy now, needed the space, and could tell we were clearly engaged in a rich conversation. "That's okay, we were both actually about to leave now..." I affirm reassuringly with a smile.

Should I. Shouldn't I? The science tells us. We know how important physical touch is to nurturing bonds, connections and relationships... and they are equally important in healing us. It was too important to let go, "Do you mind if I give you a hug?" I request unsurely given our COVID situation and a mask over everyone's mouth or at least hanging off their ear. She smiled warmly and welcomingly... "Yes... of course..."

We embraced. I made it a conscious effort to really 'hold her' in the embrace. A tight embrace, which I intentionally held onto for longer than the usual, with each extra second feeling unfamiliar, unusual and yet doubling with compassion, human-connectedness, empathy and love. Human companionship with every passing second. Finally after the release... she looks me in the eyes and gives me blessings for my day ahead.

Two humans. Never met before. Bonding in conversation. Crossing paths, exchanging more than a story... exchanging compassion, love... and dignity. I walk towards the fresh food market, and she towards the rest of her day... maybe not with a literal spring in her step... but with her 'bucket filled'... or maybe we'll say... her 'coffee-cup filled' with the energy of love in our conversation. Expressed simply through mindfulness listening. If you are not familiar, "bucket filling" is a term created by Carol McCloud for her popular children's picture storybook teaching the secret: “Be a Bucket Filler. Be Kind.” which I posted about here.

I don't want to think about how the rest of that lady's day would have gone if she left that café, more lonely than she arrived. Looking after each other's wellness does not need to be a pre-planned, grand gesture. We can find these in our everyday lives, all around us, as long as we have the mindfulness of being gentle, open, curious, accepting and non-judgmental. Of practising mindfulness listening, and maintaining the dignity of those we meet, which I may also term as, heartful listening. I hope this story inspires you to, go out of your way, or conversely, see the cues around you.... that invite you to pursue social-emotional Wellness for yourself, and for those sitting. Right. Next to you.

Mindfulness listening fills cups with love.