I Wrote a Strategic Plan for My Life and It Changed Everything

Some people think I'm a superwoman. Or just unbelievably lucky.

I'm neither. Here's what's really going on.

I make 6-figures in a corporate job that I work from home. I'm home to get my kids on and off the school bus every day. We eat dinner as a family every night that we are together. I also run my own business (The Solver Space) as a second income to provide for us, and because when I hit mid-life, helping people directly through coaching was something I felt called to do. I meditate every day, and walk or hike daily when the weather cooperates. I maintain my house, I pay my bills, I write books. I spend time on my marriage, knowing that my husband's love language is quality time. I linger with him over breakfast. I plan a night out for us to do something creative.

That all sounds like A LOT of bragging, but in fact it is simply a list of all the things that I do because I WANT TO DO THEM. I have walked away from doing things just because I feel like I HAVE to. I question the uniquely American notion of go-go-go, never stop hustling, sacrifice what you want for what you HAVE to do. Says who?

People look at my life and assume that I am somehow different from them, more organized, or more powerful, or more SOMETHING, and therefore more capable of crafting and maintaining a "perfect" life.

In fact, there's only one difference between me and you.

I have a strategic plan for my life.

Five years ago, when my then-husband returned from a deployment and asked for a divorce, the whole world crumbled around me. I had done everything I was "supposed" to do up to that point. I had followed all the tabs in the Binder of Life. Go to school. Get your degrees. Get a job. Get married. Buy a house. Have children. Keep your job while you keep your husband and your children and your dog happy. And your house clean. And your body fit.

I was killing myself keeping up with a life that didn't even work out for me in the long run.

With divorce came a totally clean slate, and PERMISSION to toss the Binder of Life. To walk away from how I was SUPPOSED to do things and figure out what I was MEANT to do. I was almost 40, mid-career, and a single mom of two. It was time to do things differently.

I had spent the bulk of my career cultivating a talent to write strategic plans for the military. Strategic planning was a way for a Commander to decide what she wanted her command to accomplish (and, not incidentally, what she DIDN'T want them to do) and then to set goals and objectives for her command to execute that were perfectly aligned with her overall vision.

Why couldn't I use that same process to realign my life? After all, aren't we the Commanders of our own lives?

I set out to describe what I wanted. For starters, I wanted to work from home, but I couldn't afford to lose my income. I set a goal to work from home and then figured out the objectives and tasks I would have to accomplish to get there. I crafted a case for working from home. Check. I set up a meeting with my manager. Check. I brought the case to my manager. Check. And now I'm working from home.

BOOM.

What are you shying away from or denying yourself because you "just don't have time," or "couldn't possibly" do that, or "wouldn't even know where to start?"

More importantly, what are you spinning your wheels doing, just because you "have to?"