Idiotopedia: The Modern Love Affair

Disclaimer: This is just me, an overthinker with WiFi and limited access to my notebook! Allow me to make something clear: this is just my view. Do not hold on to your phone like Gollum does to his precious ring! This is an honest opinion from someone who has seen way too many people watch other people, not watch each other. If you've thought about it, I fully back your moment of clarity, but I'm not here to tell you to throw your phone into the ocean. Yes, I'm just a guy who pays attention. I've also noticed that we're all acting a bit...dull. That includes me. Anyway, read this Idiotopedia with an open mind. You're not alone if, by the end of this, you start to wonder why you check your phone 150 times a day for no reason!

Let start!        

Again, I watch people. Not in a weird, stalkerish way, but in a way that shows you are interested in how people behave. I pay attention to how individuals walk into a room, how they talk to each other, and how their eyes move when they see something that interests them. However, I have recently observed something a little disturbing: people no longer look each other in the eye. Someone reflexively reaches for their phone, interrupting conversations in the middle of a phrase. The bright screen appears with a break in the action, an uncomfortable silence, or a lack of stimulation.?

Well, it seems people are afraid of being alone with their thoughts. Their compulsive screen-checking is not simply for entertainment; it is a means for them to escape. What are you trying to escape from? The feeling of boredom? What about the discomfort? The burden of their existence? Perhaps all of the above.?

However, I can say that let's not deceive ourselves. Our addiction is not limited to smartphones. We are obsessed with being distracted.?

The Algorithm That Knows You Better Than You Know Yourself!        

The scary part isn't that we spend so much time on our phones. It's scary because we don't even know it's happening. This is what I think: making choices! We think we're in charge. But are we??

Let me share something I saw recently: A group of teens is sitting in a circle at a food court. They were all staring at their phones and barely talking to each other. At the same time, they were both alone. Like most of our interactions, their interactions had been turned into emojis and "seen" receipts (like WhatsApp, Telegram, etc.). Well, tech companies (like Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and now RedNote) know more about us than we do about ourselves. Your phone knows when you wake up, how often you check for updates, and what makes you feel a certain way. The algorithm doesn't just tell you what to read; it changes your world, behavior, and even other parts of life and beliefs! #sigh??

Have you ever had a strange thought, and suddenly, your feed is full of ads about it? There's no chance of that. That's spying, which looks like ease of use. You are the item, not the customer. Yeah, it gets worse, though: the people who made this drug knew precisely what they were doing.

I read online that Steve Jobs did not allow his kids to use iPads, Bill Gates also ensured that his kids didn't spend too much time in front of screens, and many business leaders in Silicon Valley don't let their kids use social media. Why? Because they know that these tools are designed to change your brain and not just make you more dependent on them.

Imagine that AI is built into the smart apps we use daily. This makes us dependent on them, not just more, but required. Our every need will be met before we know it because everything will be automatic, optimized, and customized. No more work or thinking, just instant pleasure with the touch of a screen or the sound of a voice order. AI won't just tell you what it thinks you might like; it will choose for you. It will choose your news, entertainment, and conversations for you and even ask you to breathe because thinking for yourself is too much work.?

This is where things get dangerous. The more AI makes us feel at ease, the more control we give up (yeah, like ChatGPT, Gemini, recent DeepSeek, and others). Making decisions becomes passive. Choices become false ideas. The apps will know you're hungry before your stomach does, recommend content to you before you even realize you're bored, and guide you toward products, views, and actions that match the profile of data they've collected on you. Addiction will no longer feel like addiction; it will feel like ease. The most scary part? The cage is so thin that you will not even be aware that you are enclosed within it, and it is pretty comfortable.

A Lab Rat in Your Own Life??        

Once, I read a survey article that said most people look at their phones 150 times a day, or every 6 minutes. Imagine having someone say, "Check this," in your ear every 6 minutes while you're thinking. Take a look. "Don't miss it." #Argh! Doesn't that sound like a lot of work? Even so, that's what we agreed to do. And yes, nowadays, technology is not only what we use; it is what we use.?

Apps are made to look like slot machines. You could get a new reward every time you refresh, like a like, a review, or a message. The unknown is what draws you back. It's called intermittent reinforcement, and it's the same idea behind why gambling is so addicting. Well, it's not what you think it is—scrolling through Instagram or TikTok trains your brain to want praise from strangers.?

Another thing is the fear of missing out (FOMO), the worry about falling behind, and the worry that you won't be useful if you don't keep up.?

That's why there are alerts. They're not there to keep you awake at night but to make you nervous. Every ding or sound sends a small amount of the cortisol stress hormone into your body, making you feel like something important must be done immediately. You check. Check once more. Once more. And in the end, you no longer have free will to do what you want. The app is telling you what to do.

The Digital Disconnection        

And I believe everyone has already realized that we are more "connected" than ever, but we are also more lonely than at any age before us. We talk less and write more (like me, #lol). When it comes to posts, we forget birthdays. We take in a lot of information, but none makes us happy.

Social media was supposed to bring us together but has made us less close. We feel like we're not good enough when we see how great TikTok, Instagram, or RedNote are. Thanks to the mighty Ellon, Twitter (or now X) is a steady source of anger that makes us always feel bad. We are always looking at something but never really seeing it because of the never-ending loop of doomscrolling.

Also, what about the younger people? I can say loudly that they are the test subjects. They are experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety and sadness. Nowadays, paying attention is getting so hard that a 10-minute movie seems too long. Deep thought, patience, and discipline are skills that helped build societies, but they are being lost one push notification at a time. We used to fear machines would take over the world, but we intentionally gave them the keys.

No One Sees Coming        

After all of this, it should be easy to see what to do: break up with your phone, get rid of social media, cut down on screen time, get your attention back, and be present. And here's where the bad news comes in: WE DON'T WANT TO!?

We do not wish to be left out. We'd rather not be idle. Something very scary about being alone with our thoughts makes us not want to do it. That means the phone isn't the real bad guy. It's ourselves!

It's easier to get distracted than to think about ourselves. We choose endless browsing because the real world is too much to handle. We give up our time, attention, and feelings because it's too scary to imagine life without these digital aids.

So the question is no longer, "Can you break up with your phone?" It is, "Are you ready to face who you are without it?"

What do you think? Any other thoughts?