The Identity game

No matter how individualistic any given society is (and North America shines in this field), so much of our personal identity comes from the circles and the sub-cultures we move in. Regardless of our age, we carry an almost adolescent need to be accepted and included - our lives almost depend on it. This need to belong causes us to spend large amounts of time searching for our own image on those who surround us - almost as if we're looking for a reflection to define us - instead of looking within. We even find ourselves saying or doing things that go against our instinct. We do this just to be part of a group that, for some reason, we aspire to be part of. But reflections are never true. They are just reflections.

When our identity is based on a single, prevalent set of values that have been learned and relearned from generation to generation, there's nothing to compare ourselves with but our own kind. Such is the case of a diminishing number of Indigenous communities who have had very little contact with the rest of the world. But what happens when the original quality of the circle we identify with has been somewhat tarnished by an invading culture - by a foreign set of pre-established standards that view our original values and cultures as sub-standard? That's the challenge most members of our society face on a regular basis. Even when you're born in Canada, your ethnicity or some of the traditions you picked up from your parents can become a discriminating label. And this is no longer a matter of erasing the western mentality "conquistadores" brought on a few centuries ago. No, today, colonization can take place any time you turn your T.V. set on, or open your tablet or your phone. And most attempts to cram people of different ethnicities or genders into a single ad fail to erase the sense of superiority some privileged groups enjoy.

Ethnocentrism is blinding,...

Ethnocentrism is blinding and becoming colour-blind is not the answer. Whenever I get to cross a cultural line, I want to be able to see the differences and respect them and value them without comparing them to mine.

Let me challenge you today to find your identity within you - not outside - and to catch yourself before you think of differences as superior or inferior. Cross-cultural interactions work best when the conversation is not about replacing but rather about respecting and enriching one another.