20 Insights From the Duet Voices: Issue 5

The Duet Journal newsletter contains insights from what 20 of the Duet Voices have been sharing on LinkedIn this week. The Duet Voices are a group of 100+ mental health, wellness, and coaching leaders. They are all well worth a follow.

I now write a niche "Journaling for Recruiters and Talent Acquisition" newsletter every Tuesday that focuses on some of my journaling work.

Weekly "Top 3" Duet Voices:

Groupthink. It's why you hear horror stories of nobody pulling the alarm when a train carriage starts smoking. Everyone thinks someone else has got it under control. This is very damaging for your team's output. Here's how to fix it: Allocate 10 minutes to every team meeting to anonymously answer this question: What current problems do we have that you’re assuming someone in the team is dealing with (but you can’t be sure)?” Get these out in the open quickly and you'll not only fix groupthink... you'll also uncover issues that nobody is sharing with you. Tanya Edgar

We often think of mental health and brain health as separate issues, but the latest neuroscience research shows they are inextricably linked. Our brains are the biological source of our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and cognitive abilities. When our brains are not functioning optimally, it directly impacts our mental wellbeing. Fortunately, research shows us that we can change the structure and function of our brains at any age, and we understand more than ever about the things that can improve our mental health and brain health. Naomi Glover

Grief is something that can come and go, it’s not a full-time activity. It’s highly personal as well. It is like a scar on your soul. It doesn’t necessarily hurt, but it leaves a mark. And because it’s left a mark, you can get reminded of the loss you experienced. The trigger for that could be anything; sounds, smells, memories, a certain location. Those feelings of loss will flare up for a short while, and then subside again. The more closure you have, the easier those feelings will be to deal with. But they’ll never completely go away. And that’s a good thing. Because grief is the other side of love. Being able to grieve means being able to love. Matti Kleikamp

What do you need to do in a changing landscape? 1. Shared values and vision: Co-create your vision and values - it's a team effort. Communicate across channels to keep them top of mind. This shared purpose anchors your team, weathering any storm. 2. Psychological safety: Trust is the #1 factor driving team performance. When change hits, transparency is your lifeline. Openness builds trust, even when the going gets tough. 3. Inclusion: We need all brains to tackle the complex challenges. Create an inclusive space where every voice matters. This is where the magic of psychological safety truly takes root. Jill Avey

In our high-demand work environment, it’s easy to become laser-focused on tasks and goals, often pushing us to communicate through quick exchanges or brief messages just to keep things moving. But what are we losing in the process? We lose the depth of connection, the chance to fully understand each other, and the opportunity to build genuine relationships. We miss out on the nuances, emotions, and ideas that come through when we take the time to truly listen. Active listening is a vital practice that can transform our workplaces into more human-centered, empathetic, and connected spaces. Paola Brignoli

Wouldn't it be a much better idea if people who did sponsored walks, cycles, etc, were to choose other activities they could be sponsored for? For example, sponsored charity volunteering, beach cleans, tidying up gardens for the elderly, community projects, etc. This way, they'd be not only be getting money for the charity of their choice, but also helping the community in general - so a double win! I'd definitely be happier paying sponsor money to people for these types of activities. Rhoda Cameron

You don’t have a past. It’s only a memory. You can’t go back to the past but you can look into your memory. A memory is selective and often overlaps with imagination. It’s not real. I heard Jonny Wilkinson sat on a podcast, “your past isn’t a tail behind you,” and when you realise that it becomes a process of letting go. I immediately felt lighter when I heard him explain it that way. Your past doesn’t define you. Your future hasn’t happened. So, there is only now. How does that make you feel? Penny Delve

One common challenge I see among founders and execs with ADHD: They are great at advocating their mission and giving value to others. But they miss out on advocating for themselves. Three examples of how this is sucking your energy: 1. Staying busy, because not being busy would just confirm everybody′s assumption that you are just lazy. 2. Saying yes impulsively to taking on new projects we actually (physically and mentally) have not capacity for - but then doing extra hours (Because suffering in silence seems less trouble than people being mad at you and having to explain yourself). 3. Putting everyone else first, because you feel you need to earn your right of being accepted over and over again. Christian Ehmen

It’s ok to want a healthier bank balance but to do so requires a change in your thinking and in your energy around the green stuff. From a spiritual or Universal Law perspective, there isn’t ever a shortage in the supply. The issue is in how you believe, think, feel and act with money. Worrying about it, thinking it’s going to run out, wondering where more will come from. This creates a really low energetic frequency and that’s what the Universe responds and says ‘YES’ to. So, you’re saying you want more but your universal language of vibration is speaking lack. Donna Elliott

I used to think that I was avoiding tough conversations because I was trying to protect the feelings of another person, but when I started to really understand myself, it had nothing to do with the other person, and everything to do with me. I had told myself a story that I didn't want to make someone else feel uncomfortable, but actually, I didn't want to sit in the discomfort myself. Why? Because I was in fear. I was a people pleaser. I placed being liked by my team over doing the right thing. It was quicker for me to do something myself than take the time to explain to someone else. You might think that avoiding conversations made for a nice culture where no one was ever upset, and everyone got on. Nope. It was toxic. There was resentment, anger, passive aggression, insincerity, false harmony. Gemma Ellison

You deserve a business you don't want to burn to the ground. And I want to prioritise how I feel on the daily while I build it. (Because if going at a 100 mile an hour is at the expense of our health, relationships and happiness, then it isn't giving us the lifestyle we want). I deeply believe there is another way... Because it's not about giving up on your dreams or business. It's about becoming deeply intentional about how you feel every day while you do the work to build your business. It all starts and ends with our mindset, beliefs and the actions we choose. Because: Belief = create emotions = create behaviour. Sophie Fraser

I was just 2 when my parents left me, and my grandparents stepped in with love. Despite their care, I struggled with feelings of being a burden, felt abandoned by my parents, I never quite fit in with other kids, felt odd, shame, never enough. My grandparents struggled financially, and it was just a lot for a child to take in. I learned to numb and tune out. School was hard and at the age of 11, I faced a significant trauma that left deep scars. Today, over 141,000 children in England are in kinship care, often facing trauma, neglect, and mental health issues. Yet, these families receive little to no support. Silvia Freeman

“It’s not my job to make my staff healthy” - A brilliant line from a People Director I chatted to last week. And I 100% agree! No company can make people healthy. But! They can provide the tools and support to help their people look after themselves. Tools that build skills. Which is why I’ll always advocate for: therapy over a meditation app, personal training over a video class, nutritional coaching over a recipe book, and financial coaching over a spending app. Put simply… Don’t feed them a fish, teach them to fish… then give them the time & space to visit the pond. Jamie Humphrey

What the TV show ‘Love Is Blind’ taught me (and no it’s not about love)… it’s about life choices. You don’t have to stay because you said “yes” before. Logic keeps you safe but not necessarily happy. Join the dots to make sure they match up. Get super clear on your non negotiables. Keep your options open before diving in. Your heart knows what it wants to do. Don’t apologise unless you mean it. Ask all the questions you need to. All isn’t always what it seems. You can plot twist anytime. Not all that glitters is gold. Trust your gut always. If it feels staged, it is. If it smells off, it is. Everyone needs a Benaiah character to tell you the truth. Laura Joy

Stop wasting your energy on things you can’t control! Where focus goes, energy flows. And where energy flows, whatever you're focusing on grows. In other words, your life is controlled by what you focus on. When you are aligned with your personal flow state it helps in appreciating life! When you can’t control something in your life, it’s normal to become upset. But you don’t have to dwell on negative feelings. Shift your focus and put your energy into something productive and focus forwards. By letting go of the things that no longer serve you (or maybe never did) and focusing on the things that light up your soul, you take one step closer to achieving your goals in life. Rachael Lemon

Psychological safety is the core of workplace resilience. When your team feels safe to take risks, resilience becomes a shared effort. Here’s the bottom line - Employees need to feel it’s okay to take risks - If things don’t go as planned, they need to know you have their back - This sense of safety helps them bounce back stronger. Creating this environment isn’t just important, it’s essential. It turns resilience from an individual skill into a team strength. As a leader, your mission is simple: create a space where risk-taking is encouraged, and setbacks are seen as opportunities to learn. Andrea J Miller

One of the biggest lies we have been told is the main point of exercise is to shrink our bodies. But I’m just going to come right out and say it… the idea of training for a “summer body” is just a trap. If you’re made to believe that the only reason you exercise is to change the shape of your body, then I think we need to talk. If we only allow ourselves to focus solely on achieving that ‘perfectly proportioned slim and toned body’ we will miss out on the real benefits of exercise. The benefits that really matter to us in the long run. By shifting our perspective from trying to fit into a certain mould to working on getting stronger, healthier and feeling good in our own skin, everything changes. Tara O’Donoghue

Do you have a catchphrase? I find myself repeating these to my children and I have a few for my internal dialogue when I hit a negative thought. I know, I am a naturally positive person but even I can't be this all the time. I know, it's hard to believe with my smiley exterior. When my children reached an age of interaction my catchphrases naturally seemed to appear with my favourites being: "You can do whatever you put your mind to!" and "Never give up, never give in" As you can imagine, this one has been used negatively and backfired on me. Clever kids. Fiona Ratic

For me, making art is about having a conversation with the universe. I use it to figure out ideas. That it comes out visually in a way I feel confident sharing with others is a lovely by-product. The themes start with being inspired by nature, often based on the seabed, rockpools, and natural formations in soil and sand after rain. I am curious about spontaneous pattern-making and the patterns that come out of nature. I am also interested in finding the balance between?tension and release, freedom and control. Sarah Restall

These five statements completely changed how I viewed my career (and my life). It took me 35 years but now they hold me accountable daily. 1. The magic you are looking for is in the work & decisions you are avoiding. 2. Every decision is hard - you get to choose what your hard looks like. 3. Your life changes the moment you decide to take control of your own thoughts, actions and reactions. 4. Feelings are like waves, you can’t stop them from coming but you can choose which ones to surf. 5. Don’t overcomplicate it. It’s never that deep. 99% of your decisions are reversible. Yasmin Sampson Da-Rocha

You’re not just a leader. You’re a force. The one who cares deeply and disrupts fiercely. The one who believes in the power of empathy just as much as the power of action. This is for the rebels who innovate, the ones who aren’t content with the way things are. You’re here to change the game. For those who know that leadership isn’t just about results - it’s about impact. It’s about leaving the world better than you found it. For those who mix it up. Who bring everyone to the table. Who know that diversity isn’t a checkbox - it’s the key to stronger leadership. This is for the ones who own it, all of it. Who lead with integrity, because trust isn’t given - it’s earned. For the passionate. The ones whose hearts beat for something bigger. Who lead with purpose and let that purpose drive them every single day. This is for the rebels. The ones who lead with heart and mind. The ones who are here to inspire and change the world. Dipti Shah

Why didn't they say they were struggling? We know that there is an increasingly higher incidence of mental health issues, and that the number of people taking time off sick from work due to stress is skyrocketing. But we also know that, despite it being more acceptable to talk about mental health, people are not accessing counselling services through EAP schemes. Why not? Maybe because people: Worry about the stigma. Think it might get in the way of promotion. Fear that disclosing problems to their manager will reflect badly on them. Don’t want to discuss problems with a stranger. Don’t get through the triage system when they contact EAP. Don’t feel their problem is bad enough to seek help. Are unable to fit appointments around work or family commitments. Worry about lack of confidentiality. Nicole Valens

What are your children afraid of? My children’s fears past and present include: bananas, cats, vaccinations,singing in public, spiders. It is natural to want to distract them, talk them out of their fear and try and make them feel better. Unknowingly this can be dismissive. How about instead of saying “You are fine. There is nothing to worry about.” Try “I can see that you are feeling a bit sacred. I am here with you.” Not allowing your child to feel seen, heard, acknowledged and understood, can actually heighten the fear. Rachel Vecht

I have never been asked why I do what I do. Does that mean it doesn't matter? Hell no... I know why and that's what's important. I know it makes me all fizzy inside when my clients find success, whatever that looks like for them. Their joy is my drug. First promotion, developing a teammate, nailing a tricky conversation, making a presentation to shareholders or strategy proposal to the board… A distinction in their studies or achieving accreditation... maybe simply taking a tiny but brave step toward something new. I feel useful, I feel proud, and I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, that I'm good at, that I love. Rachel Woods

Perfection is not good enough! Perfectionists (and I am a recovered one!) see perfection as an absolute (in other words everybody will agree on what it is). It may well work when we think of a great piece of art but… In reality, there are as many definitions of perfection as there are perfectionists! Basically, if you aim for perfection, you set yourself up for failure. But with ‘good enough’? ‘Good enough’ is ‘good enough’! See the difference? Don’t let the search for perfection stop you from trying, improving, getting things wrong, getting things more right and from … getting there! Karine Zbinden

I am the member of two great communities that I am proud to promote each week. They are supportive, educational, fun, and full of amazing people. The antidote to social media isolation is community. Lea ?? Turner 's HoLT and Nick Raeburn 's Hall of Heroes have added a different dimension to my LinkedIn life. Click the pics to check them out:

Having been an HR Ghostwriter for a decade until 2023, I am now encouraging people to find their voices rather than lend them mine.

Thoughts make more sense when you take the time to write them down.

When you share your journal (anonymously) with another person, it has more impact.

All the best, Parzival11