Igniting the spark within, How coaching brings in deeper awareness

Growing up, summer vacations were almost always in my grandparents home in Mercara, a quaint hill station in the district of Coorg, Karnataka. My grandparents house was over a 100 years old with an old kitchen where food would be cooked over firewood. Of course we had a modern kitchen in the 90s but I was fascinated about the entire process of cooking food over firewood. Coal or firewood would be lit but for the fire to be ignited my Grandmom would use a cylindrical hollow iron bar called the ‘Kholope” in the Coorg language. I am sure this was the case across different Indian hill stations just the name or reference may be different. She would blow into it gentle, steady and with pauses at the right intervals. Slowly and slowly the flames would be seen and in sometime we had a good fire lit for the vessel to be placed over it.

So when I was asked to pick a metaphor for coaching I was reminded of the cylindrical hollow iron bar. Every individual has a spark within waiting to be ignited. The hollow iron bar is what helps in the process of building self awareness for the coachee. This self awareness is a long process and it takes a while as the coachee is nudged into thinking and questioning their assumptions and perceptions of what has been their conditioning over years and years. It does not get ignited with one harsh blow but requires a gentle, steady and consistent nudge to get the thinking process going. This of course requires a lot of patience and intentional listening from the coach without any judgement and without a frame of reference that colours the coachee’s thinking process. Just the right amount of probing and questioning to get them to start thinking and unlearning. The result is of course magical as the coach sees the fire within burning and the coachee gets clarity and is able to get their inner spark ignited. Coaching is a process of discovery for both the coach and the coachee where the coach comes in to the conversation after ‘emptying’ themselves, with a clear mind and eventually helps the coachee in the process of self awareness and discovery of the answers to their questions.

It is said that the journey is as exciting as the destination, all we need is to embrace it with awareness. Embracing this path of self awareness as I breathe gentle, steady and consistent to ignite the inner spark within.

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