“The idea that we’ll have one job, one relationship, one spirituality, one source of happiness from adolescence to assisted living, is dead."

Bruce Feiler is no stranger to big life transitions or nonlinear living.?He spent a year as a circus clown, became a 7-time bestselling author, and survived cancer while raising young twin daughters with his wife (and his Council of Dads). His?most recent book,?Life is in the Transitions,?was published?during the biggest collective disruption most of us have ever faced in our lifetime.?Ariana Huffington said, "it’s one of those books that’s so profoundly aligned with the zeitgeist that you end up underlining the whole book." Enough said.??

His research spans thousands of hours of interviews to help us understand?the ways in which?life isn’t quite how we expected it to be.?And, if we can realign our expectations and better equip ourselves for inevitable life transitions, it can be even more full than we'd hoped.?Bruce is?truly a?thought leader in how we?perceive contemporary life with more understanding, intention, and heart.??

In our conversation he said, we all have a story where our life has been upended, but we don’t know how to tell that story.?And on top of that, we haven’t built the skills to process them. Bruce’s book has changed that.??

From Within the Arena?

The linear life is dead:?The idea that you “should” be?hitting certain milestones in life?on?a specific schedule?isn’t true. Bruce says the idea of lineation is a historical aberration. In other words, it's the exception, not the rule. And yet, so many of us measure our success in life according to the expectations?that we are in a certain job, a successful?relationship, have children,?live in a desirable home that we own (the list goes on) by a specific point in life.?Take a moment to think about how this applies to your life.

The majority of his research participants tell a much different story about their lives than the one you were likely sold.??

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“Forget the midlife crisis, it’s the whenever-life crisis”:?The nonlinear life involves many more life transitions-?around 3 dozen?disrupting events?in our lifetimes.?They can range from relationships (ending or beginning), health issues with parents, having children and the many phases they go through, being fired, changing your career entirely. In his thousands of hours of research, Bruce found 52 life disruptors.?1 in 10 of these?become this massive burst?of change- a lifequake.?

On average, each person will experience?3-5?lifequakes?in their lifetime lasting?4-5 years.?If that's the case, wouldn't everyone want to be prepared?

Life?transitions?are a skill we can and must master: Lifequakes aren’t all bad.?"Life is in the transitions" is his book's title because there is so much "juice to squeeze" during a life transition.?But in order to manage through them, there are skills we must learn. In the episode, Bruce shares the skills he found in his research to be most meaningful for life transitions.?We can?all?get better at this lifelong sport that no one is teaching us how to play...until now.?

The stories in this book will break your heart. And the emergent process of healing through lifequakes, will mend it. This is an episode you won't want to miss.

Want to join me in the arena? Become a part of our community! Every Thursday at 12pm PT/3pm ET, I'll be?live with a partner from LinkedIn for a conversation focused on you and your growth. We'll talk about the topic from the week's episode and how to apply your learning towards action & personal/professional transformation.

Check out more of?In the Arena?on?Apple Podcasts?and please rate and review our show once you subscribe. Want to get in touch? Email me at?[email protected]

Thanks for coming on the journey!

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Jumping in with Kevin Delaney on Leading An Extraordinary Life

Jonathan Haidt on The Happiness Hypothesis