I wish I knew this in my 20's - Vol.VII

I wish I knew this in my 20's- Being a working mom is worth it !

At 26 , most girls were planning their next career move and here I was getting excited about being pregnant with my first child . I got married at 24 and it was a decision made out of choice not that I owed the world an explanation however my life plans did come in the way of my work plans!! I had completed a fab calendar year in sales but I made the cardinal error of sharing the news of pregnancy before the ratings could be revealed , its a common practice for ratings of pregnant women to be downgraded and while the corporate world doesn't speak about it most women will tell you that they have been denied a promotion, good rating or role because of it.

Pregnancy, career break, coming back to work and finding a foothold is tough but what is even tougher is continuing to work with the working mom guilt everyday. Mornings are full of chores , getting the kid ready ,packing lunch , sending off to school, you reach work and as the day progresses you are wondering when you can get off work to go pick your lil one, take her home, play with her, homework ,catchup and everything, put them to bed and then log back in to complete the work you left behind. My days would start at 6:30 am and end well past midnight- doing two jobs which are equally demanding and not acing either is the guilt most working moms live with.

In 2019, our second daughter was born, I took a career break of 2 yrs and then came back to work , this time in my 30's and with an all knowing visage- been there done that . I know all the drills, not saying it gets easy just that I now manage it a lot better.

1. Multitasking- It took a pandemic for the world to realize that you can from anywhere , but even in 2017 I used to request for one day of week to be work from home. Working moms should actively use this option to ensure they can manage work and home at their own pace . Everything gets done eventually but having the flexibility to do it on your own time ensures balance. Being a mother taught me how to balance multiple responsibilities , projects... it became second nature to look at everything as doable if you just break down the big task into small parts. Hey Deepti, Can you take additional responsibilities? "Sure, no problem".
2. Empathy- 2016, my 3 yr old had 104 fever, I had to hold her and stand in the shower to bring her fever down and next day when I reached office drained of all physical and mental energies there was no-one who even understood what I was going through. People at workplace are always going through various phases in their personal lives, rocky marriages, aging and ailing parents ,breakup, mental health issues-In being someone who wasn't "seen" I realized the value of being empathetic to others needs. I see people for who they are- people not resources.
3. Clarity of thought- I had cracked a dream role at an E-commerce giant which was making its entry into India but it required for me to move to Bangalore, after trying to convince them that I could do the job from Gurgaon I eventually had to pass on the opportunity. Being a working mother might leave you feeling like you are letting go of the best opportunities or not even have a shot at them- Fair!! but guess what something else turns up. There will always be many tasks that need to be done but by being able to calculate trade-off ,prioritize the important I have often been commended for having tunnel vision/clarity of thought in most scenarios and I owe it all to the practice I get in doing this as a mom day in and day out.

There is no "right time", sometimes its best to follow your own instincts. To be a mom or not to be is a choice but should your heart want it then let no-one tell you that it will mean the end of your career, if it all being a working mom will make you a better working professional. It is truly worth it.. in 20s, in 30s or beyond.

Happy Mother's day