Identity Shifting

As I sit at an open theater facing the sea amidst the serene beauty of Puglia Italy, reflecting on my personal journey, I am in awe of the possibilities in life.

How did I come to live in Italy?

It was a daydream that surfaced after my wife, Desiree, passed away following an eleven-year journey with metastatic breast cancer, leaving us almost penniless at that point. From there, I asked myself two questions:

1. What did I miss about the husband identity that died with Desiree?
2. What would be an incredible story to come from this unwanted life change?

So I embarked on a new path, eventually becoming a life coach, author, and advocate for intentional living. This journey highlights the profound and transformative power of identity shifting — a concept that has not only influenced my life but has also touched the lives of countless individuals who’ve I’ve had the honor or working with.

The Dance of Identity

Our identity, the essence of who we are, is a construct — not some fix set of beliefs, thoughts, and habits we are forced to live out until we die. It’s a delicate balance, and at times, it can feel like we’re tethered to who we once were, held back by the past. But what if I told you that your identity is 100% what you decide it to be? What if I encouraged you to envision a new version of yourself and dance toward that future identity with grace and intention?

“It’s your choice who you can become, and by making that choice, life transforms into a journey.” — Robert Pardi

The Genesis of Identity Shifting

Identity shifting is not a concept I stumbled upon by chance; it’s a philosophy that has emerged from a lifetime of exploration and transformation.

In my youth, without a name for the concept, I consciously shifted my identity to become the hero of my own story, conquering the formidable challenges imposed by my upbringing in the shadow of an alcoholic father. To quell the anxieties of my inner child, I adopted the persona of J.R. Ewing, believing money would provide a sense of freedom and safety, which ultimately led me to the world of finance. This, after all, is the narrative society relentlessly impresses upon us — that money is the universal panacea. Yes, I grew up during the era of Dynasty, Dallas, and Gordon Gekko.

Yet, it was in my adult years that I fully grasped the profound impact of identity shifting when it’s fueled by inspiration rather than desperation. It was only when I summoned the courage to consciously challenge societal norms while watching my wife gradually fade from my life due to cancer that I got my first real glimpse into the awe-inspiring potential of identity shifting.

Through a journey filled with self-exploration, deliberate intention, and the courage to embrace change, I shifted my identity from a banker living by societal expectations to reimagining my life by becoming a life coach and author while living by my own design in the breathtaking landscapes of Italy.

Practice Yourself into Being

“The person you are today you have practiced into being throughout your life.” — Robert Pardi

The essence of identity shifting lies in the belief that you can “practice yourself into being.” As we shift from our past self to our future self, it’s not simply about changing behavior. It’s about rewiring the core of who we are. You see, behavior is driven by our self-concept, or identity. If we don’t work on shifting that identity, we’ll forever be fighting a losing battle to change behaviors rooted in our old models.

Our brains are wired to see what we expect to see. Just like when you play the game “I spy,” you notice the objects you’ve chosen. Similarly, when you envision your future self and act from that place, your brain opens up to perceive things that support that new identity.

Unearthing the True You

“Your tribe is your vibe.” — Robert Pardi

Letting go of the unnecessary is where the journey begins. Consider the tribe you belong to, the environment you’re in, the situations you participate in, your achievements, and your experiences. Do they align with who you want to become? Are they worth keeping, or do they need to be eliminated to make space for your evolution?

It’s not a journey without its growing pains, and yes, you will fail forward. But as you stumble, you’ll also learn to walk. It is said we fall something like nineteen times an hour when we are learning to walk as a child. Each fall was a lesson, a step forward.

Your 2.0 Self

“Your future self should be a ‘hell yeah, that person is cool!’” — Robert Pardi

As you shift your identity, your 2.0 self eventually becomes your new baseline. Personal growth and identity shifting are not destinations; they are lifelong journeys. They require you to stop resisting what is and start reimagining what could be.

In the grand scheme of life, where everything is impermanent, nothing is fixed. No one was born into an unbreakable mold. As you shift your identity, you’ll leave who you were, love who you are, and look forward with curiosity and enthusiasm to who you choose to become.

Embrace the Future You

In conclusion, as I sip my espresso and savor the beauty of Italy, I implore you to embrace identity shifting. Let go of the past that no longer serves you and practice yourself into being the person you truly desire to become.

Action Step: To take your first step toward embracing an identity shift, begin a journaling practice. Each day, jot down one thing you envision for your future self, whether it’s a goal, a trait, or a new experience you’d like to have. Over time, this practice will help you create a clearer vision of your future identity and open the door to positive change.

“Goals are but the echoes of the identity we believe can achieve them” — Robert Pardi

Please visit my website www.robertpardi.com if you would like to learn more about me and my philosophy of Possibility in Action?. #possibilityinaction

Robert Pardi Author Page

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