I’d rather Reach the Pinnacle of Maturity, than Masculinity.
What would you choose?
Comment your answers here. I’d appreciate it. If not comfortable, you can leave private notes too.
Meanwhile, let’s get into it.
I choose and I will choose it as long you ask me that question. Maturity over Masculinity.
I am from India, specifically from a place called Hyderabad. If you haven’t heard, a 27-year-old girl,?Priyanka Reddy, was gang-raped and then burnt to get rid of the evidence. This, one case, was the only one that came to light because it was beneficial for the view count of every news channel and social media activist.
“Thereafter, the accused allegedly tortured and strangulated the victim which was reported in autopsy report. The body was transported in a lorry along with her scooter to Shadnagar. Her body was then wrapped in a bed-sheet, doused in kerosene and set afire.”
On?the same day, at least 6 other women and girls were raped and left to be scarred for life. They didn’t make the news.
Either no one talks or they aren’t let to. It has become a norm here. There are more than 90% of cases in India that go unreported.
I am not here to debate the facts of rapes and the losses of the victims. That is too high a price to pay.
I am here to question, a very fundamental question.
Why?
Why did it happen in the first place?
What gave way to it?
What was the stimulus for such vile thinking?
There are some answers provided by a few?‘highly-educated' and?‘spiritual’?men and women. And you will know soon why such thinking can be very harmful to men but mostly to women.
The?answer?is the clothing/raiment/attire/outfit and so on.
Girls wearing?short skirts?and?crop tops,?bikinis?and?one-pieces,?party wear?and?tight clothes.
Yep, that is the reason why women are raped and why they?should?be raped. I am not kidding, a woman in Hyderabad’s mall was recorded saying to a girl that she?should?be raped for wearing?small?garments.
It is not that only men can influence men to do bad things. Women have a role in this too, a lot, if not as much as of the men.
The other?reasons?— and when I say reasons I don’t mean they are real reasons, they are the?opinions?of millions, which according to them are not opinions, rather?facts?— are marital rape, she is a slut, too friendly, gives away signals, has too many male friends, and so on.
Please understand that these excuses do not just pop in someone’s head as they grow up. No one is born with these thoughts. They are embedded in us as we are raised by our family and friends.
A good upbringing goes a long way.
From what I can see, the root of all this lies in the thinking that a man or a woman develops in the journey he/she reaches adulthood.
I started this article with masculinity and maturity. No feminism. Why? The cause for rape, in my opinion, is the?wrong?definition of masculinity?that is portrayed in society.
Men are taught to?work and earn bread. Women are asked to?take care of kids and food.
Men have the freedom to?make their own decisions.?Women have the freedom to?ask their men.
Men are asked to be?strong and brave.?Women are asked to?wait for their men?to save them.
Men can roam shirtless because it is?hot. Women should be raped because they show ‘the cleavage’.
You and I can go on and on with this.
These are the common ones that come to my mind. There are some very disgusting reasons men and women give to justify patriarchy and masculinity.
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Patriarchy must die.
Patriarchy must die. There is no other option. I know there are women that are taking illicit advantage of feminism and women empowerment. That is condemnable. Very much so.
But, we cannot?justify?one crime for another. That is savage and inhumane. When we do that, we lose our basic existential characteristic —?of being a human. We are humans first, and then male or female, Hindu or Muslim, White or Black, Asian or African.
It is this reason that I said maturity over anything because maturity doesn’t?bias. It is not associated with a specific gender, race, caste, or color. It just is. It makes the best of a human being possible. It gifts you with all the amazing and awesome characteristics that could make this world a better place, for real.
Understanding, humility, kindness, empathy, forgiveness, humbleness, love, and so on.
Imagine you driving through harsh traffic and suddenly you bump into a car. The driver immediately stops the car, gets out, and comes to you. You roll down the mirror and all he/she says is ‘It is cool. Happens to all of us. Just drive safe.’
How would you feel? Fantastic, right?
In fact, you would want to be?kind?to someone else after that. You might have seen that video in which one kindness?ripples?away and then everyone in that chain does a?random?act of kindness, no matter how small.
It is a cliche, I know. But, there is always some truth to a cliche. That is why it is a cliche, isn’t it?
No masculinity or femininity taught him/her to be kind to you. Maturity did. Self-control.
Open your mind or Open your mind.
When you open your mind, things change.
The point where you open your mind is where the magic happens. From here, only positive thoughts will follow. Trust me. I have been there.
I have a habit of talking to?strangers. I have talked to girls, unknown ones. It started a few years ago when I wanted to get rid of my?shyness?and wanted to become more?confident.
I approached girls but I never had any bad intentions (I cannot give you proof, you will have to take my word for it.) I went to them, we talked and smiled, and we parted ways. Done. Never to be seen again. Now that I think about it, they are a?big?part of what I am today.
My point is that I did not advance as a sexual predator. I knew that and they knew that (at least that is what I think) because not a single lady gave me a disgusted look or asked me to flip off. I know that does not imply that they wanted to talk or they liked talking to me.
I know a guy and a girl can be friends, so I did that. I asked for their friendship. Some said yes, others no. Some are still in touch, while most of them are ghosts now.
If I have a right to ask (with good intentions), they have a right to approve or reject and vice versa.
There is No Gender At All
Why are we even discussing genders here? Think about it for a minute. Remove gender filter when you look at people. What do you see? What would you call them? Humans. Right? At least, I would.
That is a world I imagine to be a part of.
Imagine you being treated?fairly.
Imagine we all getting the?same opportunities?as everybody else.
Imagine?not being scared?to take a walk in the middle of the night.
Imagine?wearing whatever you wanted, without having to worry about the looks you will be given.
Imagine being the partner of a?strong woman?and a?proud man.
Call to Action
Thank you for reading. :)