"I would like to share something with you "– A dead mother's tale

I was 16 years old; my parents convinced me to get married. At that time I studied in class eight! After getting married, I come to my husband's home. We started our new life. Although living in a semi-urban place at the upazila level, my mother-in-law did not want to continue my education because of my adolescent age, and I might fall at risk while going to school. I concentrate on household work. In the meantime, I have come to know that I am pregnant. I was not ready, but my maternal and husband's families were thrilled to get this news. I didn't have any ideas on what to do during pregnancy. My husband did a lot on this. He took me to the nearby Union Health Centre, where I received antenatal care.

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My mother-in-law told me to eat more food, and she had myths on her mind about different issues. Therefore, she was cautious; for example, she did not allow me to leave the room after evening! It was such an emotional feeling when I felt my baby was inside my womb! I did not have much work to do at home! Most of the time, I spend time talking to my baby; I sing songs, listen to music, and tell stories to my baby! When my baby kicked inside, I felt thrilled, and I was told not to cry or not to be angry, something like that.

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During my seven months of pregnancy, we had a special baby shower at home. Our family members came, expressed their wishes, and also gave me gifts. It was a whole-day event, and we ate a lot. My husband and I made a list of essentials for the baby immediately after birth. We went to the market together and bought everything we needed! We felt so happy and dreamed of seeing our baby!

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At nine months of pregnancy, I had about two weeks to go! My mother-in-law told me it was time to go to my father's house. It's a long historical tradition that the first child should be born at the father's residence. My husband tried to protest because of the facilities available at the upazila level; it would not be easy to get to the village.

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My mother-in-law told me that nothing would happen. She had the same experiences, and they were excellent. At the village level, Dai Ma is there; she will take care of you as needed. Despite my husband's resistance, I had to go to my father's house. My parents were so happy to see me; they knew how to handle the delivery. My mother contacted a dai ma who had tremendous experience and had done hundreds of deliveries. When my husband dropped me off at my father's house, he told me he would come just before delivery and stay for at least a week!

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Five days before the expected date of delivery, one night, suddenly, labour pain started. Our home was so far in the rural village, near the union-level facility, about 5 kilometres away, and the Upazila health complex was about 20 kilometres from our home. My mother called Dai me. She came around 3:00 pm. It was a rainy day, and the electricity supply was cut off. Dai started her work. She told me everything was okay. It would take a bit of time, but no worry; it would be managed.

I was in heavy pain, and I felt that my baby was also feeling uncomfortable; he told me, "Ma, please rescue me as early as you can; I can't stay inside anymore; I feel suffocated.'

I told Dai Ma, “Please deliver my baby”

Dai Ma said, "Give more pressure, and it will come out."

Dai ma tried until the middle of the night. My father called the village doctor, who came when it was heavily raining. The village doctor immediately injected medicine! Nothing improved; he injected again! I did not count how many injections he gave to me!

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Around 4 am, Dai Ma said to my mother that the baby had been obstructed on the passage of delivery, and I needed to take her to the hospital. My pain was intense, and I was crying a lot; despite that, I was trying to connect with my baby.

I told my baby, “Please wait a bit; you will see this beautiful earth and me”.

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My father was running out to get transportation, but due to rain and a muddy road, he was unable to get any. Around 6 am, he managed to get a CNG. I was losing consciousness, unable to understand what was happening, but I continued trying to connect with my baby. My parents took me to Upazila Health Complex, which took about an hour to reach. The doctor examined me and told me that they would not be able to manage. They suggested immediately taking me to the district hospital.

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District Hospital is another 20 kilometres far from the Upazila health complex. My parents were crying so much, but I wasn't able to say anything because I was just about to die. I told my parents to give me a glass of water. My mother gave me my mouth; that was the last drop of water I drank. Yes, I died. Finally, my parents brought me to the district hospital, but it was too late; I died that way! My baby? My baby couldn't able to see this beautiful earth and see me! My baby died before I died due to prolonged and obstructed labour!

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I know, like me, around 5000 women are dying every year due to maternal complications, which means around 13 women per day; I was one of them! I also came to know that obstructed labour is one of the causes of death, account 3% of the total deaths. More than 50% of the women died before reaching the facility. Although many get the facility, it might be too late, like me.

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I left this wonderful world without getting timely and quality care. I did not get the opportunity to have an institutional delivery by a trained midwife, even though 65% of the deliveries are now taking place at the facility level. What did I do? Did I have any fault or mistake which gave me a fatal fate? ?Yes, I am no more; my baby did not see the colour of the sky or the goods we bought, and my baby did not get a chance to use them! What was my baby's fault then?

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Even if I am giving crucial information to you, it's just not a story; it's from a real-life event. I sacrificed my life, but I believe reading my story will make you feel something, and you will try to do something within your capacity for those women who are struggling right now between life and death! ?My tasks are done for now; you did the death review and tried to collect in-depth information from my family members, and my facility told me everything that happened from the time of conception until I died.

Now, the task is yours to point out the preventable factors that can be rectified and the possible responses you may take following my information, which may be trumped in saving mothers' lives.

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I could smile, and we could live a joyful life with my baby and husband, but it kept as a dream forever; I want to see from my story every mother on this earth smile after the delivery of a baby, and no single mother will ever die! Our sacrifice means a lot when that day comes.

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Note: Based on the real story of a woman who died due to maternal complications and information obtained during reviewing the death and it is written in a story form without disclosing individual information