I Wish I Was an Undercover Boss

I'm no wordsmith like Bourdain, but I do appreciate his reflections after he hit it in his 40's. He went through some terrible times. Terrible times seem to teach us to become more aware. Sometimes. Then again, sometimes, they are too powerful for us to recognize them.

Awareness + experience are powerful change agents.

We shouldn't have to be undercover bosses in order to see when abuse is happening, or when we can step in.

It's a popular tv show, and I know that some leaders will ask employees or family members to experience a place as a consumer. (Sharing for anyone who has never heard of it). I'm ready to be an undercover boss for hire.

Today, I visited a once fun fan favorite diner who would not get a second look by Bourdain, or that Diners, Drive ins and Dives Guy.

In what was once, one of my favorite nostalgic breakfast joints that I know now, I'll never step foot in again.

What is happening? Oh yeah, we are noticing horrific behavior. Noticing it, is the way we get to decide if we are going to insist on changing it, or allow it to happen.

I also heard a recent certain leader suggest that unemployment needs to surge to "remind them that they work for the company, not the other way around". I know you know.

Sorry, but ... you can't walk this back.

We've also heard company owners complain that people don't want to work, while employees are clarifying that they won't be treated so poorly anymore.

That's so uninformed, it's hard to respond or reflect on how out of touch people are right now.

#Trust once broken, will never go back.

I don't know all of the breakdowns of this massive miscommunication, but I do know that when you treat people well, they will be there for you. When you show respect, dignity, and some humanity (the good part), they will will show up for you, for the company.

Nobody WANTS to be out of work, or suffering from financial hardship. Only people with money spread that propaganda.

We all have the issue of #ageism on speed dial. For me, It's being singled out as "too old" and yet, told that I'll be viably working for another 10 years minimum. All while having "too much experience" in the opinion of one leader, and no where near enough, with decades more than that person (ageism is very loud).

This isn't an #AARP conversation. The opposite in fact.

It's about how #teenagers and younger people who also experience ageism.

When was the last time you were supportive and kind to a teen in their first or early career? Were you

Teens and young people have grown up with us teaching them to hold themselves in a place of respect, esteem, and positive regard. We have been teaching the tenets of positive psychology for nearly two decades (has it been that long?). They grew up with the standards.

At the same time, everyone now seems very bothered by them believing us.

Now, everyone is upset that young employees expect to be paid what they deserve, to be treated with respect, and to be valued, as is their right as a human being.

Today, while visiting an old stomping ground diner for lunch (nostalgia), there were only 3 tables filled with a total of only 10 customers in the entire place. At one pm on a weekday afternoon. It was a ghost town, when it used to be packed w/a 20 minute wait.

I ordered nachos.

Some people have sued companies for less.

The service and food were terrible. Comically bad. But that's not the worst of it.

The manager and two servers were laughing about a kid (teenager) who had applied for a position as a waiter. The condescending tone the manager had while laughing at the teen for not knowing that a server used to be called a waiter was awful.

The man literally said, "That stupid kid didn't know what I meant when I asked him if he ever waited tables. What an idiot. I asked him, and he said [sic] no, but I have been a server before".

Disregarding the fact that twenty years ago, the service industry worked hard to level up just a bit of respect, by being asked to be called 'server' instead of "waiter" or, "waitress".

This young man literally grew up with a level of respect he had not known was different somehow a decade before (when he was a toddler).

The manager should have known. The laughing (albeit very bad waitresses) should have known.

I HOPE that the young man does NOT get the job, let alone work there.

It explained a lot. The manager did nothing but micro manage. The two servers were dismissive and rude, not to mention, lacking in any knowledge of the products, or what should have been their job.

We have to stop treating our young employees as if they deserved abuse, then expect them to establish a baseline of positive workforce once they actually get to a professional job post school (be it at 18 or 25).

Respect is a two way street. Yep. Even in the restaurant, service industry.

So is positive regard.

So is nurturing a young person's growth into loving what they do.

When a manager or employees (any company, at any level) keep bad employees, or tolerates that sort of behavior, the entire company will end up failing.

I thought I'd write that here instead of *Yelp where it will fall on deaf ears, but I did read the Yelp reviews, and it seems this was NOT an isolated incident.

Soon enough, the competitors will shut down yet another of my old favorite places sooner rather than later. People remember how they are treated.

Don't serve up ick. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

Nobody will care except for the franchise owner who must have invested a LOT of money in this place that's been a staple for decades. To the investment group that spent millions to open that franchise, you might want to go undercover to that particular site. I kept the location to myself on purpose. It's a reference for things I've seen in my travels. And I travel. A lot.

Follow a strong, cohesive, healthy model that has a mission and purpose!

As someone who may be a bit grumpy in life, and maybe have had my days (we all have), there's no way I would have sat there if that young new-to-the-working-world was being interviewed. I would have said something in the moment.

My own young son was treated terribly just this past summer. TWO managers were slamming him with a level of disrespect and a condescending tone that I taught him to NEVER put up with. I was proud of him for quitting.

I've worked for my fair share of terrible bosses and along side abusive workplace bullies to know when the red flags are hanging on a doomed store clearly run by deaf ears.

• What about you? As a parent or helping professional?
• What would you do?
• Allow the abuse or step in and say something?

It's never, "nobody wants to work anymore"

It's always, "Nobody wants to be abused anymore and people want to earn a living wage" today.

Cultivate a culture of respect, kindness, authentic compassion, then model that for the new people who one day, will be taking care of us.

Look at models that work.

Learn from them.

Oh, FYI, this was my plate of nachos. Um. A cup of chili poured on top. Who puts chili on nachos? :o

I'm no Anthony Bourdain, but I know a nacho when I see one. I'm thinking about starting a food vlog art exhibit. I call this one ... NOT nachos.

Yum.

(Before you see how many people are following me, then quickly say, "oh, she's a nobody, so not worth following" ~ I did a cleanse ... of followers. Deleted oodles of them). I'll address the "is she anybody I should know" shite I've heard from a popular positive psychology Mr. ... another time. Follow or don't. I don't base my self worth on any of that. You shouldn't either.

K @henryhealing444