If IKEA was a mobile phone…

... every couple of weeks you would wake up to a software update;

... as a result, the sofa will have been moved to the kitchen, and the TV into the bathtub;

... the "toast" function of your toaster was discontinued, but it now can record movies;

... your living room has a new greenish colour scheme - yet plants sadly aren't supported any more;

... your door now mandates two-factor-authentication;

... your books were moved to the basement, but you now have a prominently displayed Kindle on the shelf that you can activate for a little monthly fee;

... the new content filtering policy blocks any visitors wearing flip-flops;

... and your toilet got a bit buggy - if that happens, please uninstall it, reinstall it, and try registering your business with a different email address.

Has it ever struck you to what extent your mobile phone is controlled by other people? Legally, you obviously never have bought the software that runs your phone and that is responsible for the countless changes brought upon you by incessant updates; you have licensed it, and you could not have done so without accepting a license agreement allowing its manufacturer almost any perceivable mischief being inflicted on your phone. The problem is that you didn't have much choice – unless you're an IT wizard, you essentially can't operate a phone these days without some version of iOS or Android, and you definitely can't live your life for longer than a couple of minutes without a smartphone – just try switching on those smart lights!

It's also obviously in our interest that such software is regularly updated to fix bugs. Adding new functionalities already may often turn out to be a double-edged sword because the growing complexity may outweigh their usefulness. But arbitrarily changing the position of the delete button, the formatting, and other things without any overwhelming need?

I find two things rather stunning when it comes to software updates (and MS Windows is not any better here than mobile operating systems and individual apps):

1. Developers seem to have developed an arrogance and sense of entitlement when it comes to dictating their aesthetical whims onto millions of innocent users that previously only has been seen amongst autocrats. When Coca Cola thought it fit to change their formulation in 1985, they faced a mighty backlash in spite of endless testing prior to the change and brought back the original formulation after just 77 days; today, we are happy if after a software update at least WhatsApp and email still work. If not, we can't go back to the earlier software version, however; it's written in the small print.
2. There is clearly no appreciation by developers of the amount of time it takes a user to find existing functions that have been moved, let alone to cope with situations where a function has been removed or materially altered or corrupted by a bug. To illustrate, MS Windows used to have pervasive discoverability – e.g., the scroll bar on the right side of a window was always visible, giving a clue that there might be more to see further down. In some Windows 11 apps the bar now is invisible unless you hover over it with the mouse – so if you miss the fact that a window doesn't display all of its content, you may never discover what's hidden below. Computers used to have thick manuals; today you are supposed to somehow know or find the solution in a blog. For old people, software updates are a particular challenge as they struggle with learning new procedures. A young user knows that the delete symbol must be somewhere – so the geek is very likely to figure out that the new UFO-esque icon floating at the opposite side of the screen of where the trash bin icon used to be must be its latest incarnation; old people often will give up in frustration (or alternatively wreak havoc with settings by experimenting with the wrong icon) and gradually lose their ability to actually use the expensive device they have bought, with all the high second-order cost such as losing contact with family members or their ability to independently manage their affairs such as online banking. My poor Dad says that every. single. time. he wants to submit invoices for reimbursement by his health insurance, the app has completely changed, and between himself and my Mom he is dealing with three different insurers – every time he sounds more desperate and spends more time figuring things out. At a minimum, the travails of old people waste huge amounts of time of their children, grandchildren, and neighbors when these people must help them to recover lost functionalities following each software update.

And don't even let me get started on software updates being abused to trick users into buying costly new subscriptions or upgrades from free to for-pay versions!

Considering this, I find it utmost surprising that there is no ethos and generally accepted imperative that every software upgrade must strive to minimize any disruption to the user experience. And in the odd case that the survival of an Android app really depends on moving the trash bin icon around, there should be a mandatory big button "help – I'm lost after the upgrade" where a painstakingly detailed tutorial takes users along. With most Western societies increasingly aging, the need for this is only growing. If developers don't get their act together on this soon, consumers should learn from the successful revolt against the New Coke in 1985 – or it may be time for regulators to "update" the system! In the end, it's a question what property rights mean for my mobile phone in the digital age. And I don't see why Apple or Google should have more leeway in moving around stuff in my digital real estate than what IKEA would get away with even in their wildest dreams (slumbering on a KLIPPAN sofa) if it comes to "updating" my furniture!

What are your greatest peeves when it comes to software updates? How do you think we as users can best be protected from mischief caused by overbearing developers? If you are a developer, what steps do you take already to minimize the "cost of change" to users, and what else could be done to improve this situation? And if you're a mobile phone, would you please stop laughing at me?