IAMX Reactive and Responding

What does it look like to shift between being reactive and responsive – which sets us up to be creative, innovative, and influential together?

The following graphic shows the responsive and reactive states in your brain, mind, and nervous system.

You’re going to feel the reactions described here in your body. It’s important to not just think about being reactive and responsive but also feel it in your body and emotions. Let's delve further into these states, uncovering how they impact our lives and how we can consciously work towards being more consistently responsive, reactive as needed.

Reactive States: Struggling and Collapsing

There are two reactive states: struggling and collapsing, both of which stem from automatically triggered biological survival mechanisms.

• Collapsing is the state where you feel hopeless and have given up. Your energy is low, and you may find yourself blaming others, thinking that there isn't anything you can do about your situation. It's a constant cycle of going through the motions without genuine engagement.
• Struggling is where most people operate from most of the time. Almost all of the attention is on reacting to a never-ending stream of demands and problems. Your energy is high, and you're focused on making things happen, often through heroic effort. This can lead to burnout.

Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, paints a vivid picture of reactive struggling, saying that it "may not feel awful--you may just carry around a background sense of being pressed, hassled, tense, prickly, drained, inadequate, uneasy, or glum." This is where you never feel like you've done enough, so you keep striving and never arriving at true safety. You can never be enough or do enough.

Reactive states are more about reliving past experiences than embracing the current situation. Being stuck in this loop means replaying your history, not defining your future.

Responsive State: A Path to Freedom

An alternative to being habitually reactive is being in a responsive, connecting state. Here's why this shift is vital:

• Feeling Safe and Capable: In a responsive state, you feel like you are enough and that you can influence the circumstances around you. This mindset leads to sustainable energy, freedom, and possibility.
• Being Your Best Self: When you are connected to your best self, you can weather the storms of stress without being dominated by them. An expansive space opens up for new ideas and energy to emerge, creating room for inspiration.
• Breaking Free from the Past: As you anchor into your responsive best self, you escape from being trapped in endless cycles of burnout, constraint, confusion, and conflict. This shift changes everything gradually; it requires consistent practice. It's not an overnight fix like taking an antibiotic.

A Personal Guide

Don’t try to understand everything in this graphic. Instead, use it as a kind of map that you can look at, and ask yourself: where am I? Reflect on your current state and consider strategies to move from reactivity to responsiveness. For example, getting exercise, meditation, spending time with friends or a pet can help you relax into being responsive.?

Putting It All Together

The reactive and responsive states are not merely abstract concepts. They are deeply connected to our emotions, body, and overall well-being. Making the shift from reactivity to responsiveness is a profound transformation that requires patience, awareness, and intentional practice. By understanding these states and working consciously towards a responsive state, we can tap into our creative, innovative, and influential selves, transforming not only our individual lives but also our collective futures.

Would you like to make sure you’re shifting out of reactive habits? Schedule a call with me here to discuss ways that can happen for you: https://calendly.com/iamx-karen/30-minute-meeting